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My mom desperately wants me to be straight and white

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Spiderpig
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26 Jul 2016, 10:59 pm

Tiankay wrote:
No, thats not right. Their house their rules applies to behaviour, dos and donts at home. But you cannot force a sexuality on you child thats not his/hers.


Sexual behavior is behavior, too. But I'll concede that, rather than trying to change your child's sexual orientation, it's much easier simply not to let them have sex or romantic relationships, thus rendering it moot. If they want adult experiences, they'll have to live entirely like adults first, and that means moving out and earning their keep without needing anything from you anymore.

Tiankay wrote:
Its wrong, and makes you a sh***y person if you try that...


Parents have every right to do it and noöne is going to stop them. Also, before arguing about what makes someone a sh***y person or not, their children should really know better than to offend them.

Simply put, critical thinking itself is a luxury that has to be dearly earned, and you certainly don't earn it while you depend on your parents, since they have every moral right to dictate what you think with a brain they brought into this world and are still helping feed or feeding entirely.


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DevilKisses
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26 Jul 2016, 11:50 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Well..White is the priviledged race, and straight is the priviledged sexual orientation in most situations. Not better. But with higher status.


It would be nice if your mom were less overbearing and would be more tolerant of you seeking your own identity. But its not a mystery why she would pick the higher status race, and the higher status sexual orientation to wish on you.

But here is the thing:if you had been born into a family of White bread WASP north americans with blue eyes your parents wouldnt make a fetish out of how "White" you look. Your "Whiteness" would be taken for granted. I agree with you that your mom does seem to be making a fetish out of it. And she wouldnt do that if both you and her were not actually of Mesitizo South American background, and were not of mixed blood.


And its possible that she has issues of her own, and that she projecting her own insecurities about her own heritage onto you. You might try to point out that your projecting nose probably comes from the Incas of the Andes, and that you have Asian/Amerind shaped eyes.

If your mom looks like you you might wanna point out the similar non european origins of her physiogamy as well (tit for tat). Lol!

But even if you had been born into a WASP family like mine (even a liberal one) your mom might still be nudging you toward heterosexuality.

My mom already has alternate explanations for my eyes and nose. She says my eyes come from her mom. She told me her mom is "purely Spanish." She isn't purely Spanish, but she was clearly trying to find a European origin to my eye shape. For my nose shape, she blamed it on my Basque blood. I just give up on this. I think my mom will fetishize my "whiteness" forever and I can't do anything about it.


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Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


DevilKisses
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26 Jul 2016, 11:51 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Tiankay wrote:
No, thats not right. Their house their rules applies to behaviour, dos and donts at home. But you cannot force a sexuality on you child thats not his/hers.


Sexual behavior is behavior, too. But I'll concede that, rather than trying to change your child's sexual orientation, it's much easier simply not to let them have sex or romantic relationships, thus rendering it moot. If they want adult experiences, they'll have to live entirely like adults first, and that means moving out and earning their keep without needing anything from you anymore.

Tiankay wrote:
Its wrong, and makes you a sh***y person if you try that...


Parents have every right to do it and noöne is going to stop them. Also, before arguing about what makes someone a sh***y person or not, their children should really know better than to offend them.

Simply put, critical thinking itself is a luxury that has to be dearly earned, and you certainly don't earn it while you depend on your parents, since they have every moral right to dictate what you think with a brain they brought into this world and are still helping feed or feeding entirely.

Is this really appropriate for the haven? Go back to PPR.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


Tiankay
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27 Jul 2016, 12:30 am

Please excuse me spiderpig, but

What, the, f**k ?! !

I really dont want to mock you here but apart from living on the wrong planet, you seem to live in the wrong century aswell. Critical thinking is a luxury that has to be earned? Are you even serious?! Critical thinking is one of the very basic/core life skills a parent should teach their kid from as early on as possible! You aint raising a slave here.

And no, they dont have the right to dictate what a chiild thinks. I dont know wich ethical principles you base your opinion on, but i dont even find the right words to describe how twisted that opinion is. They have brought it into this world, but they dont OWN that brain. You are basicly treating a child like a product that has to function to an owners expectations here. A child isnt a robot, and if treating your child like one, you probably shouldnt have gotten a kid in the first place. Financial or whatever support isnt an excuse here, they bought into that when they decided to have unsecured sex back then. Seriously, if we werent on WP - a place where people usually are pretty serious, i wouldnt even believe you are not trolling right now...

Oh and how is sex an adult only thing? Where i live the legal age for consentual sex between underagers is 14 years. Dont mind my sarcasm here, but locking your child up on important life expierences REALLY sounds like a good idea. This one might turn out well for that adolescents mental health. /sarcasm end Small Hint: It wont...

I am hereby excusing for anything i have said that might be offensive, but please dont ever have kids. I cannot comprehend this, so im out of this thread now...

Peace
TK