I don't know whats wrong with me

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What's havering

The proclaimers song, five hundred miles can answer your question.

The answer is also 42, but that's a given.

Hitchhickers fan by any chance?

Indeed.

So long and thanks for all the pish.

Hey c'mon smudge, that was a little below the belt and a bit of a dirrect attack! It doesnt seem that the issue is of the n ice lady getting out and about, its about people not politely letting her know what is wrong.. The whole idea of giving people advice on here is not to get angry when they dont take your advice ( as thats like expecting people to conform to your ideologies!) . She may have already thought about these areas and know certain things like dating sites are not her cup of tea, so to speak ... Remember many of us deal with the same situations! We sometimes may come across in a way that general society might think as a little different but rarely do they explain what it is because they dont want to feel they are attacking or possibly putting someone down so they avoid explaining all together which isnt helpful for someone on the spectrum as sometimes we need to know so we dont keep making the same mistake over and over... By giving advice and then directly attacking the person because they dont feel its part of their personality to take on said advice is NOT an excuse to attack the individual! Please try not to do this, it really helps no-one!

Thought so

Oh, do i upset you in anyway? As doesn't phish mean annoyance or aggravation? ( also realise that its in Hitchhikers but as you used it here wasn't too sure if you were trying to say something or not!? hehe )

Last edited by Uncle on 07 Oct 2016, 8:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It was just a joke.

The dolphins in HHGTTG say 'so long and thanks for all the fish.'

White-Knighting is so autistic in regard to smudge and hurtloam, learnt from experience here dude.

Ah thanks, glad i haven't upset you

As far as the other two ladies go, wasnt trying to be a knight or anything of sorts, just saw a personal attack and acted upon it. For all i know smudge may have not realized she made an attack and by saying something might allow her to self reflect on such future actions ( which in part is the point of said post ). If she did know she was insulting then i think she just needs to tone it down to a level that doesnt involve upsetting, insulting and attacking others

I'm literal. I don't like it when people ask for advice, or say they want help, when they actually don't want any, and they take it out on me. I see it around me all the time...on here, and IRL, and it's one of my pet hates about humans. In my ideal world everyone would be forced to confront their inner selves and explore them. The whole world would spin faster and everything would massively advance. But then I suppose people would end up rigidly sticking to the rules regarding open-mindedness, and it would all become ironic and everyone close-minded. Every subject seems to encounter that problem when rules are laid on.

I see what you are trying to say, however as for myself if i do post a thread about wanting some advice is because i truly am wanting to see peoples personal opinions for a variety of reasons... So it is rather unfair to generalize all persons in the manner you have just expressed as we have shown with myself that is not the case and therefore holds credence against your argument that no one posting in these forums is looking for help, as many many people have openly admitted that advice expressed on here has been of benefit. That is a rather illogical statement. Even if it were to be true does that then give you the right to air your own inner frustrations out on others in a form of attack? Also to some extent i agree with your statement that in a perfect world we all should look inwardly and look and accept our mistakes so maybe by following your own philosophy you can maybe understand your response is in some way contradictory to your own beliefs as i have pointed out through an observation how your good self went on the attack due to your own inner frustration, but then that is upto you to decide whether you wish to look inside yourself and admit to the wrong doing you made and if not shows in a big way your own beliefs are not matching up to your own actions, but that is just my observation of which i politely pointed out. There is no warrantable explanation for such a response i was originally pointing to, so you can either accept the observation to be what it is or be in denial and convince yourself otherwise... It just doesn't help the situation for anyone involved by attacking others out of frustration or individual ideologies. It doesn't make sense to what pertain to be your own belief system. Or is it a matter of do as i say and not as i do?

( all said with love )

Hurtloam is the healing clay from the Unbeliever series.

I recently had a very good friend suggest online dating and she didn't understand when I wasn't interested.

Online dating often relies on one interaction to form the basis for further dates. That really doesn't work for me.

Most of my girlfriends have been women that I have known for awhile, but I have to be in a situation where I have a wide circle of acquaintances because it is very easy for me to isolate.

When I was younger people didn't want to be my friend because I was different, but now I find that I don't have many friends because it takes to much effort and most of them are not interesting enough to bother with.

But one person's advice isn't always going to be appropriate for the other person. Please don't take offence when the other person doesn't take your particular advice.

I can see that you are wanting to help people here and it probably feels very frustrating when you don't understand why your own advice was knocked back, but you have to realise that everyone's circumstances are different.

I think this is actually an issue a lot of aspies face. They rub people up the wrong way when they have a very definite idea and can see clearly that they think an idea is right, but other people don't agree. They feel so strongly that the idea is right that they feel confused and angry when other people have a different perspective.

It falls under the category of theory of mind. Just because one thing works for you, that doesn't mean it's right for everyone.

Sometimes no one is right or wrong it's just a matter of perspective.

The Scottish have a very rich language.

Meaning of haver

As an English person, it doesn't matter how much time I've spent in Scotland there's always new words to learn.

The user name was a toss up between hurtloam and aliantha. I like hurtloam because to the untrained eye it sounds negative, but it's actually about healing. We can be different people inside and what others see or assume about us from the outside isn't always our real nature.

I'm not actually having problems meeting men in real life, I just can't keep them. I feel like meeting more people isn't the solution, I need to learn how to interact with men in a more open and friendly way.

I have been hurt a lot and I don't feel confident anymore which makes me more anxious and makes me more reserved.

I feel I'm building walls rather than breaking them down.

I think you're going to be OK. Don't force the issue and you may get a surprise! So it was in my case when I met my soul mate, 19 years ago and counting. Out of the blue, to an extent.

Someone out there will fall for you!

I have the opposite problem.

I struggle to meet women, but once I am in a relationship feel that I do pretty good.

I have an added issue of being face blind, so I miss all of the extra nonverbal communication. It makes dating tough.