Force yourself to get better

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Getting a job does help a lot. In your particular setting at the age of 15 I don't know, but jobs can be good morale builders.

Trouble with using your mind is that you have to find connections to reality.

You're really right, getting a job did help. Everybody at my first job must have had some intense conversations about me, because they all acted really weird around me, but they sort of adopted me as family after a year or two and I made some good friends.

I didn't know what I was supposed to be enforcing to myself with my mind I guess... I mostly go by my morals, which has led me to be pushed around and underspoken alot... but nowadays I stand up for myself more than I used to, although I still let myself get pushed around a bit but I have a much better idea of how the world works now. Even if I do get pushed around, I know that what goes around comes around...althought I'll fly off the handle when necessary

Racer, even my mother could be right sometimes. It's funny when it seems like someone is right and wrong at the same time.

She can be right about what she said, but it might not have applied, but she didn't really understand what was going on, and in that case her suggested solution worked anyway, which may or may not mean that she had a clue.

My brother said that to me all the time.

After I told him the fiasco with the f**ktards on the history trip, he knows of the bigger picture of how much I suffer. He wants to protect me, but can't, and he is very very hurt by the that.

Damn. I have to try catnip again. Wonder if I'm
allergic to it too now?

This isn't just limited to Aspies, trust me

I was a sloppy, angry teenager. Didn't give a damn about myself, let alone anyone else.

It's just FORCING yourself to change. It's hard, but unless you want to stay stuck in eternal stasis as you are - eternal misery...you HAVE to do it.

After all, the only way to fix something is to CHANGE it.

I started picking up after myself. Doing the dishes when asked, doing the washing when asked, cooking when asked. I went to uni, then got a job. No longer the sloppy, depressed, angry teenager...I'm a young woman with a career and a dang nice car!

Nothing gets fixed by sitting there whining about it. NOTHING. You've gotta go out there and make things better...even if that thing is you. Changing yourself is the hardest thing you can do, but it IS possible.

The ultimate target is of course relatively peaceful and comfortable coexistance with other people...trust me, the effort is worth it.

Just a note - my mom was wrong about so many things that I didn't even think to differentiate that she might be right about some things. I was maybe 30 before I figured that out! She was severely mentally ill, so when I say she was 'wrong' about things, I mean that very, very seriously. When you're dealing with a person who's delusional & paranoid 90% of the time, it's hard to look at what they're saying; it was for me, especially, as a kid. Of course, this is an extreme case; I know it's by no means a common situation.

But even so, we may disagree with a lot of the things our parents say, but still need to consider that some of what they say will be valid.

We need to consider that, but what do we do, really? What criteria do we use? My mother was pretty much that way and she wanted me to hang on every word that she had to say and the criteria was her own authority because she was my mother. Then of course there were all the incidents of convenient memory loss and the usual misunderstandings that a person has when dealing with a psychotic.

It took me over forty years to come even close to putting my feet on the ground with a set of what seem like really obvious basic ideas for dealing with reality. Even when she was telling me something that was correct, even when I could admit that she might be right, it failed to be real. All of the other garbage removed the worthwhile stuff from its correct setting. It also corrupted the mental processes that I would have used to evaluate it.

Well, that's the problem. It's a lot easier said than done, and, for me, was obviously impossible. What she said had little if any plausibility for me.

Plausibility would make a lot of difference. I think the signal to noise ratio is the worst problem. Parents who give clear and consistent messages get their point across. If they keep giving contradictory information, all of it at crash priority and higher, they should expect what they get.

im sorry to hear that fresco, i had a stepdad that was exaclty like that. is there anyway you can get out of there?