"You need to get your head out of your ass!"

Post Reply New Topic

It was tremendously difficult and I'm still not there yet (where I want to be) really. Music was like the only thing that helped me get through my unemployed days...whether it was sad or happy it helped because I connected with it.
I also tried to make money on the internet. It wasn't much but it at least made me feel like I was doing something.




Yes yes that's exactly it. The person in charge was almost ganging up against me with my coach saying crap like I thought you were willing to take any job as long as it's not fast food/restaurant but a) I believe she misquoted me. I didn't say any. If anything the word I used was most and b) it doesn't even matter because I can't take a job that they haven't offered me and I was at that point where I knew being desperate wasn't getting me anywhere as I couldn't even get a job I really wanted so how was I supposed to get a job I didn't? Not to mention that I already tried for jobs I didn't really want and I failed at getting those too yet they still tried to push me to try more jobs that I wasn't interested in.
I had another coach that I went to after and again it was like the previous person that was in charge was in cohoots with her when they weren't in the same organization.
They thought I wasn't trying hard enough but in reality it was them that wasn't trying hard enough because with the first coach she lied to me about the help I could get with driving and she only used Indeed for job searching. I told her about Craigslist and how I know that while many are scams there are legitimate jobs on here but I needed help finding some. She just wrote it off as it's all scams on there. The other coach would constantly send me an overwhelming list of jobs that I'm not interested in with maybe one (or two if I'm lucky) that were remotely promising but even those the majority of the time I did not qualify for. Also when I wasn't getting a response from her I called her and she was like I sent you an email but you did not reply. Um because I didn't get it? So if you weren't receiving a response from me how about you call me or look to check what email you are sending it to because I gave her the right email but she sent it to the email that I was accidentally sending it from (I did not know it could not receive messages and did not know that was the one I was sending it from). If I tell you a certain email to contact me with why not stick with that one or if that's a problem why can't you let me know so I could have realized what happened sooner? So it was obviously my mistake that I was not aware of but she's supposed to be the professional while I'm just a neurodivergent trying to make sense of this and when something was up I made the effort to call her but I didn't at first because I thought she was purposefully ignoring me which is a fair assumption with the way she was acting.
Also I recently found out that the dog walking app she referred me to takes advantage of new hires so it's pretty funny.

I ended up getting this job without their help (still not the one I want but I know it's better than being unemployed.) If I needed their help I still would be unemployed at this point so hopefully I can get a new and better job without them because even though I have a job now they'll probably still be just as helpful. One would think it will be different since I took a job I didn't want but I'm sure they would find some excuse to pick on what I'm doing knowing the type of women they are...probably tell me I need more schooling or something and I should wait til then to find another job.

I just wish I could change my brain's thought patterns to that my past doesn't equal my future and things in theory can get better for me.

Just think about that idea in an intellectual sense.

And see the evidence that it's worked for other people---and that it can work for you, too.

Yes, try to be rational and constructive about it. Then try to use your internal pessimism to come up with potential problems and then find ways to improve in those areas.

Marknis, this belief is so distorted and untrue. Women are disadvantaged in many ways in their careers. I can't convince you of this if you want to see it your way, so I won't even try. Let me just say that if you believe this, it's no wonder you have little success at dating.

And maybe that's what "get your head out of your ass" means. It means you have underlying beliefs and assumptions that limit your success and life opportunities. Again, I can't convince you of this if you don't want to believe it.

What does your therapist think?

This. All of it.

Preserving a "positive attitude" in the face of massive data to the contrary is *not* healthy in the least.

Marknis, your ex-friend had *her* head up her anal canal so far that I'm surprised you didn't have to look at her bellybutton to talk to her. How on earth she could believe that a job in a gym is the exact equivalent of a job in a library? One is in a privately owned company (or franchise), one is in a state or city or county government function (library). The promotion policies will be completely different! And fast promotions aren't always a good sign, they may indicate high turnover, and there are always reasons for high turnover, and they are not good.

Civil service employment is one of the few remaining places where there may be some job stability and security. That's the "big picture" aspect of your job... also, you're in one of the most valuable and undervalued professions in the universe.

Hi again - Marknis, on another thread I made a comment about employers chasing shiny objects... this is what that means: it's like the entire management has ADHD and goes running madly after every new fad, every new gadget, every new piece of software, every new buzzword. They confuse novelty with value, and they never learn. These are the places that refuse to promote from within, then can't understand why their best, most knowledgeable people keep leaving - at the worst possible time for the organization (hopefully).

This is an article about that - it is written for a business audience, so it's kinder than my description above, which is written for the victims.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/288370

Also, it is not limited to the business world! If it were not for Shiny Object Syndrome, our entire civilization would look at the Kardashians (for example), yawn, and go, "oh yeah, them", then go back to doing something worthwhile and constructive...

You've said what I would say here. I agree.

You claim to be 63 but sound like a baby throwing a tantrum. If you can't handle other people's views, you really need to grow up. This person would say things like "All guys suck!" and other extreme statements so she had no business judging anyone else. I can form my own views while you are just parroting other people's views like a mindless robot. I also specifically said my culture, genius (Which is sarcasm since you've shown yourself to have zero reading comprehension). Grow up and get some reading comprehension.

Hey everybody,

Let's dial it back a bit, please. I know you're in a bad place Marknis, but, try not to lash out at people. I don't think Bea is trying to be argumentative or disrespectful as much as she's trying to convey a different perspective.

For the rest, let's all focus on being supportive in The Haven. Thanks.

She said herself she's not even trying to present a different perspective so that's pretty clear cut that she's just upset I am not seeing eye to eye with her. Pretty petty and childish if you ask me.

You never did say what your therapist thinks.

And you are way overdue for mental maturity if you can't handle other people having different outlooks. I have not seen anything original from you, just copy and paste opinions.



Thank you, Esmerelda. This ex-friend really didn't grasp what I had to go through. Also, anyone who has extreme views like "All guys suck!" is in no position to judge or lecture anyone.