aspergers and death

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Women always suffer in this society.They don't even get diagnosis for autism and such serious disorders

When anxiety/resistance to change hits me I want to die.
But aside of that I don't want to die.

I am slightly afraid though I might kill myself in affect one day. Huge changes make me see nothing in front of me and it hurts so much I think death is easier then the unknown. I know it passes as soon as I get used to the change but before that happens I feel miserable and it's hard to believe everything is going to turn out right.

Truth is i can function very well in real world as long as my relationships and emotions remain intact

i tried to break up multiple times with my boyfriend in the past.The reason being i had intense emotions for him.I know many hurtful things which i said to him were a reflection of my own insecurities

I've navigated through three cloying and brooding storms of existential crisis in my life (and I suppose there'll be many more), I tend to gravitate toward macabre shades almost every day in what I ponder and absorb, I don't see any point in skirting around them or rejecting the very starkly printed horizon that lies ahead of each of us. I am quite a chilled and optimistic dude but I always retain my hard stony edge. I remember an Asimov quote I think it was, 'life is testing (no it's ''pleasant'' he said I just looked up but I like mine better lol), death is peaceful, it's the transition that's troublesome'.

...Uh........... I suppose not .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Komm, suesser Tod (Come Sweet Death). (Since I can no longer handle life.)

I think death is an illusion. Guess what? So you kill yourself and you never really die. Ontop of all of this, you can witness all the damage you left behind from your actions. Or you get stuck in you're death state and relive the act over and over again for eternity, or possibly reincarnate to learn your lessons all over again on this crappy Earth.

Always stopped me, this is certainly my last life here on this planet. Hahaha, thank you but no thank you. There are no shortcuts just remeber that,

it has been said that people who find themselves backed into the corner that is suicide, have not figured out how to live in their lifetime, they bit off more than they could chew in the present incarnation. that was me also, I definitely bit off more than I could chew with this life, as basic and mundane as it seems to the outsider who fails to see my addlements from the inside and how they make living a giant PITA. but back in the day, the caution in "hamlet's soliloquy" gave me enough pause to gain some knowledge that I needed in order to make sense of life. I've tried both the active method [muzzle of rifle in mouth, interrupted] and the passive [beastly diet, "accident-prone"-ness, not taking care of myself]. I long fantasized about heaven, what it would be like to be totally free of earthy worries. from doing much metaphysical study I've determined that the good stuff is waiting for me in a higher dimension but that I must stay the course for it to be there for me. my big lesson in this incarnation is that I had to learn how to love me no matter what. only when I accomplished that could I be any good for any other humans.

auntblabby, it's interesting that you mention the basic and mundane. I find when I'm in those really dark places where death starts to look attractive, it's the basic and mundane things that help me get through. It could be something as simple as changing clothes. Movements bring states which bring their own thoughts with them. And those thoughts often cheer me up. (Grief being the only exception... ...that takes a little more time).

Even after failing to take my own life on two occasions, suicide is still a rather pervasive thought on my mind.

My eight years as an adult have taught me the following:

- I am too socially inept to find work in any industry.
- I cannot relate to other human beings, even those who I have known my entire life.
- I do not possess the passion nor the intellect to try and learn new skills.

Those of you who can function in the real world should be thankful. I am too neurologically crippled to lead any kind of meaningful life. Though it's incredibly difficult, suicide remains a viable option for me.

I suspect and fear that I will be ensnared in a kind of limbo my entire life. Too afraid to die, yet incapable of living. A stalemate.

^^^tell it, bro!

death can't be avoided in my case

Death can't be avoided in anyone's case.