I couldn't handle the classroom. What should I do?

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Maybe your right.

But seriously what would stop anyone from suddenly trying to attack me anyways... If they know they could.

Generally, especially in college, you are unlikely to be attacked, just because you are not outwardly showing extroversion, and that is by no way a barrier to being attacked. Anyone can be attacked at any time, but college is one of the places where you are less likely to be. It is much different to high school, where people are fully in juvenile or gang like mentality. What's the worst you fear could happen in college when you think about being attacked, what plays on your mind as something you fear happening?

@jacoby we can both get through this. I sometimes take valerian root which us herbal medicine. I think its important to not become psychologically dependant upon the medicine though but only use it sometimes.
I understand how you don't like seeing people hang out with their friends and such. I used to get kinda jealous. Sometimes it makes me feel kinda angry but at the same time I know for certain we can have that too. I could make friends, because now I know how, but old emotions come back and hold me back. I've decided if I'm feeling bad I will go to student services. This is too important to me.

@insomniagirl I just think I must be on guard often. Nobody is allowed to screw me over. I am getting better at being social and stuff but I never wanted to share anything about myself to others or make small talk in case it was for bad motives. I know that isn't true for the majoroty of the time now though. I want to have freedom and I feel like it's a problen. I can't have freedom but be social at the same time. Also if anyone was mean Id feel too angry. I'd get into trouble myself and be kicked off the course.

I won't quit my course or fail though guys because that's not an option.

Do you want to be able to share stuff about yourself now? I guess all sharing comes with a risk, i think that when my feelings altered about the validity of other peoples negativity that was sometimes expressed to me (as it is with everyone at time), the degree to which i let it inside, when this changed and i decided i was ok regardless of what occasional people may think, i was more able to share how i feel and express myself easier with people.

I only want to share the sort of every day stuff that people tend to talk about without caring. Not much more. I think all information could be used against you, but most people don't want to do that, even though it can certainly be done.

In the past I was very secretive and didn't allow anyone to know anything about me or help me if I had a problem but I found that's not a good way to live and it's inefficient. For the most part I'm not like that anymore, but if I ever need to be that way, if i do see a true threat then no problem. I handle anything.

I want to handle normal things too though and try at living better. I want to be able to do things like talk with friends about our interedts and not worry that its unsafe to tell thibgs to anyone. I have nothing to lose really.

No one will judge you if you decide to leave a class and you should not feel ashamed.

If there is support offered, definitely take it. Also, see if there is work or lectures that can be broadcast online so you do not have to go. Usually, when I am feeling overwhelmed it is because more than one thing has gone wrong that day and not according to schedule- and thus, I freak out and think the sky is about to fall on me. Take it easy and see if you can reintegrate yourself in there slowly.

Well thas good, it sounds like you are working out things, and making things easier on yourself.

High school is awful with everyone trying to be the same. College is more about being yourself so people don't go after you for every little difference. It can still happen but it's much better. I couldn't believe how much better when I went. Just tell yourself you're in a much different place now.

Totally agree here, it's very much a different environment, both it in attitude the of student and teachers.

Turns out you guys are all correct. college is okay.

It's really great that you took control and talked to administration before this problem started snowballing. Seriously, college is so much nicer than just about anything else.

Consider that there are other students who are also anxious - just not on the level that you are. If you seem a bit shy and nervous, that's hardly out of the ordinary.

Does focusing on your subject help with the anxiety?

Good

Most of the time, in the US, you have to show up to 80% of your classes in order for your grade not to be reduced. In other words, if you left one class, then it's not a big deal.

I agree about not becoming psychologically dependent on medication and it worries me how this will play out in the future but I also have to be able to function so whatever means can achieve that I have to look into. I'll cross this bridge when it comes.

I doesn't make me angry too much, just sad and depressed. Like I said, I tend to turn anger inward so I hate myself far more than I do anyone else. I don't know how this will play out for me, it's just hard being so isolated and alone when it seems everybody else has something. I guess it is nice to know somebody out there is going thru similar circumstances, not nice that they have to suffer like that but nice knowing that I'm not some total freak. I feel like if I can just get some momentum and feel better about myself that I could turn everything around, maybe I'm an optimist at heart I don't know not something too many people have accused me of being in my life. I have to do this, failure is death in my mind.

I think I put way too much pressure on myself but I just feel that if I don't get a move on things now and if I can't improve myself soon then it will be too late and it would be all for naught anyways as there would be no hope of being able to live any normal life where anybody would ever want anything to do to me. I do worry about ending up homeless one day, all I have is my immediate family. I have to gain a wider social circle, I want to find people or at least a person that accept me for me but I don't know if I have the skills or the luck for it to happen but all I know is that I don't think I can ever be content with the isolation I live in now, being alone in a crowded room feels a lot worse than just hiding away but you will always be alone if you hide away. I just figure things will get better or I'll die, this life is not healthy.