A Lot Has Happened Recently

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Shee....you have ruined your image in my head with this post.

Now I can never think of you as the Sith lord of WP as before.

Even Sith lords have their moments of self-doubt. (Vader being a prime example!)

Fnord, my impression of you is that you're assertive but fair. Community social cliques are beyond my comprehension, but everyone should have the right to speak at a town meeting. That was wrong of them to cut you off.

Being forthright and independent is most often not valued among the general (neurotypical) population. Neighbors and 'friends' can be really cutting.....I know. Maybe your wife can smooth over any misunderstandings?

Well, we all appreciate you, Fnord! Our resident badass

I don't know how you interact with the people who didn't engage with you, so I don't know if you were being @$$hat or not. You're not that bad, just be yourself and don't fake what you're not.

Those things sound quite familiar to me as well. It's frustrating as it seems like we all have labels that say "It's ok to ignore this person, they are not important socially". I don't know what the real reason is but it happens a lot. The only reason I think I'm tolerated is because I'm usually a +1 with my wife as well.

As far as contentious I can't say I've followed you extensively enough to make that determination. I have found you are direct which I appreciate. I've found sometimes I need to step back a bit and examine myself and how I might be perceived by the world around me. It's not always obvious. Not that we have bad intentions, we just don't always understand how we are coming across to others.

Exactly!

Sometimes it takes a virtual slap in the face (or sometimes, a real one) to wake a person up to the fact that he's putting off everyone he comes in contact with.

Unfortunately, it may take years to turn my reputation around ...

If you really want to see how others view you, you've got to acknowledge the bad things without at least appearing offended. Like this thread for instance, is sort of not helping you. Everyone is praising you and you're showing much appreciation for it, because you don't like seeing that bad side of you, and people here are masking it. But you've got to acknowledge and appreciate help when it's something you don't want to hear.

I think you're OK. Yes, you do appear mean to others on here sometimes, and a know-it-all. I'm not saying I'm some angel. I've read before about the things you do to help others IRL, and for that I think you are very decent. At other times, when I see you put patronizing advice to others on here, like the undiagnosed, it makes me feel even more sorry for them, because people are often going through a bad time before they get diagnosed. And at least for me, getting a diagnosis was REALLY hard, and the so-called professionals messed that up too by getting some of my symptoms wrong.

Unfortunately, it may take years to turn my reputation around ... [/quote]

That's the worst part I think. It doesn't take much to screw everything up but takes a long time to set it right.

I personally think this forum should have freedom to offend people, unless he/she does offend the other intentionally.

Focusing on matters makes this place way more productive. Each person has their own views and they have the right to believe that they are right in their own eyes, which we should keep in mind in the first place, then, we may prevent ourselves from easily getting offended.

I'm concerned that free speech on WP would be limited by any misunderstandings or warnings.

Fnord, I wish you just be yourself at least here on WP, even though I don't know about your real life well enough to say something about that.
If you suddenly changed into a soft citizen..hell...no..no..no that's not going to be good.

The fact this happened I find very disturbing, because I am a member too since 2011 and Fnord has always written in a direct and upright way, but the warnings were send because of an "increase in negativity on WP", so to me it is not logical at all that Fnord all of a sudden is the cause of an "increase in negativity on WP".
Fnord, I appreciate your upright posts, to me they are much easier to comprehend than long posts which are vague and full of insinuations that I do not understand.
Actually because of that I hardly post anymore.

Fnord why do you care? You have your wife, kids, a job, many good things on paper. Do they like you as you are?

I don't know if its possible to turn a reputation around, mud sticks etc.

I've lived much of my life out of sync with who I really am, and that way of being is not sustainable, or healthy.
If you have some bad habits, and it is those that are 'putting off everyone' you come in contact with, I think they can be unlearned without it altering your integrity.

We can all be arse-heads sometimes, well most of us, there are probably some exceptions.

Apparently a change is as good as a rest, so onwards and upwards, and forwards, and all that..........

Because I like being a person who is honest in the expression of his views. But what good is honesty if everyone around here thinks that you're just being negative and contentious?

Of course; but they know me personally. No one here does.

Bad habits? I don't smoke. I have a glass of beer or wine about once or twice a month. Porn is stupid. Drugs are out of the question (even if I wanted to do them, my company's government contracts require zero tolerance policies). I don't chase any women other than the Missus, either.

My honesty is one of my major stocks-in-trade. If I compromise that in one area - like posting on-line - then I may as well compromise it everywhere.

So what if being blunt and truthful make me unpopular? They can't hang me for it.

Then again, there was this guy from Galilee who spoke out against the religious leaders of His day, and look at what it got Him ... nailed to a cross ...

Perhaps Polya's method for problem-solving can be applied in this case, perhaps without the ultimate step as it is unnecessary for this circumstance.

You've completed the trivial step (identifying the problem) and the first step of understanding the problem.

Devise a plan to counter your contentious tendencies. When you've done that (it may take a while to develop a plan) carry out the plan.

By the way:

I have noticed you were being an arsewipe of late. Just remember, if you want to stir the s**t pot, you have to lick the spoon.

one can be honest without trampling on others' feelings. it's a tough skill to learn, but well worth the effort.

Note all the responses to this thread, not everyone thinks negatively of you, threads in the Haven usually have a low response count!
...I don't think you would have so many pleasant responses to your OP if you were still in troll hunter mode.

This.