Why do I even exist?

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I think you are a great person and that you deserve to be happy. I hope you are able to move past those bad memories and focus on what you enjoy.

I had another upsetting morning today. While at the car dealership to get my husband's tire changed, I became paranoid that our dog may eat my blank birth control pill because it is within her reach. I even went as far as playing Five Finger Fillet with a crayon instead of a knife, but my husband stopped me because it was giving him a headache. We continued to fight over this, until guilt overcomes me and I started crying and feeling bad for myself.

I don't even know why God created me. My mom claimed I was a planned pregnancy, but I think otherwise; I should have been aborted. Hell, I don't even deserve marriage! I hate my anger and sadness and wish they would disappear forever. I may increase my Lexapro, but I doubt it would help. And worse, now I carry and cuddle with my stuffed cat doll because it's the only other thing besides my husband that makes me happy anymore.

I think you should find a counselor or a therapist to talk to. In the meantime, I want you to tell yourself that you are a valuable and worthy person.

I don't even know what purpose I serve on this planet. I am mediocre in many of my talents at best.

Your purpose is to bring joy to the people who love you.

I'm sorry you hurting.

Yeah, right. I seemed to have either frustrated or pi**ed of everyone around me, including my husband; he even said that he is too busy for me and has problems of his own. So give me at least TEN reasons why I should stay on this planet.

You care for animals.

Your husband needs you emotionally

You're poetic

You're intelligent

Your family needs you

Your husband needs you physically

You can find a way out of the trap you put yourself in

You have the capacity to help others

If you desire kids, they need a mother

Because you are a viable person, and can get better

I agree with the advice to talk with a counselor.

Are you up to saying what your talents are? What you enjoy and what has sometimes made you feel special?

We all excel compared to some and are mediocre, or worse, compared to others.

This is your life. You deserve to feel and be appreciated. I can tell there are some things you have felt good about, can you focus there and say what they are?

Well, I am best at taking care of animals. I draw sometimes, but I'm not as good as I used to be, as my drawings look like something a preteen would draw. I used to like bowling and fishing, but I could never get my bowling score past 125, and where I'm at, it's either too hot or too cold to go fishing, despite living by a lake.

You wanted us to give 10 reasons. I gave 10 reasons.

I believe in those ten reasons.

I do, too.

My husband and I talked, and he feels bad for getting frustrated at me, so all is well.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

And all kinds of art can be beautiful. Walking around a modern art exhibit might help you see what you draw in a whole new way. Would you be able to enjoy doing that? Or even looking online or in a book?

I can try.

I remember being sad and Kraftie suggested this to me, or maybe asked what would make me happy and I said that would and he encouraged me to do it and you know......he was right

If your husband says he loves you then he loves you.

That means you are the best person for him and it's up to you to accept that if you love him.

Try not to use you negative feelings about yourself to cause a rift between you both and accept help when it is offered to you.

Of course, from time to time people are going to be too busy to focus their attentions on your problems but that doesn't mean that they care any the less.

You are much loved WitchsCat.