Can I blame my mother?

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Marknis, you were reported as well for calling her a robot.

The Haven is a special place where people should be supported, but they also shouldn't engage in insulting others.

We can either start anew, without any further insults, or I could remove half of this thread.

This did seem kind of antagonizing to me to be fair,


Does not seem very supportive or encouraging. I thought it was good when I saw this thread because from what I can tell from other threads his mom really has been a hindrance...and I think it is a good thing to recognize that and ok to express frustration about it.

I think it is good to recognize this, and maybe it will give you some motivation to start getting some distance from her. It seems like she has held you back in a lot of ways, but nothing is permanent...you can still move forward. But you will have to break her hold over you, that is the hard part. Like a good goal would be looking into moving out I mean my mom wanted me to move out when I was still living with her...because she thought it would be good for me to have my own space. If your mom tries to hold you back than you just have to be proactive about it, like don't depend on her help with it.

If you are on SSI you could apply for subsidized housing and there are resources to help navigate these kinds of things to. But its up to you to seek it out and it can take time...but with a bit of patience things can work out much better.

I remember that while in group therapy someone mentioned that due to my body language and what O say that he didnt like me all that much. I was ypset to the point where I was having a panic attack before going to the next session. I had examine what he was really saying, which was there were things hindering my being likes by others. I decided to change some things, maybe ot was the effect of the meds or a combination of stuff, including wanting to change, but i decided to change how approached it, mayne if I smiles more, looked at other people's point of veiw, etc.
The same here, all she said was a differing point of view, and counter arguement. Change how y9u percieve things and you may feel differently.
Do what you always do and get what you always get.

I don't think he's on SSI. I know he works in a library.

Only for some things in your past, but not for your present nor future - you're in control now, live your life.

I do indeed work but my mother says I have SSI as well, it's just withheld from me. I don't know if she's my payee or not. I honestly get so burned out by stress from my daily existence that I just want to avoid my family for the most part.

Are you somehow legally deemed incapable of managing your own finances in order to pay for housing and food etc & is your mother is legally in charge of your finances?

Or is this some sort of agreement you two have come to in order for her to help you manage your finances?

If she’s not legally in charge of your finances AND you two don’t have an understanding about her role in your financial life/she accepts that payment directly for room & board or whatever, then it may be that your mother is taking advantage of you financially - especially if you don’t even know if you are receiving some sort of government benefits or not.. sounds fishy.

Last edited by goldfish21 on 01 Apr 2018, 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That is a little concerning. You should know whether you are getting SSI payments. Also unless she has legal guardianship, all the checks should be addressed and mailed to you.

That’s an extreme case of helicopter parenting; it’s very... very destructive to a child’s development.

Yea; it was very antagonizing; and this is the haven where people can complain and vent.

And his mother’s influence was really a problem, to be frank. Wanting to chemically castrate her son (or whatever it is)... this may be just the tip of the iceberg.

Considering that he is an adult and he should be emancipated is even more troubling.

She is indeed my legal guardian and she claims she wants me to be independent but yet at the same time say she thinks I will die in the streets if I don't live with her. Her control freak nature clashes with any potential optimism.

If you are working, why do you need a legal guardian? You could presumably challenge this and win. And probably every last thing in your life will improve once you achieve more independence, by living away from your mother. For starters, you'd at least have somewhere you could bring a chick.

I have to add, a relative of mine was controlled in a kind of love-hate situation with a control freak mother. It's an extremely difficult mold to break, but your future depends on it. Good luck.

I started delivering newspapers when I was 10. Should I not have had a legal guardian?

How about when I working full time hours after school and weekends at McDonald’s from age 15-18? Did I not require a legal guardian then?

Just because you’re working doesn’t mean you don’t need a legal guardian. Even if you’re over 18. Some people are perfectly fit to work part, or full, time but aren’t mentally or emotionally mature enough to ever make proper financial decisions for themselves and it’s truly in the best interest of their health, safety, and well being to have their accounts managed by a legal guardian.