Beat Me, kick me, make me feel so cheap that I kill myself

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I lived with this black guy and his mother briefly 3 years ago. His mother is now in a nursing home, in the advanced stages of Parkinson's. He threw me out of her house because, In his puny mind, I was not giving her adequate care. In actuality, she was doing a lot better with me than with any other caretakers that came in before or after me. Of course, he and his brothers didn't show her any kind of respect, which I saw firsthand. People with ailments like Parkinson's, from my experience, tend to do better when shown some kindness, dignity and respect.

What frustrates me with this guy is one moment, he'll give you the shirt off his back, the next moment, he wants to leave you in the 'hood, so the gangbangers take you out. I keep hinting and telling him, get off the booze, get off the Mary Jane, and get off the cigarettes, and maybe, just maybe, most people would stop treating you like a jackass. If he would shut his lips for once and let me explain what's going on, even if the explanation is a simple I don't know, instead of forcing me to be a yes man, you won't get any resentment from me. If he would stop dumping all his responsibilities on me, stop bitching about the way I drive MY car, quit demanding an accounting of every penny he gives me for my services and how I spend it (I caught hell from him yesterday for asking for money, after he gave me $27.00 for my trouble on Friday, $20.00 of which I put gasoline in my tank, and $5.00 I spent on 2 loaves of bread, 2 bottles of fish oil capsules and 18 medium eggs at the dollar store Friday night. I had to run him down close to the Maryland line yesterday to do yard work for one of his clients, only to find out this client's yard is mostly brown, due to the lack of rain and the heat, let alone trying to fix whatever he screwed up on his Android phone. I'm a Mac-head. Android gives me fits every time I deal with it, especially sine the last time I had to fix it was when he was looking at porno sites and his phone contracted the FBI Porno Scam Trojan. That Trojan screwed up his phone so badly that starting the phone in any mode could not get past the FBI Porno Warning when it got to the desktop and lock up. He ended having me send his phone back to the manufacturer. He has cell service through Boost, which buys their network and voice services from Sprint (which is slightly better than T-Mobile, but not by much). Since Sprint uses CDMA technology to implement 4G LTE, I assumed the manufacturer did not use a SIM card. So i sent the phone back minus the SD expansion card that I installed for him. How was I to know that Sprint and their MVNO's now use SIM cards to implement CDMA? It took another 2 weeks to get his phone back up and running, but he still rubs it in my face, "and you call yourself a computer expert? YOU DON'T KNOW F!CKING SH!T ABOUT ANYTHING, YOU FAT MOTHER-F!CKING SONOFAB!TCH!" It's almost like living back home with my mother when she was younger (Mom was abused herself physically, mentally, and verbally by her father, who saw action during WWII, and was the town drunk.)

Like I said, I've been trying to ditch him, but he knows where I live, and he's the type that will hunt you down like a dog if you really piss him off!

Even though one of my roommates is a PA State Trooper, he can't do anything unless there is a PFA filed, and even then, my roommate is on patrol a good bit and is seldom home. Besides the Trooper will be moving out at the end of the year, since his probationary period will be up, and he'd like to get back to Metro Philly, to be with his wife and baby daughter.

Ok, Meister, I don't have much time but I read both long posts on your dilemma with the stalkerish "won't take no for an answer" guy. My first thought (limited time), is: have you considered like royally f*****g up something he has you do? Like repeatedly? My point is that if you make yourself less appealing, he may move on, unless of course he's into it for the power trip, in which case you need to smack him in the jaw somehow (not necessarily physical violence, but something aggressive towards him). I'll probably be back tomorrow with different advice when I have time to think it through, but I'd love to see you get the one up on that guy and I'm willing to help you brainstorm some ideas-- I think when you've ridden yourself of that individual you'll feel a whole lot better even with the other issues.

I agree; make yourself undesirable to this guy. He's an abusive, sadistic, bully and it will only escalate.

Can you make it so that you are unable to drive the truck? That seems to be his main interest in you.

I melted down on him a few times, it didn't do any good. The truck is in my name. I never wanted the damn thing in my name, but I was still trying to get off psychotropics when that happened. I cancelled the insurance on the truck, then got into an accident while parked at the construction site where he works (under the table.). He on SSDI himself for sciatica. He keeps it up, I'll report him, and his employer to the IRS, SSA, PA Dept. of Revenue, the York county tax office, and York City zoning office, since his employer is using undocumented workers on a government-financed building rehab project.

In addition, I'm sorely tempted to call Probation, and having them pick him up as he's consuming a six pack of beer every night, in direct violation of the terms of his release. At least, he'll be spending 3 years in either Dallas, Camp Hill or Graterford state prison for violating his probation.

or "beat me, kick me, make me so intent on removing you that i will kill you" is another outlook. that would be mine.

Sounds like you have lots of interdependence in your life, some of which makes you feel stymied; hence, the feeling of hopelessness and futility.

You also have people trying to beat you down, for whatever reason.

Sounds like you have lots of material which can be used to write a really great novel. Please take that as a compliment. I'm too much of a coward to acquire that amount of great material.

It is apparent there is some sort of great talent in you which you are not utilizing, for whatever reason. Maybe you feel the talent is irrelevant to your present life. I've met many people who feel this way.

I, myself, would love to have that talent. I, myself, would like it if you could utilize that talent in some way in the future.

Frankly, you seem like an interesting person whom I would enjoy talking to. You probably have lots in that mind, and lots of experience.

Would I be able to directly help you out of your dilemmas? Probably not, at this point.

But I am able, at least, to be a receptive "ear." But no matter how much I wish it, I'm not a man with many answers to many things. Only some answers to some things.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 25 Jul 2016, 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ok, Meister, you have the tools at your disposal to rid yourself of this cancer...please use one of them!

I read all the posts on here and I'm still perplexed. Q. When he comes to your door why do you open it?

The reason is probably more complex than we, on this Forum, can ever imagine.

Why I ever got married is probably more complex than I can ever imagine.

I think maybe he finally got the message. With all the storms we had in the past week, I took him, and a pair of ladies done to the southern end of the county to the one elderly gentleman he does yard work and general maintenance for, to see if his property needs mowed. While it doesn't need mowed, it certainly needs maintenance, since the high winds with the storms that have been moving through here for the past week have taken down a few treetops. The next day, I have to pick him up to get back down to the southern end of the county. As usual, he has at least 50 different errands to run before he gets to work (which annoys me to no end when he does that.). Anyhow, the last errand he runs is to get a six pack of beer, cigarette papers and tobacco. He's as usual, bitching about my driving. If ever there's an aggressive driver, it's him. We stop at the beer distributor. He's in the store for about 15 minutes, and I'm getting more disgusted by the minute with him. He gets back in the car, and I try to back out of the lot, and nearly back into another car, since 1) my vision was blocked and 2) the lot frond a major highway. He goes ballistic on me for not looking, then starts up with the stupid ass fat motherf!cker idiot harangue. By this time, I'm absolutely tired of his smart mouth. I pulled the car over and told him 1) GET THE F!CK OUT OF MY CAR AND WALK and 2)Find someone else to chauffeur you from now on. He then demands I pay him back every cent he paid me. I told him again to go f!ck himself. By this time, it was raining, and he here, stop at the storage unit so he could get his air conditioner, then take him home. I did as he asked, he paid me 15.00 (it costs ne more than that round trip to the southern end of the county), and tells me my name will be off the truck by the end of this week.

What made matters even worse is I got pulled over with him this past Friday by the city Police, since both tail lights are out on the truck. If you guessed that I'm the one who hashed to pay to get it fixed, YER RIGHT, since I have 5 days to get it fixed and inspected by a state inspection garage or by the police. The back of the truck was wrecked, so body work has to be done in order to fit the new taillight assembly properly. After that, (and 150.00 to do the job is cheap, as far as I'm concerned), I'm telling him have the title ready to get my name off it. After that's done, he's getting one last f!ck you, and never contact me again for any reason.

As if this wasn't bad enough, I get a letter from NELNET, who was servicing my student loans. They are telling me I'm in default in 30 days with a demand to pay back the $75,000.00 I owe them. I called their number this afternoon when I got the letter and asked what's going on, since I sent them the paperwork signed by my primary care physician at the time, that I was permanently disabled. That paperwork was sent over 4 years ago. They checked through my files, and they told me the doctor never signed the paperwork. EXCUSE ME? The doctor signed the paperwork in front of me. I told them I've had a few other diagnoses given to me since then (namely colitis, vasuclitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Calculi in the kidneys, and PTSD). I got an appointment with my internal medicine specialist later today, so I guess I'm going to have to contact the urologist, my psychiatrist and psychologist and the hospitals for all my records for the past 5 years. And you wonder why I want to kill myself?

why give those people the satisfaction? stick around and continue to be a thorn in their side just for the satisfaction of it!

Yep...you have to get those signed.

I have student loan problems myself.

But why did they wait 4 years to notify me of this fact?

Because they're bureaucratic idiots....but you know that already!

You should be able to get the loans forgiven, or at least deferred.

You have to keep on their butts, though, and you have to be thorough in this, too.

I would literally call the cops every time I see this guy. Don't care about the risks. I've been used like this before, and I'll never let it happen again. I would rather this jerk friend of yours came and beat me up, put me in the hospital one good time, than to allow month after month of what you described here. I had a lot of trouble reading your posts, but I tried to anyway, because I want to see an end to this. Will you consider calling the cops every time he comes over? I understand people get out of jail very easily, but just call the cops over and over again until he stops coming around. He'll eventually get tired of the hassle and pick somebody else. Which, sure as your born, he has other victims! You've described a career criminal, and if he were violent, you would be dead by now. Period. I'm not joking around, I've seen it a hundred times, and I've been the victim for half of those hundred.
I'm not even clear what he needed you for, other than you having a big heart, and people like him enjoy hurting people with big hearts. He can get rides from fifty other people, and probably had that option all along, except for his apparent joy with messing with you. Get a restraining order. Take action against this. I already lost the best job of my life because of a guy like this, and he's still out there doing it to somebody else now. Seriously, how have you not reported all of this to the police? He's using marijuana, right? That by itself is usually enough to get somebody thrown in prison. Not just jail - county prison. It's how our justice system works. Report him again and again. Even if he says he quit the marijuana, what you describe here shows that he probably is lying. These are the repetitive behaviors of a person on drugs. Police know about that. Why do you think that stuff is still criminalized? You're in PA? I didn't know marijuana was legal in PA.. Just saying.

I don't think marijuana is legal in Pennsylvania.

It's decriminalized to a certain extent in New York State, but still illegal.