I want revenge

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What is revenge going to accomplish? Better to try and make amends I say. Love thy enemy and whatnot. Then you can really teach them, and they might actually listen.

Last edited by TornadoEvil on 27 Jun 2014, 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm upset about many things. All these bad situations that happened to me are stuck in my head and i keep thinking about them every day. Finding new friends sounds refreshing but i feel that the risk is too high. If i ever meet a person who treats me like s**t the ticking bomb will explode.

Last edited by Dizzee on 27 Jun 2014, 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Let karma take care of it. It's not worth your time. Life is constantly transmutating into a new reality (like some hydra,) to a certain extent I think we have a responsibility to guide where our realities proceed (for the good.) What happens to us, especially when one is wronged, makes me, at least, what I am, but we can guide where we go in the future.

There's always risk in life.

Do you have a special interest that you could fall back on?

I like reading biographies.

Neither, I'm a data-entry operator

I'm a working schmuck stiff.

I have a confession to make: I howl in the New York City subways.

But I do know about life.

Nothing specific interests me. I don't think i'm in mental state to study or work because i'm depressed. Actually i'm starting college this september and the fact that i'll have to study for hours a day scares the living crap out of me.

Last edited by Dizzee on 27 Jun 2014, 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Those who have good friends get shat on by other people. It's a part of life. When you have little to no friends it makes you feel even worse. I get that. Are there no people you haven't turned down as potential friends, even without seeing it? i.e..

As an aspie, I've had countless situations I didn't pick up on, and they had to be explained to me by someone else, that someone felt dismissed by me because I didn't pick up on their intentions. That wasn't their fault, or my fault. It was the AS. It's the nature of the condition. Placing blame on anybody isn't the answer. It however, helps aspies to evaluate themselves constructively and not be too critical of yourself, or others. Being largely critical of yourself usually reflects in your thoughts of others too.

There will be low-points, there always is. But you will always climb back up again, and down again. Happiness isn't a constant.

I felt precisely that way when I was 21. I went through a bad time. I got over it.

The way I got over it was to just start all over again. Turn over a new leaf.

What will you be studying in college?

Also: Do you notice how many people came to your thread? I've never had so many people come to my thread--I'm a bit jealous!

I think you'll be all right, personally.

You just have to get through this. That's the thing you have to do, Dizzee.

**Cyber pat on the back**

Dizzee,

You are at a very difficult age in life. Late teens/early twenties/starting college is extremely difficult. I went through a period of depression then, too. Not for the same reasons, but I think the age and changes in life make the feelings even stronger than they would otherwise be.

You will meet new people in college, many who will share similar interests, both in your major and in any clubs you can join. There are so many different groups, I am sure you will be able to find one you are interested in.

Hang in there. Things *do* get better. When I was younger, I was treated terribly at school. Some of it was from mean kids, some of it was due to misunderstandings I had and others had which were probably due to AS. But older people tend to treat people a lot better than younger people do. They may not be your best friends, but they will generally be respectful.

Do not retaliate against anyone. That just puts you on their level and makes you "one of them." You need to take the higher road. That will make you a stronger person and that strength will help you to achieve your goals, both in school and otherwise.

I can sort of understand that feeling, but its probably most certainly not worth it....I mean for one it would just further ruin your life and/or leave you dead, most people would just think you're an a**hole and probably not think too highly of you so it would not make people see you as not being a loser. Also chances are all these friends they have aren't even real friends....people like that just use each other for the most part but aren't actually there for each other when things get a bit rough or difficult so what they have isn't really so great when you really look at it.

THIS by the truck load.

I could be bitter. My mother didn't want me, and made that blatantly clear. Ages 5-16 were not easy on me. Not too many friends. No rosey memories of high school. Was sexually abused by one of my high school teachers for which he was NEVER held accountable.

Mix in bipolar disorder. ...

And other assort things.....

I refuse to be bitter. Life is too short bitter. I have more yesterdays than tomorrows. I refuse to rehash the past.

I have a ton of stuff and lists of people who I wouldn't mind plunking a bullet in their worthless heads. Where does that get me? I don't feel better thinking about it. They rent space in my head, which does me no good.

Let go and let Karma (or God) shovel on the justice. Live your life. So you don't have a, b and c. Are these things you would even enjoy? And what are you doing to get closer to your goals? Anything?

It is really easy to blame everyone else for our sh***y lives. I've done it. It let's us be blameless.

Only you are responsible for your happiness. My mom died bitter and miserable. She lived her whole life complaining the world has screwed her over. Some parts, yes. But the majority of it was her own nasty personality, and general ungratefulness. She was too busy being angry to notice any of the good things, that were in her life.

I acknowledge your life was miserable and not easy. But staying in that miserable pit only hands those clowns all the power for your life. You are letting them win.

How are YOU planning on making your life better, and kicking those negative thoughts to the curb?

I'm not planning anything, life seems boring overall. If I only had good friends since childhood I would be doing fun stuff like all young people do. Going to parties and beaches with lots of hot girls. Man I'm so jealous of these popular guys who get to do those things that I don't .

I'm not going to lie to you and suggest that you let karma do its job, because karma doesn't exist. There is no cosmic force that avenges us or rewards our good deeds. Often, the "bad guys" win and the "good guys" get the sh***y end of the stick. I won't expect you to be a good little victim and put up with your lot in life. I think you are perfectly entitled to be angry if you have been genuinely harmed by people.

However futile the pursuit of revenge often is, I do believe that closure is important. Revenge is one form of closure, but rarely effective. It does depend on the situation; most of the people who wronged me either became better people and apologised or they f****d up big time and have sh***y lives.

Sometimes people verbally confront the person that harmed them. They actually do this in prisons and it is apparently very helpful in the empowerment of the victim and the rehabilitation of the criminal. I imagine that at least a few of the people that hurt you may not even be aware of the impact that their actions had on you. Confronting them might help, but I think both parties need to consent.

I dunno. I have no idea what they did to you that made you so hurt and angry. I know how traumatizing bullying can be and I have seen what child abuse has done to people. If I were in the shoes of those people, I would probably want revenge as well.

My NT friends are nice people and some of them have (had) Nice girlfriends and I can live the same life like them and we're both uneducated and take "lower-class jobs", most of my former classmates do I see them in the grocery stores around my area almost everytime and they're Nice people as well and what's the point of having Beach parties I've been to parties and they're overrated, if you want to f.ex listen to loud Music go to a Club or a concert and I also prefer most other types of Girls than the blondes/bimbos they seem to have more to offer.

being unhappy and depressed is gift. it's your brain telling you that your duty in life now is in being personally fulfilled and to forget the rest. you are lucky to experience it while young because you have much more strength, energy and time to figure out what being personally fulfilled means to you. don't waste it by giving your depression and unhappiness to other people.

it's like, if you have to go to the bathroom you don't want other people to take care that for you, so why would you give them control over something that is even more deeply personal, like your life?

revenge is wasting your life and efforts and makes you completely subservient to those people you seek revenge on. remember, you always have a choice to focus on them or on you.

good luck.