Something is taking hold of me, something insidious

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beneficii
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20 May 2014, 5:23 pm

My mum came by to help me clean. When I first answered the door, she said I seemed out of it, but after she coached me in cleaning (and did some herself) she said that I seemed to less out of it at the end.


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21 May 2014, 12:52 am

I thought I'd have been napping, but I've not been. I've been a bit more excited since my mum left; well, I was going to go to a depression support group, which made me want to nap, but I decided not to go so I became more excited and interested in reading about many subjects on Star Wars, Harry Potter, and other such hobbies of mine. I've just been appreciating the Japanese dub of The Phantom Menace after having read the novel Darth Plagueis. I also went on Reddit where I read about some people's experiences with surgery and felt a great sense of loss.

I certainly feel more energetic now and looking for something to do.


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auntblabby
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21 May 2014, 12:53 am

please do tell more about the surgery and the feelings of loss from the surgery?



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21 May 2014, 10:22 am

The surgery is sex reassignment surgery and it's less a sense of loss and more a sense of never having it.


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21 May 2014, 11:01 pm

Felt caught by sadness and anger again today with racing thoughts.


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auntblabby
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21 May 2014, 11:04 pm

I hope you kicked those thoughts out of your head and yelled at 'em for thinking they could live there rent-free.



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22 May 2014, 10:48 am

The lawyer responded saying yep, he wouldn't want to bring a law firm in--the law firm actually works pro bono--if they couldn't complete the case.

We shall see what we shall see.


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22 May 2014, 5:42 pm

My psychiatrist is dropping the antidepressant as he doesn't think it's effective, but he's keeping me on the benzo and the antipsychotic.


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CJH123
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22 May 2014, 5:44 pm

Good Luck, best of wishes to you!



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23 May 2014, 8:44 pm

I have a feeling of profound loneliness. I search, but no one can provide what I need.


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24 May 2014, 10:24 pm

I cannot help myself. Others will not help me. I am doomed.


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auntblabby
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24 May 2014, 10:26 pm

short of GRS, what will help you?



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29 Jun 2014, 1:37 pm

Despite plans to do so, I have still yet to really return to work.

Wakefulness now at times has become a weariness,, like now.


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