Joe90 wrote:
If you just read the post I last wrote here, carefully, you might find the answer to your questions without me having to elaborate over and over why I'm feeling upset.
I think an NT will understand. This is all about irrational feelings. I have talked about it to my NT mum, and she knows exactly why I would feel upset about it.
I already said that it's an open invitation in my original post. But even if I hadn't of known about it (which I didn't until recently), I wouldn't have been asked about it or anything. I mean, if it's an open invitation, then why would she still go around asking acquaintances/work colleagues (not people she would see outside of work nor speak to that much in work) (please take that in!! !) if they are coming or if they could come, but nobody mention it to me? I only knew about it because I have open ears and usually I pick up on things what are going on among people around the workplace.
It's just sometimes nice to be asked. I suppose it's an emotional/principle thing what most Aspies wouldn't understand. Things being mentioned to you by the social event organizer, even just out of politeness/friendliness, can make you feel...unforgotten. I mean, I might have not known it was an open invitation. So even if I really wanted to go, I might have assumed that only certain people are invited, only to discover that it was an open invitation all the time, and that I'd missed out.
It's a bit like greetings cards when it's your birthday. According to most NT females, receiving a card from someone goes a long way. A logical-minded person might think ''oh it's just a card, why are you worrying?'' But a card means something. An invisible social message. It's so hard to explain this type of thing.
If you are a kid (< 18), I can see being upset by the lack of a birthday card. As an adult, not so much simply because grow ups tend not make a big deal out of birthdays and it's incredibly petty to essentially set folks who love you up to fail.
You can either sulk "nobody loves me" if you don't get an unsolicited birthday card from your partner or BFF, or you can just TELL them your birthdays on the 20th and you'd love a card/pressie.
This goes QUADRUPLE if your long term partner/BFF just isn't naturally a fuss over birthdays person and has forgotten your birthday annually for the last five years. Seriously.
There's a cheesy but interesting book called 5 love languages that posits 5 different ways people express love - gifts, actions, words, etc. if your love language is gifts, you feel unloved if your partner doesn't buy you a bday present. If your partner's language is acts of service and she/he shows love by doing all the housework because they know you hate it, they're showing you love and you're not getting it.
Invite yourself to the party or don't. But unsuccessful hint dropping made you miserable in HS, is mKing you miserable now and you continue to feel hard done by.
14 Oct 2015, 12:34 pm
