Back and forth
...I should correct your misimpression - The time I'm referring to that I threw myself into the bus , there just weren't people in the back where I got in to offer me help .
They did send someone back there when I was sitting on the floor .
Nonetheless , that does show how sick I can , physically , be - and it sort of pointed my way towards thinking something that I'll get into in a new line .
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_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
...Now , let me say that , IF the stabilization room does happen , I assume:
I will , once again , be entering with just the clothes I am wearing for clothing , perhaps 100% literally , for yet one more time
.
You see , I assume the clothes, etc. , I left behind at the shelter will go bye-bye , yet again
.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
...Now , let me say that , IF the stabilization room does happen , I assume:
I will , once again , be entering with just the clothes I am wearing for clothing , perhaps 100% literally , for yet one more time
.
You see , I assume the clothes, etc. , I left behind at the shelter will go bye-bye , yet again
.
I believe the room has a sink , but not fuller bathroom facilities .
I don't believe I would get , at the stabilization place , the two meals daily I got at the shelter .
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
...For the immediate moment , yes .
I anticipate that there will be no TV in the room , no WiFi , likely just a bed and , again , as I've pointed out before , likely not enough light to even comfortably read with . (Maybe a chair just acceptable as a stand , no surface or table at which to set at and spread things in front .
Frankly , I'm inclined to think I'd see it as a temporary thing , & save my money and hope for my strength to improve a little until the weather has improved and I go to somewhere north of CA .
Remember , no matter what , barring a " winning a game show " kind of scenario , I will have to be helped by Social Services - anywhere - or die homeless .
Having SS think of me more as " someone with autism/AS who is CHF- crippled and needs a wheelchair , soon if not now " might be better than how SF Social Services seems to think of me , which appears connected to ancient " you left the water running " grudges . Perhaps I imagine a new SS in another town might think of me as " nicer " , identifying me with AS and a crippled status that its not like I caused by crashing a car drunk .
Any place I landed and got a wheelchair might be , effectively , my last stop , the place I die - Would I ever even be able to get the dish together to visit my brother and New York , even , just once before I die , never mind any more Technicolor dreams ?
I don't know
. The uni dream ?
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
I'd take the room for the time being.
Make sure your bowels were stabilized.
Make sure you wash your clothes and bathe often.
Get yourself lots of suitable reading material.
Keep your membership at wherever you get computer access.
Maybe get a haircut and shave, and try to get back to the library, if possible. That might even you unrecognizable to the library folks--who knows? Or they might be more inclined, if they did recognize you, to allow you back. Be a little more amiable without actually kissing butt.
...I believe I stated that I'd take the room now .
You haven't commented on my analysis of my health and SS situations .
In the time since I returned to SF in 2015 , I have just had SO MUCH
stolen from me , and otherwise gone & used up - I have spoken of at least some of it here
.
If I could only get some make-up/rebuilding funds .
" Making nice " with the library WILL DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING .
You speak of reading matter - even getting old paperbacks (And I now try to avoid buying " something for keeps " .) costs $ . And , there's my likely lack of decent light...
aftiekortie"]I'd take the room for the time being.
Make sure your bowels were stabilized.
Make sure you wash your clothes and bathe often.
Get yourself lots of suitable reading material.
Keep your membership at wherever you get computer access.
Maybe get a haircut and shave, and try to get back to the library, if possible. That might even you unrecognizable to the library folks--who knows? Or they might be more inclined, if they did recognize you, to allow you back. Be a little more amiable without actually kissing butt.[/quote]
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
...My clothes disappearing (& other things) AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN
, no matter what other flaws there may be in my organization and no matter what problems there may be with my digestion/elimination - the ENDLESSLY DISAPPEARING items make attainting good stability nearly IMPOSSIBLE
.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
how SF Social Services seems to think of me , which appears connected to ancient " you left the water running " grudges .
How ancient is this "grudge?" I've never seen you mention it before. If that has been an issue in the past, it's an indication that you would have trouble living independently...along with the hygiene...just saying.
You haven't commented on my analysis of my health and SS situations .
In the time since I returned to SF in 2015 , I have just had SO MUCH
If I could only get some make-up/rebuilding funds .
" Making nice " with the library WILL DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING .
You speak of reading matter - even getting old paperbacks (And I now try to avoid buying " something for keeps " .) costs $ . And , there's my likely lack of decent light...
Your health? It sucks and will get worse. How's that for an analysis? Your leg wound will continue to get infected and you could lose it.
I don't know where you'll get "rebuilding" funds.
The reason you lose things all the time is because you leave your things everywhere and seem surprised when it's stolen.
If I knew about your SS situation, I would comment more.
I don't know what you say, or don't say, to the Hot Team people.
I really don't know. It's pretty much a crapshoot LOL
I know the hospital putting you out on the street like that wasn't nice. That I can comment on.
As for "uni," the maintenance of an address for a while would bode better for your college chances.
If you go into those Salvation Places or whatever, you could pick up, sometimes, classics for very cheap. Maybe like 50 cents or a dollar. I've seen it for myself. Then there are the bookstores which sell books out on the street. And sometimes street sellers, too.
What kind of tablet do you have? I'm sure there's somewhere you can download books. Some really "classic" woks are free, actually. You'd be surprised!
...On criticizes me - My problem , I believe , is less with my leg (lower , left) than the CHF - Since that is behind both the ballooned up weight gain and my walking in a crippled , and exhausted , position
as well as my extreme difficulty with getting up from a seated , or lying/ground , position
.
I have been resting in bed for BA's Cally this past week so it is different now These last months I have been in the hospital so much , both due to seeking respite/treatment (such as I did this time) and emergencies, such as my blood sugar going as low as below 40 .
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
...REALLY rushing through everything , I got out of the hospital Mon. But not till today , Fri. , could I both find WiFi and sign into. WP ! I got pickpockered at this Burger King and now they're trying to close early .
I do have a cruddy room , I am in bed 12-14 hours a day essentially continuously , much pills and peeing , I am , unfortunately , beginning to reach the nastier end of my insides !
Barely any clothes , I have tried but I imagine the clothes I left at the shelter are gone , no TV or radio or Net in the room , no clock , window opens on transom/alley , I went looking for a clock radio but can't find one with a decent antenna , I can see myself pissing my money away , I'd eat more healthy if I could , TONS
of midsection pain
and I exhaust myself when going out
.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
...I was in the room for something like 16-plus continuous hours last note/2day , essentially always in bed .
I suppose it is the extended rest I said I needed when in the last shelter , anyway .
It has patched me up - a LITTLE - as regards my walking along pain .
Frankly , I have started using the pills only once a day , not , as in some cases , twice , because my eliminative problems are getting in the way .
And sure enough , I am already leaving stain on the bed - though wearing undies in bed - and am throwing out my first set of undies again
, and still haven't gotten to the Goodwill where they were nasty to me to get some pants .
Frankly , my pain is giving me what might be a good reason to head for OR or WA , where the pot that I think could help with that?? is fully legal...
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
...I was in the room for something like 16-plus continuous hours last note/2day , essentially always in bed .
I suppose it is the extended rest I said I needed when in the last shelter , anyway .
It has patched me up - a LITTLE - as regards my walking along pain .
Frankly , I have started using the pills only once a day , not , as in some cases , twice , because my eliminative problems are getting in the way .
And sure enough , I am already leaving stain on the bed - though wearing undies in bed - and am throwing out my first set of undies again
, and still haven't gotten to the Goodwill where they were nasty to me to get some pants .
Frankly , my pain is giving me what might be a good reason to head for OR or WA , where the pot that I think could help with that?? is fully legal...
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
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