Can you learn to love loneliness?

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Lonliness definitely ebbs and flows, for me. It's not just "lonliness" -- it's a whole sliding-scale system. Most kinds/levels are tolerable, even though I'm sure that for most NT's they wouldn't be. I've been struggling lately, though with the worst kind -- the kind that makes you want to do something desperate.

You can learn to love being alone if you get more schizoidal as I have over the years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_p ... y_disorder

Even schizoids feel lonely , but they preoccupy themselves with fantasy worlds to not feel alone.

Personally, not really. At first (after an initial horrible adjustment fiveish years ago) I thought I was perfectly fine with it but I wasn't at all, it was and is very bad for me. Never loved it.

I learned how to love being alone this summer. I'd never had the opportunity before. It was great. I spent most of my childhood alone, and hated it. Early 20s were a mix of destitute lonliness with some socializing. Late 20s-30s were a lot of socializing (I'm "loud"), but it was more frustrating than rewarding. Now I'm inclined towards hermitage. Private time is my favorite now. So yeah, I suppose I have come to learn to love being alone.

For me, I do a lot, and I mean a lot of DIY and craft projects. Being self sustainable and living off the grid, making my own stuff and fixing it, is my #1 special interest. Being alone, I never lack for things to do, and am never held back by social drama. Just the constant satisfaction of doing what I love, and the gratification of being surrounded by finished projects.

So, I learned to love being alone by learning craft skills.

I have a cat though, so I don't know if I'm ever technically "alone." Unless I'm on a long bike ride. I love that too.

I think "solitude" and "loneliness" are two different things. I feel fine in solitude, and some of the loneliest times I've had have been in crowds.

I spend nearly all my time alone and don't recall ever having felt loneliness. Honestly, I have no idea what that emotion is supposed to feel like. I consider myself to have lived a pretty great life as well despite that I have never known true love and probably never will.

I guess I'm just not human. Or human nature is a load of BS. Whichever.

If humans really must be social then how do you explain all those Buddhist monks who went and lived completely isolated lives out in the woods to free their minds and achieve true harmony or whatever. I think they had the right idea with that. If anything I think that's the way mankind was meant to be and rather, society and it's pressures and neuroses are the real illness that has been forced on people's minds and ends up causing this "loneliness" people speak of.

The holidays don't help with feeling alone. The other day I went to the local Christmas parade alone. I noticed all the people with someone or in family groups. Loneliness hit me really hard that night. I started crying and had to leave. Loneliness comes and goes with me. I can feel alone in a crowed room. I do have friends, but I feel funny calling them all the time.

I did get a cat last month so I'm not as lonely. Pyewacket loves to cuddle. I've been playing my guitar a lot and practicing my singing. I finally got a computer from a friend so I think I'm going to start work on a new novel. I brought my paints home so I might start work on illustrating my children's book, and I practice my dancing. Just found out that I'm getting a Hammered Dulcimer so I can learn that as well. The last 2 month's I've been in my own place. I've never lived alone before and it's taking some getting used to. Been watching a lot of tv shows I have on dvd's, but that is getting old.

I have grown to hate loneliness. I moved to a different city from my family, lived there for years, and didn't make so much as a casual acquaintance. After a while, I moved back and am living with my mother. I feel I have fewer life choices because of this need to be with someone.

I used to.

I used to be able to enjoy being alone, until I fell in love (sounds silly typing this, but it's true). Even though that was long ago and I'm not still obsessing over it, I still was never able to get back to that. I read a poem which really expressed it to me, it was published in a student newspaper (no, I didn't write it, and I don't know the person who did except her name). Only thing of worth I can recall reading in there . I still think it's perfect. Having cats has helped immensely, by the way, at the loneliest times of my life. Sometimes going out to try to "meet people" or even just to public places would make it feel much worse. The loneliest place to be lonely can be in a crowd.

Without further ado, here's the poem (by Goldwyn Chapman):

Before I loved.
Before I loved I sought the sound of silence.
Before I felt.
Before I felt I loved the sound of silence.
On empty paths, in solitude, I walked alone.
I walked alone.
There I found my only love, I brought him home.
I brought him home.
While he was there.
While he was there, he filled the sound of silence.
He taught my heart just how to hear the sounds of love.
The sounds of love.
Hand in hand, in solitude, we walked alone.
We walked alone.
With joy and love we filled our world, we two alone.
We two alone.
Now I find when silence comes, I am alone.
I am alone.