I want to die

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Clever people don't cut themselves when they're angry.

Cutting is not as simple as clever or stupid. Self harm is a much more complex matter, or so I believe.

But nobody smart would do it. Someone smart would know not to and have power enough over themselves to not.

I know some very smart people from here who do it.

Maybe you are right, but, I've read lots of posts written by clever people in this section talking about self harm, and the pain they feel. I dont think it's as simple as will power either, if it was they could 'will' the hurts away.

Would make a change.

Meh, being right is a subjective thing, there is always an opinion/source/citation to refute the correctness of anyones ideas, that doesnt make the person whos idea it was invalid though.

I'm failing school.

That must be a difficult situation to be in, do you have a school support system?

No. They said I can do whatever I want about it. But I don't know what to do. I can decide whatever I want, though. I don't want to redo the year because my brothers would be in sixth form and I hate them and everyone who knows them. Constantly harrassed by them for being the stupid mess I am.

agreed.

sucks bout your brothers, do you live under the same roof? there has to be a way to separate yourself form them if that's all they do.

this is my last year here, for instance and i've never exactly excelled, just scraped by. so i see i've found myself right on the bath to getting out and not ready to graduate. but i guess i did it.

i know one girl that went to the hospital in HS and had to repeat a year due to missing so much, so it can be hard when there's that but hopefully they can contact each other if possible and see if they can accommodate? i think not failing is a pretty big priority right now, if you hate your bros that much.

i once cut "echad" (in the original hebarew) on my arm, i wasn't really thinking straight when i did it and i sort of regret it, certainly would not do it again and cutting IS dangerous - it's not as simple "clever/not clever".

Yeah, they're under the same roof. I avoid them.

I have 10 exams and the first is on the 14th. I have no idea how to do most of them, and only slightly know how to do a couple of them. I can't for the life of me understand anything I've learned this year. Failure is inevitable and I can't avoid it. I'll be lucky to get a grade at all in these 2 subjects.

And that wouldn't be so bad if I could work. But I can't because I'm waiting on the free health care, which is slow now they've figured out that while I do wish I was dead, I'm not actively creating a plan therefore no f***s given. It was that or keep me on a psyche ward. Hell no to that.

So I'm stuck in this position with nothing I can do. I can't work because I'm useless, I can't understand school, I hate being at home because these little s**ts are so loud and dumb. Everything is boring and I hate being alive. But other than that things are great.

Just 8 hours? or you mean 8 hours in that room but more time in the ward itself?....I've been in over a week, though it was a pretty nice facility with quite good food admittedly I still miss the food. Of course I went willingly because I was feeling suicidal and was afraid I'd act on it, I guess I knew I didn't really want to kill myself just was feeling really off and miserable so I was afraid I would try I had also managed to get pretty severely underweight(usually I am just a little underweight)..so they helped me with all that as best they could. They prescribed me one medication that ended up not helping me when I continued taking it after I got out...but I have kind of atypical reactions to psych meds so it wasn't really their intent it was just something they tried because various other ones failed to help me any. The quality of facility does make a difference though...I was stuck in an ER for like 5 hours in the past year because I drank a bit much so my mom figured that was the best option well that was miserable and the nurse was a b*tch I would have been better off sleeping it off at home...but no, even my sister agrees that was kind of stupid.

If hospitalization is something you have to face, is it possible to try a different one than you've been in before? I know the first time I was in a psych ward it was a worse experience than the one I describe in my post that was over a week...but it was due to being in a worst facility the first time around.

What things are "great" ? Can you elaborate? It seems that there are something that you really like about your life or something that you are proud of in spite of the current difficulties that you are facing.
By the way, I like your name-Iliketrees because I also like trees and many people can't get that.

It was a sarcastic remark of how my life is falling apart and there's nothing I can do. There are very few things I do enjoy, and that is constantly decreasing.

no thing on earth lasts forever, your present travails will not last, either, you will find better times down the road.