21 Sep 2014, 3:52 pm
OliveOilMom wrote:
In short, don't let people make you feel bad about yourself for not agreeing with them. It's a reflection on themselves, not on you, when their self worth and confidence in their own opinion is so low that they consider any dissent whatsoever to be an attack. I have good friends who I disagree with rabidly on some issues, and they disagree rabidly with me on them too. we have discussions, debates, arguments, heated debates, overheated arguments, etc, but it's all good. I respect them as individuals and they respect me and while we may not respect the other's actual opinion for s**t, we hella respect the other's right to hold that (wrong) opinion. 
It's actually kind of fun to argue and debate with somebody about an issue, especially someone who knows what they are talking about. Twisting and turning the arguments around and trying new approaches and tactics and points is kind of fun. On top of that, sometimes we get to a point where one of us brings up a point that the other just can't refute and then it's "Oh man! Good one! I'm gonna have to for real think on that one and get back to you" and we actually do that. It's like exercising your brain, which Lord knows I need a lot of.
To some people, their ideas and opinions are really all they have to define themselves. To those sad folks, if you attack the opinion then you are attacking them at their very core and putting down everything that they feel they are. They don't see themselves as "I'm a lady who feels strongly that....." or "I'm a man who deeply believes in.....". They see themselves only as a "____________ activist" or a whatever - IST and are completely defined in their pointed little heads by one (and sometimes, God help them, many) issue(s). You can't help that, nor can you fix it. Just roll your eyes, shake your head, tell them "Bless your heart" and go on, and thank whatever higher power you believe in that there is more to you than some opinion that makes you foam at the mouth hysterically and possibly cry. In other words, leave the nuts for the squirrels and don't worry about them, they really can't hurt you.
It's actually kind of fun to argue and debate with somebody about an issue, especially someone who knows what they are talking about. Twisting and turning the arguments around and trying new approaches and tactics and points is kind of fun. On top of that, sometimes we get to a point where one of us brings up a point that the other just can't refute and then it's "Oh man! Good one! I'm gonna have to for real think on that one and get back to you" and we actually do that. It's like exercising your brain, which Lord knows I need a lot of. To some people, their ideas and opinions are really all they have to define themselves. To those sad folks, if you attack the opinion then you are attacking them at their very core and putting down everything that they feel they are. They don't see themselves as "I'm a lady who feels strongly that....." or "I'm a man who deeply believes in.....". They see themselves only as a "____________ activist" or a whatever - IST and are completely defined in their pointed little heads by one (and sometimes, God help them, many) issue(s). You can't help that, nor can you fix it. Just roll your eyes, shake your head, tell them "Bless your heart" and go on, and thank whatever higher power you believe in that there is more to you than some opinion that makes you foam at the mouth hysterically and possibly cry. In other words, leave the nuts for the squirrels and don't worry about them, they really can't hurt you.
I wish I could have friends like yours. It feels like absolutely no-one in the world gives a damn or any respect for what my opinions are. I see points being made on this every now and then, and then I wonder where ARE these people?? Where is anyone I can argue and disagree with, without them putting ME down or thinking any less of me? They all exist in Lala land.
