feeling hopeless.

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no one sees me, its just waste of time showering. havne't showered since like last thursday.

well given like 90% or more of them require a guy to have a "decent" job to talk talk to them, not even date them but try to initiate dating with them. I'm not talking they want a billionare type women. but the they want a guy who makes 20 or more an houre and can "provide" for them.

yes confidence, ie emotionless

all I know is how to love others, its the only thing I'm really good at . so ironic. that I seem to be so good at pleasing and making women happy and bunch of women say I'd make a good bf or that women would be lucky to have such a good guy, yet because I lack a good paying job I'm avoided like the plague. so yeah its destroyed my self esteem.

seeing every woman on dating sites and hearing allyour female coworks all talk about how a guy who doesn't make good money is't a real man is where I get it from I don't talk to women about this, well I don't talk to womne anymore at all since I'm not allowed to since I don't make enough money. I'm not even worth being their lap dog

why aren't you two together?

I really don't' care about money besides what I "need" to pay for the things I want which I have enough to do. sure more would be nice, but I don't need too much more, I only wanted to work for the social aspect and getting out to do something that and helping people. sadly women don't' feel the same.

But, ask yourself--do you really want to be with those women? I mean the ones you work with who say a real man needs to make money. Money doesn't even have any inherent value. It's a symbol of value. Caring about money so much is basically nihilism. It's like saying you enjoy a picture of a smile more than actually being happy. Those women don't sound very smart or like they would make good partners. Money is something you have, not something you are, and you want a woman who is interested in who you are, right? Otherwise she can be with anyone who has money.

Confidence doesn't have to mean emotionless. It just means being happy with yourself. The irony is, you will attract a partner more by being able to be happy without being with someone. If you can only be happy by being with someone else then you will appear very needy. And then you are probably going to find a partner who will use you, because they will see that insecurity and desperation.

I hate dating sites, but I used to use one, and not all women were just after money. What kind of women are you looking for? Obviously money is not what's important to you directly, so maybe you should seek out women who have interests closer to yours. It sounds like you are looking at women who are concerned with living certain lifestyles which aren't really what you care about. So even if one dates you, how long would that last? How happy would you be? It sounds like you'd be better off with someone more like you.

We're not together because she said I had a "gay walk." I have no idea what that means, but I had a hard time trusting her after that. I felt very defeated and unlovable, but I realize now that I had no reason to place so much of my self-worth in someone else's opinion. She also had poor social skills and I think if we both could communicate better, we probably could have worked through that, but it is in the past now. The point is that I realize I don't need that one person, and I was miserable when I thought I did.

Anyway, I do hope you think through what you really want and what truly makes you happy. I used to feel very insecure that I wasn't masculine enough or didn't fit some ideal, either, because I had such a hard time dating. Of course, I also rarely approached people, and I was so insecure that I'm sure I was turning people off. I realize now that that stuff doesn't really matter. I'm also more accepting of my need for solitude and the kind of daily life I enjoy. For many years I thought I could only really be happy by finding someone, but I'm a lot happier just trying to accept myself. That will lead to better relationships, anyway.

I wish you well and hope you at least have an enjoyable weekend

i don't pre select out women, that cost money anyways. idk maybe it smy area but jsut about every woman requires a man have a decent job. I dont' have any job. and it doesn't give me incentive to find a job when it won't be good enough.
okcupid, pof, craigslist.

thing was I was happy withmyself and I was still sad. I'm just a people person so having a female companion is very important to my happiness. like you say you need time to your self. but to me time to my self is just horrible. seems lot of people think I am born wrong for this. but just as I was born an aspie its not my fault I am how I am. I think to finde happiness being alone you have to had been born being ok being alone. I've always clinged to people and tried to please them since I was a very very young kid. its just who I am. I'm not alone either. some people just require companionships more then others.

sorry that that happen

I feel like that too sometimes. What is it that depresses you?? Maybe you can do something about it, like I feel sad and depressed because I'm never satisfied and I want to make myself better, I never feel that what I've done is enough so I only feel satisfaction when I use my energy in something useful or when I achieve something, that's the only way to end my depression and that's the only reason that depresses me.

Change your mindset as soon as possible. It's vital.

Don't limit yourself in terms of income either. If you change your "I'm worthless and screwed" mindset, you'll attract potential employers and also girls who want to go out with you. Not all of them are so mercenary as to see your bank account balance before they date you.

Thank you for sharing more, Sly. I think we are very similar in some ways. I'd say I was raised to be a people pleaser--my mom certainly is--and have lived a lot with that mindset. It can make you feel good, but at least in my experience it also meant being too dependent on others. It's not good trying to please others all the time if you end up unhappy. It sounds like maybe you are sort of addicted to the approval of others in order to feel good about yourself. Do you think that might be the main problem?

Personally, I haven't dealt with severe depression but slight depressive episodes because my life is pretty much stagnant. But let me tell you, people will try to cheer you up but not very many are really willing to help you fight the source of your depression. I try to stay optimistic and that motivation helps me at least make things slightly better on my own. You always have resources, even if it isn't money.

really only care about the opnion of one woman, but as I don't know who that one woman is, I have to care about what all women think. as how can you expect to date if you dont' care what others think. problem is that most seem to think I'm worthless or not a real man due entirely to money and job status. in face of such sickness how is one not suppose to get depressed. even if I was rich Itd still depress me how sick humanity has come that its base peoples worth as humans off of money . also as others point out we are now in a society where its normal for most women to basciily sell them body and should for a mans money. thats the reality when you get rid of all the cover up talk, they won't date a guy unless hes well off. what else would you call that? mean if they were solely only exchanging sex rather then time, it'd be call prostitution. really couldn't I hire a escort(true one not whore) that would spend time with me in exchange for money. in which case what is the difference between an escort or paid cuddler and most women who only will date a guy with a decent job?

suppose I don't have to pay for the escort to go on vacations I hate.

its my lack of experience that doesn't get my hired. there's so many unemployed people in my area heck nation wide. so much competition. guy routed out bunch of people, narrowed it down to 6, interviewed us all. mine took a whole hour. then didn't hire anyone, re posted ad.

employers have got really picky since with so many unemployed its an employers market.

I think i envy asexuals and other aspies with no interest in love or relationships. nothing destroys self esteem more then having thousands and thousands of women tell you you're worthless or not a real man.

I have a penis. I thought that was the sole way of making a man a man and lack of one a female.
so I'm not female, but I'm apparently not a man. so what am I?

also yeah they dont' ask for your bank account. tehy ask for your wage. ie how much you get an hour, well more they ask for your job, then base what job you have to what that job usually makes to figure out if its a decent job or not.

in reality they could get a doctor with 90k in deblt who makes a boot load of money but wastes it all on gamblering. in fact thats probably who they deserve a poor doctor lol

honestly most middle class people I know don't really have lot of money because the waste it. I've never wanted to be a part of middle class. they live in huge debt. make payments on 5 cars they "own" a boat, few RTVS etc. or buy tons of alchol to get wasted every weekend.

Yep, the last part of your post describes quite typical NT behaviour. People on the spectrum usually have better values and priorities. I am hearing your frustrations and understand them.

Have you considered self employment. Utilize whatever skills / interests you have and which you could offer as a paid service. There are many to choose from. The very words "self employed" sound good to a girl's ears. Rightly or wrongly, it conveys ideas of someone who is in charge and knows what they want. After all, they even like the idea of "bohemian" pursuits such as music or sculpture better than someone packing stuff at the local Wal-Mart.

self employment requires money to fund the start up. so you need money to make money.

but i dont' have skills other then running a cash register.

pretty much sums me up. me being like the fox.

and

I don't get it.

what don't you get?