So confused right now.. what is her problem?
And the other thing, as I already mentioned, it's not like she has been contributing significantly more to our 'conversation'. At the beginning, yeah, but then I always answered, and told a little on my own. I feel like it was at least 40/60. Well, we'll see, I'm seeing her again today.
Oh ... well, this new information changes my viewpoint a bit.
If nobody can keep this person happy, then it sounds like she's probably expecting too much when it comes to talking, and she might be annoying other people besides you with her social demands, too. And especially if she expects you to talk but then won't contribute herself, that's not fair to you.
I agree with you that band practice should be band practice.
Now I was in a marching band years ago, and everybody liked to goof off and talk during breaks, but once the horn instructor, drum instructor, or drill instructor said the word, we got serious about playing the music and/or marching or practicing flag drills.
Anyways, it sounds like you're working things out together with her, so I hope everything turns out well.
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~~ the phoenix
"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine." -- REM
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Hi, I have to revive this thread.. as I now have a new, different problem with this person.
So after she told me that I talk too little, she said we could 'compromise' so that we talk a bit more but not all the time. I made an effort to talk more although I found it difficult to think of something to say. Strangely, she still isn't really talking more than me. When I say something she answers but that's it basically. Doesn't seem like she has a lot she would want to talk about with me.
Now, today I receive another email of her. She found me in an online music forum and read all my threads. I had been talking about the band, completely anonymous of course. Not giving any names. I didn't say anything bad about anyone, the only thing was that I wrote a guitar solo in one of our songs was 'terrible', admittedly a harsh word, but I never expected anyone from our band to see this and it was still in our early phase when we were experimenting with what to play, so.... otherwise I just wrote stuff like 'I'm not sure if my band is content with the way I sing' or 'I don't think we should play this song'. Nothing mean.
But she says I shouldn't talk to the internet about my 'problems' with the band and she doesn't like that I 'made fun' of their suggestions. Which I didn't, really. She seems really pissed off. I wrote her a nice diplomatic reply saying that I like being in the band and what I wrote was nothing more than some thoughts I had. Still I find it a bit strange that she would find me in an online forum, read all I wrote (anonymously) and get mad about it. If I had written 'the people in my band suck yo' then I would understand her. But.. I just don't know what her problem is, it's like she's waiting for me to do/say something wrong. I worry that this is going to cause problems in the band. It certainly makes things awkward.
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Your Aspie Score: 151 of 200
Your NT Score: 48 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
MindWithoutWalls
Veteran
Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,445
Location: In the Workshop, with the Toolbox
Sounds like she's toxic. I'd spend as little time around her as possible. She's taking advantage of how nice you're trying to be so she can pick at things about you and get away with it. The sooner you can mange some distance, the better. I hope you can find a good way to still be part of the band you enjoy playing with while not having to be too exposed to any more of her mind games.
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