01 Oct 2016, 2:02 pm
Uncle wrote:
Hey Rachel 
i do hope your doing a little better? As Kraftie has mentioned he has now gone beyond the boundaries you have set and as much as he is seeming sincere he is now taking a passive aggressive approach. Also maybe he sees a little of you in himself, this is typical Jung theory of falling for a reflection of yourself, in other words he sees you in him and can relate so in essence is falling for himself ( any jung experts? don't think i worded that one too well! lol) Add to that due to his age his testosterone levels will be pretty high and will be acting out according to his body chemistry. At this point he seems to be thinking more about himself ( maybe without realising it) and using close to gaslighting techniques to try to win you over. You have done remarkably well to at least let him know of your position at this period in time. I commend you for that, it is not an easy thing to do at all for almost anyone whatever spectrum you are on. Just stick to your boundaries and rules you are making for yourself, only you will know what works for you and if its not respected then giving a wide birth no matter how nice he is is something you need for yourself.
i do hope your doing a little better? As Kraftie has mentioned he has now gone beyond the boundaries you have set and as much as he is seeming sincere he is now taking a passive aggressive approach. Also maybe he sees a little of you in himself, this is typical Jung theory of falling for a reflection of yourself, in other words he sees you in him and can relate so in essence is falling for himself ( any jung experts? don't think i worded that one too well! lol) Add to that due to his age his testosterone levels will be pretty high and will be acting out according to his body chemistry. At this point he seems to be thinking more about himself ( maybe without realising it) and using close to gaslighting techniques to try to win you over. You have done remarkably well to at least let him know of your position at this period in time. I commend you for that, it is not an easy thing to do at all for almost anyone whatever spectrum you are on. Just stick to your boundaries and rules you are making for yourself, only you will know what works for you and if its not respected then giving a wide birth no matter how nice he is is something you need for yourself.Hey
! I can't tell if I'm doing any better yet, I'm working on it though! I'm familiar with the Jungian theory you brought up, I think that goes a long way to explaining his behaviour. I can understand it in a way, especially as he is consciously trying to interpret my mind from ND to something he can relate to. I have to say as well that there is probably an urge to 'look after' me among a certain type of guy, especially when I'm upset; I think it brings out the chivalry in them 
. It really hasn't been easy to let him know how I feel about our relationship, so it's a bit of a blow that he hasn't taken no for an answer 
. I actually have a pretty strong character underneath all my issues, so I have no problem standing firm and keeping my distance from him; in fact, the more he persists, the easier it gets. However, I do find the stress to be very wearing, as this thread shows 
.Uncle wrote:
( This is where kraftie comes in and translates what i say into one singular articulate sentence that you can understand! hehehe )
Kraftie does have a gift for that
, but as always your advice made total sense to me, thank you 
01 Oct 2016, 2:22 pm
Sweet im glad your making some head ground, as you mentioned he definitely seems like the 'Rescuer' (victim , persecutor triangle).. People can only help and support. Our own internal mechanisms can truly only be understood by ourselves. He just hasn't learnt those boundaries yet and the triangle just ends up going in an infinite loop. If anything i think its just down to inexperience on his behalf, and sometimes the best intentions can actually be the most destructive. You will both be learning from this experience. 
Last edited by Uncle on 01 Oct 2016, 3:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
01 Oct 2016, 3:24 pm
01 Oct 2016, 3:34 pm
01 Oct 2016, 3:40 pm
01 Oct 2016, 3:58 pm
Haha well I am a catch lol But seriously, I feel bad for him too, I just want him to be able to move on. We'd barely started a relationship anyway (I didn't even know we were 'dating'). Gosh this is all so complicated 
