The one great saving grace in human life is that we don't have to relive the past. You know better, you do better.
What happened to us is not who we are; it's what happened, then. The challenge is to make the shift from reaction to past fear (which is still presenting) and to current options and possibility. You can do it, Amity. I know that you can. It makes it hard and harder to move forward if we are always looking back (just imagine for a moment trying to drive a car like that!) We go forward safely only by focusing on what is ahead.