I got bullied today and feel like I can't take much more

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Thank you everyone for your support in this.

And thank you Bea, also. It's gracious of you to give valuable input when yes, we don't get along very well. I appreciate your ideas and sharing of your experiences.

And yes you are right about it not being worth ending my life over this horrible man. Although, of course as it nearly always the case, it's not really just about this one person, he was more like the "one more straw" to the camel's back that makes me feel like just ending all of this stuff by ending me.

I learned something new today -- apparently this man has actually had me on his "s**t list" radar for some time, and I wasn't even aware. The problem is he's in a position of authority and could make me have to lose contact with some of the causes that are my only joy in life.

I have friends in the arena in which this is happening, and I've told them what happened, and they are on my side. They would be willing to stand by me if it came to anything.


Thank you again for everyone here being supportive. I'm struggling to deal well with this. I'm depressed and feeling shocked. Without saying anything too specific as I know things can come up in an internet search, he belongs to a group of officials (who also have power to arrest, detain or ban from an area) whom I had believed I had good relations with as I'm a part of the group who assists them in a community support capacity. Except I now realize from the further information I got from a friend today, this man is out to "run me out of town" figuratively speaking.

Why does he hate you?

I didn't at first know, but today when I learned that I've been on his radar before this, the friend who told me more about it suggested something that might be the reason.

Yet the ironic thing is, that certain thing too is something many of us as a group do which is in support of the officials and local laws. It's complicated but there may also be an element of his thinking the fact that we have to fill in means he may feel like we think he's not doing his job well.
I can't give more specifics as it's a very specific situation, rather than a generic work situation, for example, and will certainly come up on google. Even naming his job description would be something this man could find this discussion from.

I should have put this in Members Only perhaps.

This guy has just decided to pick on me -- but you know what....I don't know why that surprises me. This is the story of my life. I can be doing the same things as others but it's me who gets singled out by someone who wants to get mad about something.

If you can, just avoid the guy. Ignore the guy.

Maybe he'll move on to someone else.

The problem is that they do move on to others. I am usually unable to simple turn a blind eye to the abuse of anyone by others even if it is only ridicule. I am a part-time rodeo clown in a sense because I take on bullies so they won't continue abusing their intended targets. The funny thing is that the abusers really, really, don't like it when they get put under my magnifying glass. I have also been known to tell the abused victim to tell the abuser that I am the victim's cousin who sometimes visits the victim (close enough to know about future abuse, but not so close that they would expect to see me around). It works wonders for all concerned ... except the abuser.

I get what you mean. Abusers do deserve a taste of their own medicine.

And they deserve to get their butts kicked in.

But I sense the OP really wants to be left alone.

I like you.

I appreciate what the OP meant. When I get ridiculed by others, I do the same things.

But, despite being just 5'6" and 135 lbs., I was blessed with limited expressions (another autism sub-clinical comorbid). In fact, I have two expressions; a smile designed intentionally for the news media, and a scowl that could go head-to-head with Clint Eastwood. Now, my scowl is simply an alternative to smiling; it means nothing to me. When I am concerned: Scowl. When I am frightened: Scowl. When I am worried: Scowl. And, so on. People don't like it, and ask me if I am angry ... often!

Now, add to that imagery some well chosen "legalistic" words (from my years writing legislation) delivered in a whisper to some wannabe thug, and guess who pisses themselves and runs? Besides, I worry less about myself than the victims. I know enough about various self-defense tactics to be a lethal disaster to myself, but no one else knows that.

I suppose I am the human form of a yapping chihuahua.

I'm not sure if being a "yapping Chihuahua" would work for Birdie.

It would be nice if she were a hummingbird.

You have to go for what works for you.

AspieUtah, you have some unique abilities. And you use them well.

So does Birdie---but I'm not certain that your methodology would work for her

(though, if it happens to work, then I'd be glad to be proven wrong).

I'm even shorter than you (though considerably heavier). I wish your methodology would work for me; but I just can't pull it off.

I actually like your methodology. I like the comeuppance it produces.

AspieUtah, oh how I wish teleportation were real, as I need your impressive anti-bully services over here, lol! One of your Eastwood scowls and a few choice words in legalese sounds like just the ticket to get this guy whimpering like a puppy.

He does strike me as one of those people who push around easy targets and would crumble at a bit of some other energy giving pushback.

The person I ran into today who gave me further insight on this guy said he had already been "asking about me" weeks ago. This friend today seems to be on good terms with the man. He said he would stand up for me about this encounter the next time he sees him.

I asked him to be careful as that might make the guy even more intent on causing me grief. But my friend said he would just point out it was out of line and I'm an asset not a problem, type of thing.

The only nice part of all this is that all the people in this same community who I've told about this are upset, want to back me up, and have said "Everyone likes you"---- which has really surprised and humbled me and I appreciate that more than I can say. If this guy gets to hear from some of thes people he might realize I'm not just a lone target but that there's disapproval.

Same goes for you guys on here, I thank you all for being so kind.

I think it's great that people are willing to back you up, vouch for you, Birdie.

I do hope this increases your faith in Humanity (if not in certain people).

Yes, it's pleasantly surprised me that the people I told are on my side, as I've too often experienced a sense of having to struggle alone, one starts taking it for granted.

And to AspieUtah, check your PMs -- I value your advice tremendously, I hope you didn't misunderstand my attempt at humor with my genuine wish to teleport you over for one brief word with this guy.

No sarcasm intended, just genuine acknowledgment that you know how to say the right things to a difficult person!

You really charmed Birdie, AspieUtah......quite a feat!

You get the fulsome benefit of the full range of her Plumage.

Oh kraftie, you too have charmed me, much as that might surprise you, lol!

Your advice and input is also valuable and I greatly appreciate your support here.

Every one who posted, consider me thankful for the comments, suggestions and advice; I've felt so depressed, but to read each reply has given me something in each one.

And Amity, the "resting b***h face" thing had me both laughing and also seriously noting the uses of the very same! I'm not kidding, I'm already ceasing suppression of my RBF.

So good to hear that your friends are supporting you! It sort of goes to show that there is a way for autistics to be valued. I suspect that if a couple of people suggest to this guy that his approach to you is less than wise, he'll back off. The saying that bullies are cowards is really true. As a child and teenager, I thought it was just one of those lies adults tell, but the moment I started pushing back, I found it was true.

What are the chances this guy will at some point find another job or move somewhere else? Sometimes these things solve themselves, particularly if he destroys his own reputation with this sort of behaviour? The fortunate thing is that you have his threats in writing, which was rather unwise of him. It's not possible to gaslight you and pretend it never happened.

Best wishes

Yes I was surprised that the people I've gotten to know even relatively recently seemed supportive when I told them what had happened. I generally try to keep a low profile and usually want to be left alone to get on with things independently, but the people who have taken up an acquaintance with me in this community really showed here that they seem to be on my side, even the guy who considers this man to be a friend of his.

I do hope that if one or two of them actually say something to the guy, he might see he was heavy-handed and out of line. I don't know though....I realized in just one encounter that this seems to be one of those guys who are "my way or the highway".

I was thinking along the same lines, underwater, about maybe he will get a transfer or retire or something -- then I managed to look him up under his job (it's all public record as he's even supposed to be in an "ambassador" role, oh the irony) and it turns out this guy is deeply entrenched in this position, this job and this location. He's been around for a long time and will be around for just as long, I think. It's only recently he seems to have put me on his shit-list, even though I've been around here for years too now.

Sadly none of this is in writing; he spoke to me in-person, face to face, with no witnesses present at the time -- the only things in writing are the e-mails I got from one friend giving her opinion that this was appalling and backing me up. The others I spoke to in-person and they just said in person they were behind me and he was in the wrong.

So sadly I have no proof of the encounter I had with him -- typical bully behaviour also, though, pick on the person when there's nobody with them, nobody in the vicinity, and nobody to confirm what took place. It's his word against mine, unfortunately.