Survivor Guilt

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MaxE is very eloquent. I’m sorry lost your dad.

I hope your girlfriend is being very supportive.

Just FYI, and I am not necessarily recommending it, but any hospice in the USA that takes Medicare is required to offer grief counseling, free of charge to anyone, regardless of cause of death or whether or not the deceased was a hospice patient. No insurance or payment needed.

((hugs))

Retro is Australian. They probably have a similar service there.

Look into it, Retro.

I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your father.

I'm so sorry.

My condolences on your loss.

It's too bad all this happened just a few weeks after my psychologist moved to New Zealand.

I'm sorry for your loss. You didn't cause his death, his health issues did. Whether you could have played a hand in helping to prevent his death had you acted differently, as others have said, will forever be an unknown. As such, you should not blame yourself. Hopefully in time, you will be able to remember good things about your Dad.

Even though all of his conspiracy theories and creationism were bologna, he was still quite knowledgeable about certain subjects. I should have got him to teach me 8-ball when I had the chance. And he was planning to teach to kempo.

He had a surprisingly deep knowledge of the Australian government (when he wasn't talking about how they're secretly controlled by Satan). He had practically memorised the Australian constitution.

He could have taught me that stuff if he didn't spend most of his time talking about how the whole world is secretly controlled by communists who are secretly controlled by Satan. He wasted so much of his life.

In the last few months I felt like I was making progress with him. I actually convinced him at Charles Darwin wasn't a racist eugenicist. Next I was planning to tear down his heroes Ken Ham and Ray Comfort. I guess now my arguments against them will go to waist.

I may even miss having debates on such ludicrous topics as the Illuminati, the New World Order and how there was already a manned moonbase before Neil Armstrong landed on the moon.

I hope the folks Up There change his mind, and he comes back as a Socrates type of guy.

It feels like I was talking to him last week. I was talking to him last week.

I keep finding evidence that his heroes are dunces, such as Ray Comfort saying there's no gravity in space or Kent Hovind advocating for eugenics (a practice Dad claimed was the exclusive domain of evolutionists) but now I can't present it to him.

Dying is the ultimate cop out to get out of an argument. This is the worst case of thinking of a comeback too late.

Sorry for your loss. Death can be difficult regardless of whether you got along with the person or not. Just because someone important to you dies doesn't mean all the bad things disappear. You can dislike someone who is dead, or hate them, or love and hate them at the same time, or have all sorts of feelings about them, both negative, positive, and neutral. I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with remembering dead persons in any way that isn't 100% fond... I don't think that's fair to people who have lost people who they've had a difficult relationship with, because its totally normal to have mixed or confusing feelings after something like that happens. And as was already mentioned, what happened wasn't your fault, but I think feeling guilty about the death of a loved one is normal, especially if you believe that you could have prevented it somehow. You know now about what condition your father was in, but at the time, you couldn't have known. Its no one's fault.

Your situation is really tough and I am sorry. Hindsight is 20/20, you couldn't have known it was a brain aneurysm.

Hindsight is always 20/20. You did the best you could with what you knew in the moment. He declined an ambulance - not you. It's not your fault.

As for your arguments with him, have you ever considered that if you didn't engage him in this discussions that you may not have spoken much at all? Or that perhaps he enjoyed getting fired up and arguing with you? If debating these things was his thing, then IMO you did right by your dad by having these conversations with him & he likely got more out if it than just getting fired up.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.