Aspies can't tolerate other aspies

Post Reply New Topic

I never met another aspie (diagnosed and open with it at least) till a few days ago and even this wasn't a long meting so I don't have much experiences but this is what I found:

- He seems to like wearing yellow color which is one I happen to dislike. But I am also always wearing a color that many people dislike(red) so I understand. It doesn't cause sensory issues to me so it's fine.
- He seems very shy and I don't know how to deal with it. He doesn't answer well to the methods I usually use when starting conversation with people in a group.
- But I will keep trying because I am interested in him, both because he is the first aspie I met irl and because he is my totally type physically (I have really unique taste so it's rare, I was always thinking I will never talk to a guy looking like this irl because 99,9999% guys don't).
- We were able to talk a little bit in a group of 3 (me, him and my friend that I kinda ignored, lol). He was using a communication style I sometimes use with people I am comfortable with and made myself aware how annoying I must be to them. It was eye opening - made me understand WHY parents were teaching me not to speak like that to people that don't know me well. I felt kinda hurt. I believe I can get used to it once I make sure he doesn't want to hurt me and it's just his natural style that he can't help or that he thought I am annoying and intended to hurt me(I know I were probably annoying - at least I would consider myself annoying if our situations were reverted - so it's fine) but if he actually chooses not to do it because he doesn't care if strangers are hurt I will not be fine with it.
- States his opinions as if they were 100% right. I sense INTJ.
- His statements made me confused and I didn't know what to say but it was easily solved by "Can you explain why?".
- The logic in his explanations was wrong once and I think he agreed with me when I stated it, but it wasn't clear if he really did.
- There were some communication issues related to body language - we said: "I'm going this way"/"Me too." and... we went opposite ways. LOL

My current conclusion is that we won't get along in the long run but it might change once we interact some more because I know you can't judge a person on first meting, especially when the person is an aspie and it's his first time in new group and new place, after a few years of shut-in life.

Aspies are like cats after all. Cats introductions rarely go well http://messybeast.com/first-impressions.htm but they might become friends after some time spent together. Or not. At least I - the resident cat - am a curious kitten, not a territorial adult cat so there won't be a fight.

It depends. I think when you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie, and for me, it's a very poor thing to base a friendship around. It's like trying to force a friendship with another because they have the same gender or hair colour as you.

I've meet a handful of really cool aspies online over the past 13 years and it's been worth it for that. But I have to agree, I don't think I get on with aspies better than NT people. I only know a few aspie types in real life and don't like them very much, feel like I have nothing in common with them etc.