06 Jan 2019, 10:55 am
06 Jan 2019, 11:15 am
06 Jan 2019, 9:06 pm
07 Jan 2019, 4:29 am
It's hard to explain the social side at work. The older people are blokes and they don't really have much to do with each other outside of work, as they have wives and children and their own lives. But the 4 other 20-somethings at work actually meet up outside of work and I just feel left out, plus I work with them more.
I am friendly with everybody. If somebody's a bit different I still make time for them.
Are the other young ones single? If the older ones don’t socialize after work because they have wives and children, maybe you’re not asked now that you have a family (i.e. you live with a partner). Maybe they think you’re busy at home outside of work.
One of them has a girlfriend and lives with her, although this one ain't as cliquey as the other two, he does make time to include me. I like him. But one of the other guys is single and can't get a girlfriend, they say he's shy but he always seems to go after the extroverted girls, and he may be shy and a little odd but he still seems to be the loudest of the group and he organises these outside work social activities. And the girl is the sort that likes going out to bars drinking. The other girl lives with her parents but is very quiet, she stands about more than talks. I talk to her and she talks to me a little, but she seems to prefer the company of these cliquey two, even though she's not cliquey herself, her personality is similar to mine. But even they've invited her out with them once I think, not drinking (she doesn't drink). I think they took her ice-skating or something.
It just hurts that I'm never involved. I don't like to invite myself out with them, but I try to act interested in what they do and sometimes I say, "that sounds like a laugh, I'd like to try that". At Halloween they went to this really cool event (except for the quiet girl) that I would have love to have gone to, but I didn't know about it until they had all brought tickets and by then it was too late for me to book up and go, say, with my boyfriend.
I just love to feel included and involved. That's what being young is all about. It doesn't stop hurting.
07 Jan 2019, 5:36 am
It's hard to explain the social side at work. The older people are blokes and they don't really have much to do with each other outside of work, as they have wives and children and their own lives. But the 4 other 20-somethings at work actually meet up outside of work and I just feel left out, plus I work with them more.
I am friendly with everybody. If somebody's a bit different I still make time for them.
Are the other young ones single? If the older ones don’t socialize after work because they have wives and children, maybe you’re not asked now that you have a family (i.e. you live with a partner). Maybe they think you’re busy at home outside of work.
One of them has a girlfriend and lives with her, although this one ain't as cliquey as the other two, he does make time to include me. I like him. But one of the other guys is single and can't get a girlfriend, they say he's shy but he always seems to go after the extroverted girls, and he may be shy and a little odd but he still seems to be the loudest of the group and he organises these outside work social activities. And the girl is the sort that likes going out to bars drinking. The other girl lives with her parents but is very quiet, she stands about more than talks. I talk to her and she talks to me a little, but she seems to prefer the company of these cliquey two, even though she's not cliquey herself, her personality is similar to mine. But even they've invited her out with them once I think, not drinking (she doesn't drink). I think they took her ice-skating or something.
It just hurts that I'm never involved. I don't like to invite myself out with them, but I try to act interested in what they do and sometimes I say, "that sounds like a laugh, I'd like to try that". At Halloween they went to this really cool event (except for the quiet girl) that I would have love to have gone to, but I didn't know about it until they had all brought tickets and by then it was too late for me to book up and go, say, with my boyfriend.
I just love to feel included and involved. That's what being young is all about. It doesn't stop hurting.
Well the only thing that's ever helped me in situations like this is to be grateful for the people who do accept me.
07 Jan 2019, 5:43 am
07 Jan 2019, 6:07 am
07 Jan 2019, 10:08 am
ptsd adds to that. because getting triggered, SURPRISINGLY, chains in a meltdown to top s**t off. and i dont know when and who would hit me with a lexic trigger... i dont hate neurotypicals, no. but i am afraid of them. because they never know what they can do to me... cant fathom... wont f*****g listen to quite plain warnings, too... and then, i get all the blame, the front page and the fame 
and then ya, i just try to limit my communications to people, who are capable to bear with me. because i am so f*****g tired. and maybe i hurt the poor allistics' feelings, just by refusing to talk to them when they want to talk to me (in a way where i'd have to well, accomodate for them, because if i dont they go ballistic on me right there). we chose, we get chosen, more often than not this doesnt coincide. when i dont get responce i'd like, i f**k off and try to talk to somebody else. i sugest ppl do the same, and very often they insist on communication untill i make my refusal more graphic than they can take xD
AND THEN there is a whole layer of "we were kinda giving u space... u are the one, who wanders alone, we know it, we didnt want to intrude in ur personal space" thanx guys xD u really didnt know i really wanted to be intruded on, by u and then xd
SO what im rambling about here, communication is a 2way street. and sometimes u just need to find a different street that would be better for u...
