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Joined: 11 Nov 2011
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29 Oct 2015, 6:31 pm

BirdInFlight...with the greatest of respect would you please get off my thread before I inform a mod of what you said on my other thread which was completely inappropriate and something you should have PM-ed me with if you had such a problem.

I really don't want to row with you.

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nurseangela
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29 Oct 2015, 6:36 pm

I have to say there is a totally different atmosphere on WP than there is on AC. I haven't been able to get close to anyone here. It seems most are pretty standoffish. When disagreements break out on AC, the moderators are right there to try to put out the flames - not so here. There are cliques here too, that I don't participate in because I feel it closes other members out and the ones I speak of are the threads that say how much a certain WP member is loved. I think those threads close out everyone else and make them feel inferior. And I've already said my peace about the "Send an anonymous letter to any WP member" (I hate that thread).

So yes, in the time I have been on WP (about 5 months), I really haven't made any friends. It's nice to be able to say whatever is on a person's mind, but there is also a way to say it and still respect the other person. And if you know you have hurt someone's feelings, like with the OP here, then be a big enough person to apologize. I still don't understand why Aspie's don't apologize because I know they can't always be right. In the almost two years now that I've been on Aspie websites, I have NEVER had an Aspie apologize to me even when I know they are in the wrong. I just don't get it and probably never will.

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

Last edited by nurseangela on 29 Oct 2015, 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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29 Oct 2015, 6:37 pm

Baby bird,

I'm sorry that I upset you. My doing makes it my fault. No excuses.

Sincerely,

Fnord

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beakybird
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29 Oct 2015, 6:38 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:

1) I am not "following you around." I saw your thread about cold calling after it had been locked and I couldn't reply. It infuriated me though, because the things you said were hateful. You said hateful things about the people you cold call.

2) I'm not the only one who has a problem with cold callers. I can handle a cold caller who is, however, at least polite, and then I can politely finish the call. What you described enjoying being like to your customers did not sound like someone who is sensitive to how some people feel when they answer a cold call.

You sounded like you make things even worse for these people. And now you're acting surprised that some people responded to you with criticism of you for that. They're not criticizing your job. They were criticizing that you expressed taking delight in pissing off people on the other end of the phone when they got upset that you are cold calling them.

Very few people are going to feel glad to hear a cold caller say that about their job. "I enjoy that they get annoyed." Not cool. And you didn't just say it once. You repeated the sentiment throughout your responses on that thread. If you felt backed into a corner you shouldn't have made it worse by antagonizing people with expressions of enjoying upsetting people on the phone.

I'm telling it like it, nothing more, nothing less. I'm EXPLAINING to you what really happened since you seem to be conveniently forgetting salient parts.

And by the way I WORK TOO. I do not "collect government checks as beakybird assumes.

Go take a running jump with those assumptions. I not only work, I'm self employed, I got up off my butt and started my own damn business and I work DAMN hard.

But yes it's villainous to deliberately annoy people just because you're in a telemarketing job. People hate being bothered badly enough in the first place, it's even worse to know that telemarketers ENJOY pissing them off.

And again -- PHONES and people calling is something many of us on the autism spectrum already have difficulty with to begin with.

Has it never occurred to you that some of the people you call have autism too? Shame on you.

And I'm done here. You're playing the innocent and I think the way you treat your job is despicable. I usually treat telemarketers very well even while ending the call and asking to be never called again, but now in future I think I'll make them as uncomfortable as you seem to like making us recipients.

It's despicable. I'm not going to "be supportive" of that!

And once again, I work too. But I wouldn't dream of making life sh***y for the people I deal with in my work.

even though I was addressed within this comment I will refrain from engagement of the comments out of respect to the OP, for whom this has obviously been stressful.

babybird
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29 Oct 2015, 6:42 pm

Fnord wrote:

Baby bird,

I'm sorry that I upset you. My doing makes it my fault. No excuses.

Sincerely,

Fnord

It's fine Fnord really.

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nurseangela
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29 Oct 2015, 6:44 pm

Fnord wrote:

Baby bird,

I'm sorry that I upset you. My doing makes it my fault. No excuses.

Sincerely,

Fnord

Fnord, you're wonderful!! You're the first Aspie I have ever seen apologize. You are indeed a very special person.

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Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

Fnord
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29 Oct 2015, 6:46 pm

babybird wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Baby bird,

I'm sorry that I upset you. My doing makes it my fault. No excuses.

Sincerely,

Fnord

It's fine Fnord really.

Thank you.

babybird
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29 Oct 2015, 6:49 pm

nurseangela wrote:

Hi, and thanks for your response. Sorry you haven't made any friends here yet.

There's always hope to cling onto though.

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Adamantium
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29 Oct 2015, 7:18 pm

Moderating:

BirdInFlight wrote:

1) I am not "following you around." I saw your thread about cold calling after it had been locked and I couldn't reply. It infuriated me though, because the things you said were...

And I'm done here....

Hi BirdInFlight,

You are entirely entitled to your feelings, but this is the Haven and not the right place for it. Please don't vent at another member like this in the Haven.

Thanks!

League_Girl
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29 Oct 2015, 10:26 pm

Was that phone thread removed? I couldn't find it.

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btbnnyr
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30 Oct 2015, 12:18 am

nurseangela wrote:

I don't think it is necessary to apologize to others if I say something that hurts their feelings.
People get upset over all kinds of things, and often when my comments are not directed at them or personally attacking them.
If I say my opinion about issue in general, and someone gets hurt feelings, I think they should own their feelings and deal with them instead of trying to push blame to others.
I prefer a forum where people can say what they want, I think this is quite important on autism forum.
I think mods here are too fast to lock threads.

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League_Girl
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30 Oct 2015, 12:50 am

I only apologize if the other person was so hurt by my comment they were harassing me or giving me trouble so I apologize to make them feel better so their hurt feelings go away and so they leave me alone. If not then I just know they are just wanting to make trouble and they just have issues and what I did was irrelevant and they are just using that an an excuse to have a go at me so it's not like I did anything wrong.

Some people don't take it well when we hurt their feelings so they go psycho on us so I always think a simple apology will get them off our backs because their hurt feelings would be gone and we have made them happy again and everyone is happy.

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nurseangela
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30 Oct 2015, 2:31 am

League_Girl wrote:

Those people you speak of must be Aspies. If someone hurts my feelings and they don't apologize when I have made it well known that they have hurt my feelings, then I leave and never return. Hurting someone's feelings, knowing you hurt their feelings and still not apologizing is a great way not to have any friends. (And that person probably doesn't deserve to have any friends.)

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Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

nurseangela
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30 Oct 2015, 2:47 am

btbnnyr wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

What I just said above goes for you too. Anyone who can't or will never apologize shouldn't have a friend (an NT friend anyway). NT's are all about feelings - not logic. NT men maybe a little more accepting of the no apology thing than NT women.

This reminds me of my father who has just such a wonderful personality (sarcasm). I, my Ma and my brother can't get away from him quick enough. He always knew how just to say the right thing that hurt the most and never ever would apologize. He went through life having no friends except my Ma who didn't divorce him because she had no where to go and he had us - his kids. We got out as quick as we could and my Ma ended up staying, but she is severely depressed. She still remembers a lot if the crap he said and he still says to this day and he has never apologized once. He's 83 now and still has not had one friend. We still come around out of guilt. I learned from living with him that I was never going to stay around anyone who would never apologize if they had hurt me and knew it. Life is too short to be around those kind of people that just keep hurting you. You know what's really interesting? He has several Aspie traits.

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

babybird
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30 Oct 2015, 3:42 am

I'd just like to say, I have never intentionally gone out of my way to upset or cause distress to anyone on this site.

This is where I come and when I come here I want to have a good attitude towards people.

However, if I have said words and in an inadvertent way managed to cause distress or upset in any way whatsoever, I apologise, I apologise, I apologise as this was not my intention.

But if you live in the UK (not sure how it works in the US or the rest of the world) there is something called the TPS. You can register for this it should stop cold callers from calling you. I think it might take a couple of weeks to kick in and it doesn't stop you from getting calls from any other country. I suggest also that you ignore numbers that you don't know and screen your calls as much as possible. Its what I do and it's the only advice I can give.

Again I apologise wholeheartedly for any distress caused.

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babybird
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30 Oct 2015, 3:45 am

Oh and thatk you Nurseangela as it never occurred to me to apologise about inadvertently upsetting people.

Thanks also to everyone's kind words of encouragement on this thread.

And also thanks to everyone past and present who have given me support since I have been a member here on WP.

I just hope that the future is good.

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