Being the weird single one

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You know what? Not really in the materialistic sense.

But she likes feminine frills, and flourishes within a house's decor, which require some knowledge of how to decorate a room, a knowledge which I sorely lack, especially when it comes to what a woman likes.

Well please don't give up hurtloam. Maybe see if you can get counselling off the GP. I feel like you're a bit trapped in a negative feedback loop in your brain. You seem to judge yourself harshly. I had counselling once, and it's not really useful in every way, but one way it was useful for me was the counselor encouraged me to be a bit bold and approach people, not always assuming the worst.

I don't have time for that. I have a full time job.

This thread is a good example of what I mentioned in sweetleaf's fun fun fun thread... when a single person mentions how lonely they are coupled people will swoop in and tell them how rubbish relationships are, which just makes me feel despair.

ive never been loved, I dont know what its like. Im sad. Ive missed out on a huge chunk of being human, but apparently I shouldn't want to have this human experience because its just bad anyway. Everything is bad, being alone is painful, being with some one is painful.

what's the point of feelings.
?

life is just a pile of poo

Boyyy, how long has it been since I've last seen any of my married friends? At least two years now, and it sucks. A hangout night has been pretty lonely too, so. Damn marriage, calm the hell down.

It's a hard thing when you have high standards. It makes it hard on you. Many people have suffered because they have high standards. Having a relationship with somebody whom you are "settling for" is probably worse than not having a relationship at all. I've "settled" a few times. It's not a pleasant feeling.

Ultimately, though, you persistence in maintaining your standards will cause you to win out, and find that "special someone."

In other words, I'm saying that you shouldn't "settle," but that you should still seek your "one and only."

Thanks, I appreciate that. The thing is Fifasy is right, I need to talk to men just being friendly. I've met plenty of nice chaps, but I start to freak out and clam up once I realise I like them. And they lose interest in me. I didn't used to be like this, I got hurt a few times and it's just hard to believe someone would actually like me back now.

I've met a few that wouldn't have been men to "settle" for, they just were'nt interested in me and I find it hard to believe that anyone ever will be.

Men usually think believe women who "clam up" have lost interest in them.

It's a default determination. It's for self-defense, really.

They might also believe in the possibility that a woman could really be shy and are actually interested in them---but they don't want to risk acting on that belief. They don't want to risk getting hurt and being made a fool of.

There are men out there who believe the same thing...that they must be "true to their selves."

This belief seems more common as people experience life more.

It's not that I don't want to Change, I really do. I want to be a friendly outgoing person. I want to be different to how I am, but anxiety stops me. I physically can't do it because of how my body reacts.

Having an anxiety disorder sucks

I know it's rough. I really wish I could be your "wing man" (if I wasn't married, I would find you a suitable person to date).

It's a bummer, really, that the situation is so complex when it comes to your signature.

It's easier for men. They know that must act upon "green lights" given. For a woman, like I said, it's more complex. Some men just don't like the woman to take the initiative, even if a "green light" situation arises.

Just in case you're wondering what my signature is all about. Not sure how popular Lorde is in the US, although this is from SNL.

This phenomena is universal, and it seems to be far stronger among women btw.

Single and taken guys hanging out together isn't uncommon (yet not in couple outings, so even among in men it becomes less frequent when a guy is taken).

But since I was in university, I have always noticed that taken women almost never sit with single women. It's so weird.

I wonder if it's because of the kinds of things men and women talk about. I notice at work the men talk about sports and cars and computer stuff. You can be single or taken and still have input on the game last night.

Women tend to talk about people.