Board index › Coping in life › The Haven

My Parents

Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

22 Oct 2015, 4:16 pm

frenchmanflats wrote:
whatamess wrote:
You need to find any job you can and start putting the money in the bank asap. I know that some parents are our worst enemies, that's what it was like for me. For me, getting away meant marrying the first idiot that came along and I endured it for 4 years so that I could be away from them. Eventually that ended, thankfully, by then I had a job that paid a bit better and got myself my own apartment. While I had to work sometimes 60-80 hours a week to keep my apartment and car, it was worth every single minute as I had a peace that I had NEVER had at home, in fact, never again since I remarried.

There is nothing like being on your own. It might be tough, but I promise you the reward of having peace will more than make up for the fact that you'll have to work a bit harder for a while, be a little more thrifty, etc.

Good luck!


That is easier said than done. My parents will not let me work at all. I have begged and pleaded with them.


Aren't you grown? What do you meant they won't let you work? How do they prevent you from getting a job? Unless they have some sort of legal guardianship over you and you have some kind of problem that causes you to have to depend on them rather than just move out and be on your own then the only control they actually have over you is what you give to them.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 96,102
Location: UK

22 Oct 2015, 4:48 pm

If she's that bad and she's causing you all these problems then you really need to f**k her off and cut her out of your life.

People do it all the time and they survive.

Your Mother seems to have some sort of fundamental problem that there is no cure for.

If you don't do something positive for yourself you will either go mad and she will always have her control over you or your head will explode and you will spontaneously combust (in other words the situation will kill you).


_________________
we have existence


frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

26 Oct 2015, 2:37 am

I FINALLY DID I. I left home not telling anyone where I was going and I went to Carson City. I stayed at Harrahs and they had a band there and I asked they needed an extra keyboardist. We played all the coolest songs from the 1970s and the 1980s and brought the house down. We played Booker T and the MGS, TSOP, The Romantics, The Barkays(Soul Finger)and many other songs.I played the on the keys and vocal "Roll with the Changes" by REO Speedwagon . . They had a female vocalist there and she sang "Shame ,Shame and Shame". I started from 8:00 and we ended at 11:30. Our final song was "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger. It was soooooo fun and liberating. Nobody yelling at me .The only bad thing that I got a speeding ticket by going 10 miles over the speed limit.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 96,102
Location: UK

26 Oct 2015, 6:31 am

Awww....Well done!!

So what is your next move?

Do you have an ultimate plan to stay independent?


_________________
we have existence


envirozentinel
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,226
Location: Keshron, Super-Zakhyria

26 Oct 2015, 1:22 pm

You deserve your freedom. Pity some folk are so controlling; seems you're better off as far away from your mom as possible. I cannot think of any reason why she won't "let" you work and yet at the same time begrudges not getting any money from you, like she got from your brother. Why does she like him but not you?

Take each step at a time and be strong.


_________________
Why is a trailer behind a car but ahead of a movie?


my blog:
https://sentinel63.wordpress.com/


frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

26 Oct 2015, 5:53 pm

babybird wrote:
Awww....Well done!!

So what is your next move?

Do you have an ultimate plan to stay independent?


There are teaching jobs in Carson City. Some of the band members knew of the teacher situation there. Soon as I get my degree, I will find something there.



Last edited by frenchmanflats on 26 Oct 2015, 6:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

26 Oct 2015, 5:57 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
You deserve your freedom. Pity some folk are so controlling; seems you're better off as far away from your mom as possible. I cannot think of any reason why she won't "let" you work and yet at the same time begrudges not getting any money from you, like she got from your brother. Why does she like him but not you?

Take each step at a time and be strong.



Its been a battle of favorites. My mother has been a favorite of my brother and I was my father's favorite. Now since my father has been deceased since 2004 and with no protection, she has had a license to abuse me.



envirozentinel
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,226
Location: Keshron, Super-Zakhyria

26 Oct 2015, 11:01 pm

At your age, she certainly can't control you to the extent she has.

Good luck with your decision to change your future.


_________________
Why is a trailer behind a car but ahead of a movie?


my blog:
https://sentinel63.wordpress.com/


frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

26 Oct 2015, 11:14 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
At your age, she certainly can't control you to the extent she has.

Good luck with your decision to change your future.



She found that she could not control me for that one day in Nevada. It was beyond her reach of control and she did not like that one bit. I loved every single minute that I was out her reach. It was so liberating. I had a ton of fun also playing in band. I have had not done that since the early 1990s.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 96,102
Location: UK

27 Oct 2015, 5:32 am

frenchmanflats wrote:
babybird wrote:
Awww....Well done!!

So what is your next move?

Do you have an ultimate plan to stay independent?


There are teaching jobs in Carson City. Some of the band members knew of the teacher situation there. Soon as I get my degree, I will find something there.


Well I hope it all works out for you.

Please keep us posted.


_________________
we have existence


frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

27 Oct 2015, 7:04 pm

When I thought that ended, she started yelling at me again. She started comparing how successful my brother is and the regular garbage that spews from her mouth. That I am a loser and will never amount to anything



envirozentinel
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,226
Location: Keshron, Super-Zakhyria

27 Oct 2015, 11:07 pm

Don't listen or pay attention to the lies!


_________________
Why is a trailer behind a car but ahead of a movie?


my blog:
https://sentinel63.wordpress.com/


frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

28 Oct 2015, 12:55 am

envirozentinel wrote:
Don't listen or pay attention to the lies!



How can not stop listening be corners you. This is her method yelling at you. When you are dead asleep she will walk into your room early in the morning and start yelling. This is the period that you can't defend yourself. I take medication to help me sleep in the evening. So I am pretty drugged out fully asleep and can't give a coherent answer.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 96,102
Location: UK

28 Oct 2015, 4:41 am

frenchmanflats wrote:
When I thought that ended, she started yelling at me again. She started comparing how successful my brother is and the regular garbage that spews from her mouth. That I am a loser and will never amount to anything


Sometimes it's not best to argue back. It's clear your mother has some kind of deep rooted irreversible problem.

You need to do something for yourself and forget about her. It seems to me that she will never ever recognise you for your talents and for who you are. That is why it is most crucial for you to part company from her. she is dangerous to you.

You will find people who will appreciate who you are in the world.

You are not a loser.

It must be hard for you because she is your mother but she's not really treating you like you are her child. she is unnatural and you deserve better. go out and find better....please do it for yourself.

Don't try and prove yourself to her she is not worth it my friend.

she is an abomination.


_________________
we have existence


frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

09 Nov 2015, 2:08 am

My mother is at again. She is comparing me and my brother and how much he helps her. I would help her if she let me work that b****



frenchmanflats
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 51
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

09 Nov 2015, 9:58 pm

My mother and I got into another fight again. Its the same old subject: money. I told her that as soon as I received my degree and I would move out of the house. I also stipulated that I would not speak to her or be at her own funeral. Things have really broken down to the point where I am not allowed to call her "Mom" anymore.