I need help

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It's so hard, feeling like people don't care. Hugs.

I like the way you described the picture.

It's worse because he went on vacation, but he wanted to do a session anyway. We do online sessions sometimes. He did the first session (online) while he was relaxing on vacation, and I was so honored. I felt so so special, that he invited me on his vacation, that he doesn't mind me enough to meet with me. But really, the only reason he remembered the appointment the first week was that he was meeting with bankers about a school he's starting, and that meeting was the second day. The second week, he forgot the time and emailed me to ask, but the time was only 30 minutes away. I wrote back right away, and got ready for the appointment, and he didn't log on. I don't know if he found something more interesting and pretended to forget so I'd forgive him for choosing something more interesting. But I haven't heard a hide or hair from him since tuesday, and I think he's happier that way.

That's awful! Not to mention completely unprofessional. Let's get him a therapist to help him with his executive function issues.

I was trying to make a joke at the therapist's expense, making fun of his forgetfulness and inability to follow through. Bad joke I guess. Oh well.

No, I appreciated the joke. I wanted the emoticon to be half smiling, half not. The mouth is doing that.

If I do ever hear from him again, I'll tell him that a wise person told me to tell him that he should get a therapist for his executive function issues.

I don't think so though, I just can't see myself coming back from this. It's worse than the other times.

Telling the therapist what I said,

My computer just reads that emoticon as "confused" or as "colon question mark."

When you say that you're not coming back from this, what do you mean?

I mean I feel so embarrassed, that I felt I was important to him. I can't take thinkng about it. I can't take the thought of ever talking to him again. But I still keep checking my email every 3 minutes, looking for a message from him. I feel so lost and powerless and embarrassed, and angry too. It's getting worse every day. It's suppposed to get better as time passes. But it's getting worse and worse and worse.

The smiley looks like a regular smiley on my computer, but the mouth is a ripple, like the ripple that goes over the nyah-sounding "n" in Spanish.

I've had therapists who were professional and didn't forget appointments. One of them helped me to accept myself and my anxiety by focusing on the good things in my life.

This therapist doesn't seem like he deserves your money or your thoughts. You're supposed to be important to him. I feel angry for you, just thinking about him.

Fluter--

You did the right thing by telling of the situation you had. That's a main purpose of these forums.

In fact, in general, of course comparing notes (including, and especially, in emergencies) is the whole purpose here.

Though I'm new here (only about a week) I know that of course being here for eachother is largely what this website is for.

So always mention it if things get to be oppressive or if things start feeling unbearable.

Suicide is always a really bad idea, never justified unless a person has a physical injury or disease that spoils their quality of life. (...and, when it's justified by a sufficiently serious life-spoiling injury or physical disease, then I don't call it "suicide").

It goes without saying that we're in this life for the purpose of living, even though it can be a bit adverse sometimes (a fact of life that I can personally attest to). All of us at these forums were born with an atypical attribute, usually Asperger's, that made or makes survival and coping difficult, or even impossible. I don't like to say "impossible", but I have to say that survival was quite impossible for me when I was younger, and that I didn't survive my childhood, or have a life at all when I was young. (Of course forums like this didn't exist then--I started junior-high school in 1957.)

Anyway, regardless of anything, we're in this life to try our best, to make it come out as well as possible. I think the effort is the important thing. Of course if you're doing your best, then you have nothing to blame yourself for.

I don't think there needs to be a purpose. It's for fun, for play, exploration, new experiences. "Lila" is what they call that in Vedanta.

Of course, like nearly everyone, you aren't done.

Michael829

I'm doing better. We had a session last week, and talked about a lot of things. I think it was a legitimate mistake. Thank you for all your help.

Hey there! Glad you are doing better.