I really want a boyfriend

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sly279
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25 Mar 2014, 12:45 am

alessi wrote:
I thought I wanted a boyfriend too but I had a partner who was abusive and nasty. He cheated and finally dumped me.
I don't think I can go through that again. I am still not over it.
All that glitters is not gold.


hugs?



Who_Am_I
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25 Mar 2014, 4:31 am

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And I'm going to lose my lovely mum soon because she's going on an airplane at the end of this year and since that thing about the Malaysa thing I am put off by airplanes because of f***ing terrorists I HATE TERRORISTS I f***ing HATE LIVING IN FEAR OF THE f***ing c****! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
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Think about all the other times you've freaked out over some disaster that you were convinced was going to happen to you?

Did any of them happen? How many times exactly have you or your loved ones died catastrophically over, say, the past year?


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Joe90
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25 Mar 2014, 11:54 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
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And I'm going to lose my lovely mum soon because she's going on an airplane at the end of this year and since that thing about the Malaysa thing I am put off by airplanes because of f***ing terrorists I HATE TERRORISTS I f***ing HATE LIVING IN FEAR OF THE f***ing c****! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
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Think about all the other times you've freaked out over some disaster that you were convinced was going to happen to you?

Did any of them happen? How many times exactly have you or your loved ones died catastrophically over, say, the past year?


Everybody tells me I have more chance of tragically dying in a bus disaster than my family dying in an airplane flying to and back from the USA, and I have been getting this bus regularly for almost 8 years and have never known the bus to crash. But it still worries me because I keep thinking the airplane might mysteriously disappear, or terrorists are planning on hijacking that very plane right at this instant. I do wish people could rely on airplanes in peace without having these f*****g terrorists terrorizing them.


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syzygyish
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26 Mar 2014, 6:04 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
There was a guy on here your age, over there in England, who I used to talk to in PM's sometimes who really had the hots for you. I haven't seen him in a while so I don't know if he's on here. I encouraged him to tell you and ask you out but I don't know if he did. If I can remember his user name I'll PM him.


Why are you wasting your time trying to find free websites which can only line you up with horny males who are only interested in one thing
when there is a trusted and loyal Aspie female here who has found a trusted and loyal Aspie male here who wants to get to know you
is in fact probably infatuated with you
and has probably left the site because you ignored of dismissed him?


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Cafeaulait
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26 Mar 2014, 6:07 am

I found a boyfriend through online dating. But I do think that online dating makes certain things more difficult when it comes to dating.



Cafeaulait
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27 Mar 2014, 11:39 am

You are just like me Joe90.



Joe90
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27 Mar 2014, 1:22 pm

syzygyish wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
There was a guy on here your age, over there in England, who I used to talk to in PM's sometimes who really had the hots for you. I haven't seen him in a while so I don't know if he's on here. I encouraged him to tell you and ask you out but I don't know if he did. If I can remember his user name I'll PM him.


Why are you wasting your time trying to find free websites which can only line you up with horny males who are only interested in one thing
when there is a trusted and loyal Aspie female here who has found a trusted and loyal Aspie male here who wants to get to know you
is in fact probably infatuated with you
and has probably left the site because you ignored of dismissed him?


Make me feel worse about myself why don't you. I don't even remember receiving a PM from this member. You can't just send a person a PM thinking they're going to date you, and if they don't reply you delete your WP account. To be honest the thought of using WP to find dates has never occurred to me. At first I didn't really want an Aspie for a boyfriend. But then I learnt that you don't know what anybody is going to be like until you meet them a few times, Aspie or not. It's just that I did date a boy with Autism a few years ago, and after about three weeks I found he was not really what I wanted. He kept on going in another room and pacing about making loud squeaking and humming noises and swinging his arms about like a fairground ride, and I kind of sat there wanting to sit and talk, but he wasn't very good at that. Not that I didn't understand or anything, but it's just not what I really want in a man. I still respected him and I stayed friends with him and invited him round and hung out with him and stuff. I am not too picky with friends because if it's a nice person who wants to know me, then they are friends, no matter what neurology. But I am a little bit more picky with what boyfriend I end up with. I don't want just anybody, for the sake of having someone. I know I sound desperate because ALL of my cousins and ALL of my friends have a lover now, I still want someone that's right for me and I'm right for them, and I want to feel special to somebody and make them feel special too.


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Dantac
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27 Mar 2014, 1:27 pm

If its any consolation, if I lived in the UK I would have asked you out :)



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27 Mar 2014, 3:47 pm

No-one will make you feel special. You have to do that on your own, or the other person will disrespect you in the relationship.


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equestriatola
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27 Mar 2014, 6:11 pm

I really want a GF too, but sometimes I can be a bit too shy about asking a girl.


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CJH123
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27 Mar 2014, 7:02 pm

Same boat here to, I would love a Girlfriend! or even just to get friendly with somebody see where it goes. Sadly however I am also shy and don't ask people out or talk with many people at all. I grow close to those I do but Im deeply emotional and confide allot In the people closest to me.

Sometimes I don't know if that's a good or bad thing for somebody to have in a relationship.



Mindslave
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27 Mar 2014, 8:18 pm

smudge wrote:
No-one will make you feel special. You have to do that on your own, or the other person will disrespect you in the relationship.


That's not true, smudge. I've made a few gals feel special before, but that's because they were special to me. Sure, I didn't *make* her feel special, but I didn't have to. It does bother me when I'm expected to be responsible for her happiness, or to "protect" her, because that's immature and annoying. That's not what Joe is talking about though. She wants to feel loved. Understandable enough.



smudge
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28 Mar 2014, 8:15 am

Mindslave wrote:
smudge wrote:
No-one will make you feel special. You have to do that on your own, or the other person will disrespect you in the relationship.


That's not true, smudge. I've made a few gals feel special before, but that's because they were special to me. Sure, I didn't *make* her feel special, but I didn't have to. It does bother me when I'm expected to be responsible for her happiness, or to "protect" her, because that's immature and annoying. That's not what Joe is talking about though. She wants to feel loved. Understandable enough.


That's what I meant.


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Joe90
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31 Mar 2014, 12:30 pm

If I do get noticed in that way, it's always either by a man who is married, or a man who is really not my type. I don't go for a certain physical feature, but there's still got to be something about them that draws me to them. I can't just date anyone if I don't like them in that way, because it's not fair on the man if the relationship is dishonest. But if somebody is interested in me who secretly makes me literally feel sick, I don't have the heart to tell them that I don't like them in that way, especially once we get talking and I can tell that they are feeling hopeful. That has happened before, and they got all upset and made me feel like a bad person, just because I told them they were very nice but weren't my type to date, and when I said I still wanted to be friends, I didn't hear from them any more.

I've been on a dating site, and I found I didn't really form any connections. Some men started talking to me and I replied an appropriate response each time, then I suddenly didn't hear from them any more. Then suddenly one did keep a conversation going, and we sent each other a few messages each day until I felt there was a connection, and then I added him on Skype. The trouble was he didn't have a profile picture, but the conversations were going so well that I wanted to give it a try, as it was the furthest I had got on a dating site. Then he videocalled me, and that was when I saw what he looked like for the first time, and he was not the type of guy I wanted. He was foreign, and no I am not racist, I just tend to be more sexually attracted to white people. Nothing to do with racism, before everybody creates an uproar about it all. My uncle is white but has always been sexually attracted to Asian girls, and he is dating one now. I don't call him racist, it's just what he likes I suppose. So now I have got this foreign guy on Skype who has become hopeful, I will feel awful if I told him that he's not my type. I didn't like to when I first saw his face on the Skype videocall because I just couldn't. I hate falling into this trap.


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01 Apr 2014, 12:42 am

Joe90 wrote:
If I do get noticed in that way, it's always either by a man who is married, or a man who is really not my type. I don't go for a certain physical feature, but there's still got to be something about them that draws me to them. I can't just date anyone if I don't like them in that way, because it's not fair on the man if the relationship is dishonest. But if somebody is interested in me who secretly makes me literally feel sick, I don't have the heart to tell them that I don't like them in that way, especially once we get talking and I can tell that they are feeling hopeful. That has happened before, and they got all upset and made me feel like a bad person, just because I told them they were very nice but weren't my type to date, and when I said I still wanted to be friends, I didn't hear from them any more.

I've been on a dating site, and I found I didn't really form any connections. Some men started talking to me and I replied an appropriate response each time, then I suddenly didn't hear from them any more. Then suddenly one did keep a conversation going, and we sent each other a few messages each day until I felt there was a connection, and then I added him on Skype. The trouble was he didn't have a profile picture, but the conversations were going so well that I wanted to give it a try, as it was the furthest I had got on a dating site. Then he videocalled me, and that was when I saw what he looked like for the first time, and he was not the type of guy I wanted. He was foreign, and no I am not racist, I just tend to be more sexually attracted to white people. Nothing to do with racism, before everybody creates an uproar about it all. My uncle is white but has always been sexually attracted to Asian girls, and he is dating one now. I don't call him racist, it's just what he likes I suppose. So now I have got this foreign guy on Skype who has become hopeful, I will feel awful if I told him that he's not my type. I didn't like to when I first saw his face on the Skype videocall because I just couldn't. I hate falling into this trap.


The heart wants what the heart wants. You are not racist.



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01 Apr 2014, 1:09 am

^
Yes, I agree.