Got accused of stealing from a shop

Post Reply New Topic

Please don't let this dis-inspire you from shopping, especially since you love it so much.

It probably won't happen again. It hadn't happened before, right?

They didn't just commit a mistake, they went out of their way to humilate you in front of everyone. They didn't do it quietly, it was totally unprofessional and they purposely made you a target. It was bullying, in other words. And how comes that assistant didn't tell them about it, or stopped what they were doing when they were shouting at you? She would have heard the commotion, and she could have easily stopped it.

IMO you were purposely made a target, and I think you should report them. That is not the way to treat a citizen, it is bullying and unnecessary. Or even report it to the local newspaper, so that anyone who read it would realise that it wasn't your fault.

The shop assistant who served me was busy and had a box in her hands, and put the box down to serve me, then picked the box up and went off into the stock room. It was one of the other shop assistants who spotted me and chased after me.

I still has made me feel really put off shopping. So if a shop assistant doesn't see you get served, they can assume you didn't pay and falsely accuse you of stealing?

For a girl with social and general anxiety disorder, this is a big and scary thing to have happen to you. That night the incident kept repeating round and round in my head; the woman's angry voice, all the people staring at me with accusing eyes, the fact that I was innocent....

I haven't been out since it happened, and it was 2 days ago.

I hope you will soon see that what occurred in the past....which was no accusations...will probably be what will occur in the future.

Please don't let that incident ruin your life.

I've been accused, too, and felt similarly to you. The key is to not let them keep you down. Go about your business, which is your right as an adult person.

Most people are preoccupied with their own lives, but where I come from people are pretty judgmental. Where this happened luckily was a big place and not my hometown, although I will be moving there soon. So I'm hoping the passers-by who did witness the incident won't recognize me again. But it was probably a story told at many people's dinner tables that night. "Hey you never guess what I saw happen today! This girl stole something from a shop, and the shop assistant went after her! Dumb b***h, thought she would get away with it. I hope she gets what's coming to her!"

I mean, if I were a passer-by witnessing a shop assistant yelling at someone that they'd stole an item, I'd probably think they really had. Nobody was looking at the woman, just at me.

If it makes you feel better, just remember that Essex is full of thick people.

Also, after about a week, people are unlikely to recognise you.

If this is a big store in a town you don't live in, they will forget you. I would say this with 99% certainly.

You might just learn from this experience, to speak up for yourself when falsely accused. That would actually be a good outcome, and should reduce your future anxiety.

As to whether you should take any legal action, that's up to you. A lot of times, getting involved with legal action can keep the emotional investment high, when it might be preferable to "just get over it."

There is something you can do, though, that is a middle ground. You could make an appointment to meet with the shop's owner or manager, bring your boyfriend or a friend for emotional support, and then explain calmly what happened and how badly it made you feel. The manager can then either offer you a nice credit on future merchandise, or refund the cost of the pillow, or take disciplinary action against the employee, or at least better train the employees.

One time I bought some corned beef at a deli counter and when I got home, parts of the meat were green. GREEN. There is absolutely no way that the clerk could have packaged that up without seeing it. So I marched right back to the store and asked to see the manager, and stated what happened. At a minimum that clerk needed retraining, and to be honest, probably deserved to be canned. The manager agreed with me. I felt vindicated that I was listened to. This story is a little different than yours, because I wasn't blamed for anything, but I felt very wronged, all the same.

It's nice to hear that since your boyfriend and you got together, you don't need any special interest to soothe yourself! That's great. And by the way, Joe, what's going on with your mother?

Best wishes.

^ Often these things are an outcome of poor management. Sometimes management blames their own irresponsibility on their employees. Not all the time, but sometimes.

I have a history of doing things and saying things and not being aware of it so when I got accused of stealing a VHS tape when I was arrested, I got scared and was doubting myself thinking what if I had really done it and wasn't aware of it. If someone had decided to plant a VHS tape in the car I drove, I would have believed I done it and I would have been too scared to go in another store probably or I would be OCD checking myself every time I leave to be sure I have nothing on me.

Please forgive me.

But I don't believe talking to management about it would solve it, since it's a big store. If it were a small "mom and pop" type store, then I might consider it.

This is because, since this was a large chain store, the incident is not recalled by anybody. If one "assists" these retail people with recall, there's a tendency to bring unwanted attention to one's self.

This store probably gets hundreds, if not thousands, of customers per day.

I believe this just might draw attention to her a little too much. People in retail are extremely paranoid these days, and might make false and unwanted assumptions about the OP.

I understand there's a moral basis for this. And I understand this could aid the OP in achieving a measure of peace of mind. But in the reality of the world, I don't believe speaking about the incident to management would be to her benefit.

I didn't mean the store was big, I meant the town it was in is a big place, more like a city. The store itself is just a small shop, selling bed linen, towels, cushions, that sort of thing.

A lot of people I know would retaliate and not let them get away with humiliating them in public like that. That's how they get so far in life. A bit like when my mum rang the doctors surgery almost crying in pain with kidney stones (she didn't know what the pain was at the time) and the receptionist just hung up on her with no concern to get her seen by a doctor. But, like me, my mum is very passive and would rather let people get away with such stuff than to actually make them feel guilty and know they did something wrong.

It's a matter of principle.

Please understand, Joe.

Shoplifting is an absolute scourge.

I'm not saying what happened was right--it definitely was wrong--but think about what you would do if you were a store owner, and you've been the victim of shoplifting many times. You might easily make the same mistake they made.

Please go back to the store, and shop like nothing happened. I feel, in my heart, that this is the best solution. Who knows? Maybe somebody will personally apology to you for what happened.

If they start bitching, and accusing you....then I'd get really angry, and do some of the things others have suggested. But I'd do it legally.