Every aspect of my life is pathetic

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I actually feel fairly similar, though my first semester of college was a few years ago....that first year sucked actually. I've since dropped out...but that is rather complicated as to why, but also had trouble with math...failed remedial college math twice with a tutor, and my math skills have not improved. Last time I was in college it was a community college and one of the professors I had told me there may be ways to sort of get around the math if it was determined I really was unable to pass....can't remember the details but maybe see what sort of help you can get for having trouble with math or if there is any way to maybe be assessed for a learning disorder in it. Basically I think it may be possible to get a degree depending on what obviously not any mathmatics degrees even if you don't end up getting the math.

You still have some time though, its probably not a bad idea to attempt finding work....or maybe there are certificate programs you would be better at that don't have so much math and reading, but also help you find skill based employment, since you mention you haven't really read much anymore....but is that due to trouble with it or just no interest in reading novels? So while I am not saying you should just drop out, it would be good to consider various options as college is not the only way.

Actually when you start to help others in the same boat, you'll gradually improve your self esteem. The fact that you have gone through so many experiences causing anxiety is a major factor that will enable others in the group to establish rapport with you. I think most Aspies would prefer such a group to be a "round table" sort of group rather than one takes charge and tells everyone what to do, so I think it's a great opportunity for you, maybe even to find friendships and possible relationships later - you never know.

All the best with the venture. It's not always easy to start new projects, but believe you have something to contribute and it will work out. Find out what the members would like to hear about or do during meetings: talks, DVDs, activities and so on. No-one needs be perfect - we all have to start somewhere.

You sound talented. Just let your creative juices flow naturally, don't try to force them! I also do quite a bit of writing but have to be in the right frame of mind. In fact writing was very therapeutic for me during an extremely difficult time of my life during PTS.

I also decided once I had been diagnosed with AS, which was a couple of years after the downward spiral and PTS that I would try to share my various experiences through WP as well as through a blog. People find it interesting. I attended my school reunion a few years ago for the first time since leaving the school 30 years previously, and found that my classmates were all wanting to apologise for their treatment of me and that their increased maturity meant they no longer considered me "odd", especially when they heard more about AS.

Let me assure you that you are not alone in the struggle here, you have fellow comrades fighting the same fight.

No real friends any more and didn't really make any new because a few people betrayed my trust at the start of uni and then cliques started forming. That didn't leave me with much chances to ever socialize since every time I talked to them I would just be bothering them. Even asking simple questions about course material would give me strange looks. At social events people sticked to people they already knew, I would just be kind of a strangler and never get talked to and no one would want to socialize with me. It kind of puts you in an impossible situation of social isolation with no chance to even start socializing.

I wanted to move out and live on my own, but also could not find a job. Applied to multiple employers with a very nice letter but they all dropped the ball on me when they noticed I was socially awkward. When looking for a job you can better be a confident slacker than an awkward hard worker.

Practically broke too, if I couldn't live with my parents I'd be living in sub-poverty conditions. Rent prices are unbelievably high.

The first time I asked a girl for a date was a disaster. Girl from uni I liked and asked her for a date, she said yes but then a day before the date she said "do you really think I would go on a date with you" and started saying a lot of nasty things behind my back to classmates. Before all that she acted nice and friendly to me for weeks, which in the end was just a charade. Sometimes you get a little more than being rejected when asking someone out, unlike us psychotic narcissists can be good at hiding their tracks.

Only things going well for my is my degree and my family which I am very thankful for. But it still sucks having to miss out on so many positive life experiences, and instead have them replaced with pages of negative experiences. I highly recommend you to stick going to every class, even if they feel pointless. Education is one of the few certainties we have as it's one of the things you can achieve simply by working very hard for it. Unlike dating or making friends it does not rely on a ton of variables and chance. It is purely you and your willpower, so keep at it and don't lose hope!

By the time I went to community college, I was so bad at math that they put me in Math 100 and I had to work my way up from there to Math for Liberal Arts so that I knew enough of it to get a degree. Fortunately I pulled it off, with little money and even less of a social life. I graduated five years ago.

Just keep trying and you'll make it through. Getting a tutor might help.

Yeah, i cancelled the plans for my Aspergers support group. I still want to start one, but it won't be any time soon

I just gave up

Yeah, i cancelled the plans for my Aspergers support group. I still want to start one, but it won't be any time soon

I just gave up

Soldier on through the trenches until that beam of sunlight hits your gaze.