how do you move on if unable to apologize?

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I once told a good online friend a joke that he apparently was offended by and he stopped talking to me. I apologized and after a few weeks, he acknowledged my apology but I don't think he ever really forgave me, and he went off on his way after that. At first, I was very upset by all of this, because I thought he was being too harsh with me, as I would not tell a joke I think someone would be offended by, and he was a self professed Christian, and Christians are supposed to be understanding and forgiving. But I eventually came to realize that if he were willing to end our relationship over an unintentionally offensive joke, and his religion, which he professed to be a strict adherent of, wasn't enough to convince him to forgive me in light of my apology, then he probably had other things going on with him.

That was many years ago, and while I think it's unfortunate things went the way they did, I'm not longer upset about it, and I've decided that I don't want to be friends with someone who would act in such a manner anyway.

Thank you for sharing your experience, Chronos. Perhaps, there are some parallels with regard to our experiences, apart from the fact that my friend is still extremely important to me. I have wanted to apologize and explain where I'd gone wrong, because, he would then, know that I understand him, and in turn, would not have said what I had. I care about him, and want to know he is ok. I have wanted to fix my mistake, not to re-establish friendship, or for my own benefit in any way, but rather, I want him to feel understood and happy. I have hoped to have closure in a positive, kind, loving way. But, the opportunity for that has passed me by.

that opportunity passed HIM by when he became abusive. for your own safety, please avoid all further contact in any and all circumstances for any reason.

I read this thread through twice, and I can't see where the party was abusive, other than by distancing. Did I miss something? Distancing is a legitimate option if one has been insulted or otherwise disappointed.

Personally, I hope the person comes around, thinks about it a little bit, and re-establishes contact with Britte.

I can't see where Britte did anything really egregious.

I HATE misunderstandings! I almost had one earlier with somebody whom I care about. I was able to nip it in the bud.

being a hermit keeps one away from 99% of those nasty misunderstandings.

You are a very smart, creative and accomplished person, Britte.

I really hope there will come a time when the misunderstanding will be resolved.

That's what I hope for all the misunderstands which have plagued me throughout my life.

I have not been abused in any way.

Last edited by Britte on 01 Sep 2016, 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i misunderstood, britte. sorry. i no longer have the option to delete the comment. i would if i could. i take the entire responsibility for the misunderstanding.

Thank you, for trying, cathylynn. I accept your apology.

Indeed, a b. I am very familiar with this coping mechanism. What is the longest stretch of time, that you have isolated yourself, if you recall, and, if I may ask...

generally, I must pry myself outta my hole once per week to get groceries, and once every two weeks for my square pegs aspie meetups. if I didn't have to get groceries then it'd be much longer.

It was not a misunderstanding. It was the lack of knowledge that I possessed. I have, since, been reading and learning a lot. Thank you for your kind words, kk.

Interesting. : )

generally, I must pry myself outta my hole once per week to get groceries, and once every two weeks for my square pegs aspie meetups. if I didn't have to get groceries then it'd be much longer[/quote]

that is me.

^ holy smokes, that is hilarious