Wrong Planet Sucks!!

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I've been on WP for years but haven't made any friends really.

I just don't actually like online friendships at all surprisingly, always disliked the idea. I like real life friendships more.

Anyway, I almost never message anyone here ever and even when I do, I don't reply too much to any follow up discussions.

My inbox is and almost always has been at 0 for like the last 6 months now.

Only reason I still come here is discussion and socializing and trying to help each other out really.

All I wanted to say is, don't hold out on the hope that people will naturally be drawn to you on this site and you'll eventually make some friends. I've got a few 'acquaintances' but little more beyond that.


Make an effort...

But, what do I want from socialization? To be accepted and admired? Why is that so important to me? Why can't I just remove that need from myself? It makes no logical sense. There's no logical reason for any of it. It's all emotion, and it feels like it's completely pointless other than to satisfy the emotions that ceaselessly torment me.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; To get people interested, you must first be interesting to them.

How can I be interesting to them? I have nothing to offer. Or, do I?

Why is everyone else so interesting and not me? They have nothing interesting to say either. What's so interesting about them?

A lot of the things I talk to myself about are very interesting in my opinion ... I look in the mirror, and I see that I am very attractive, but it's not good enough for anyone.

I don't have much to say about video games I like, or music I like, or shows I like.
No one cares about my point of view on philosophy or my research on psychology.

I hear people small talking, and they think they are so fascinating! Oooo! The Weather! Holidays! Vacation! The News! Blah blah blah!!

*Overload Manifestation Imminent*

Not coming off as harsh, no worries. I'm not sure what to expect from strangers. I'm not sure how I would build self esteem of the social variety. I put a lot of importance into how I look, and I'm fairly confident with that despite a few flaws. I don't know how to communicate effectively. At all. Small talk is impossible. My life is entirely video games, shows, music, exercise, psychology. I don't know what to talk with people about, I can't think of anything at all.

Feeling needy is not something I can stop without having the void filled. If I don't feel that I need something, I ignore it entirely. If I want something, it becomes need, especially when said desire is very far out of reach, but not so far as to say it's completely impossible, just extremely unlikely to succeed without repetitive severe injuries. I'm not even sure what I want from people socially. Why do I want acceptance? I don't really know. I don't mind going slow, but not getting anywhere at all I cannot stand.

I had a few so called friends when I was a kid, but all we did was play video games, and that's all. Long ago, I had a girlfriend one time for awhile, and she watched her favorite shows repetitively, and I played video games, and we went out to eat and watch movies, and there was not much communication other than how we felt so similar somehow (I didn't know what Autism was back then). However, she was not like me. She was on another side of The Spectrum.

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing everything wrong and I can't figure out the right way to do anything. No one will tell me. They tell me to figure it out myself, because they say there is no formula. I'm doing everything I can possibly do to figure things out without completely destroying myself, and I am going nowhere but down. And, it leads me to think that I have to completely destroy myself in order to prove to myself that there is absolutely no hope for me.

To be so desperate means I am sure to fail with people. If I have a simple want, it becomes intense need instantly. There is no stopping it. It's always been this way for every second of my life. If I don't want something, I want absolutely nothing to do with it. If I were to remove my desire for socialization, I would never bother trying.

But, what do I want from socialization? To be accepted and admired? Why is that so important to me? Why can't I just remove that need from myself? It makes no logical sense. There's no logical reason for any of it. It's all emotion, and it feels like it's completely pointless other than to satisfy the emotions that ceaselessly torment me.

Their lack of interest in you demonstrates your lack of interesting aspects.

Maybe they play instruments or are talented in some other form of artistic expression. Maybe they listen more than they talk, while paying attention to what other people have to say. Maybe they don't spend their days online, going on about how interesting they think they are.

Well, of course you think you are interesting! Stop admiring yourself and find out what other people like. After all, the world is not all about you!

Then make the effort to find out what interests other people, and learn as much as you can about it.

These are all interesting subjects. Just because they're not all talking about you does not make these subjects any less interesting. In fact, it just proves that these subjects are more interesting to them than you!

I'll alert the media ...

It just so happens that the weather is one of my special interests!

And I like vacations!

Just thinking aloud here, rather than making any attempt at factual statements, but I guess most people would say that if everybody else ignored them, they'd feel like they didn't exist, which would be like experiencing death. So I suppose the need to be social is born out of the need for recognition in another that you do exist. Socializing is a reassurance that you are alive in this world and that you can identify as a human being because the other person is experiencing the same weird sensation of consciousness filtered through the human experience as you are. It's about making that connection.

So the tormenting emotion that you feel is presumably one of fear, the fear of death or loss of the sense of self. The more people you know and spend time with, the more you become a person. That is the need of the ego.

Maybe the problem for those of us on the spectrum is that we do have more of a suspicion that the sense of self, as limited to this human body, is an illusion. So socializing never feels quite right because it is a pretense. It's playing at being human.

I just don't actually like online friendships at all surprisingly, always disliked the idea. I like real life friendships more.

Anyway, for purposes of receiving attention, I think it would be better for you to participate in community activities, get to know some of the people in your community, and offer your help to anybody that you can find who may need your assistance, and you will probably find that there will be people within your community who keep-in-touch with you. You also need to keep in mind that with attention comes the aspect of what kind of public-reputation you end up establishing. For example, I became really famous on-line several years ago, with one of my You-Tube videos getting over two million views in less than a year, but with more attention also comes a wide variety of how you receive said attention, and yes, both positive & negative are mixed with attention if you're getting LOTS of attention (like I did), and as you can see here from the responses within this very thread alone by itself, you should probably ready & prepare yourself to be able to handle all kinds of attention (including negative ones), before trying to put yourself into any heavy spot-light.

I still don't understand why I want to be connected with someone like minded.
It's like my senses simply want to merge with theirs. I don't know why. Maybe it's an innate survival mechanism.

Once I found a girlfriend, I didn't feel the need to socialize or have friends anymore. I got everything I needed from her.