Nurvous.

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I think so. Learn to breathe calmly, consciously and deeply. Slow and deep then exhale the same way - this will help you to relax. I don't mean breathe this way all the time - just an an exercise. I find it helps when I am a bit anxious.

Are you sleeping OK at nights? It's important to get a minimum of seven hours' sleep.

It sounds like you're stressed - even if the job itself isn't stressful, you had quite a bit of change in your life lately and you might need time to adapt.

Anxiety causes me that kind of thing.

Just went out to get two sacks of animal food. Then we went to the beach at Ferryside for about 20 minutes and watched the tide splashing up at our feet. We couldn't be long incase my brother gets back as usually wednesdays he brings friends up here. He is busy with two friends working to get someones garden done. (A friend hoped another friend would help him, but the other friend pulled out, so my brother and another friend again stepped in to help). Brother has a business doing gardens and it has been a learning curve for him, but he was doing farm work before that where he learnt hedge laying etc.
Anyway... I am back home so I can relax. While I am stressed as in a long term build up of stress, I've noticed that it is not so easy to walk. Strength has left my body, but that is what happens as well when I am on the fringes of a partial shutdown. At least this evening, as long as my brother has nothing on, I can relax.
I have noticed, when my Mum is stressed, I get stressed... Is it catching? Is only recently I know it is called stress though as before I just knew it as a "Pressure" type feeling?

Yes it would be perfectly natural to be stressed when a close family member that you care for is stressed. Not catching as such, but because you feel their anxiety or unhappiness and empathize.

I hope things will get better for you soon.

We do have a plan. Hope to save a little money for a short break.

Could you just 'test out' MG? We have options here where students can take the test without having to sit for the course if they have the knowledge. Sounds like you have the knowledge...

I get stressed for days in advance of having company, I also get stressed when my spouse is stressed. So, I say yes to both.

Nope. The courses are basically businesses which make their money from you sitting the course. They costs thousands of pounds to attend. I have never had the money. Grants are avilable if I was under 25 or over 60. Employers are not interested as for them it is money down thw drain if you already know the stuff, and as long as someone else can sign, the employer is more then happy as it means I am kept on the lowest wages. (Not to say that at the moment I am interested in taking such a course anymore as I can't see me continuing in the future, as each year I try a job I seem to be going downhill fast in the terms of what I can do.
I can't take another job in the future. It is too much. I just hope I can improve in future years, as it has been the opposite since I first took a job all those years ago. It seems to habe been a downhill spiral. I was earning more when I was 18 at £2 per hour then I am today as back then I was able to work full time. I don't know the answer for the future. Sell my posessions until I run out of things to sell has been my current plan over the last few years. Things don't fetch much on the secondhand market though. Some things I almost give away or do give away. I'm not bothered anymore in regards to posessions, which is unlike me, as I am naturally a hoarder by nature, but the last few years, I've been unloading as I reached a stage where the less I have, the easier it is to keep, as I can't aford to keep things in good condition or invest in the time to keep them good.

My basic plan was to stay alive and sell posessions hoping one day I will relocate with my Mum. When I habe nothing left, I jump ship as so to speak, as I won't be able to keep a car on the road, and where we live, is a few miles of hillclimbing to get home from te bus stop. My Mum can't do it anymore. So as long as I can keep my car running, I can carry on. When I can't it is plan B, as I can no longer walk or cycle when I am feeling in this way. My energy just goes, so sometimes standing up is something I can't do for long. Why working is soo hard.

So for now, I think I have a week or three left of part time work. I will do my best to struggle on and then call it a day. I don't think I can work again, so I am making no future plans. (Each year I kept saying to myself "Next year I will be ok", but next year I tend to be even worse then the last year!).

So, maybe I need to make different future plans. Get things in order. I maybe seen as orderly in work, but at home dealing with myself... I'm not at all orderly. I am glad I am still alive as can you imagine the mess people would have to sort through if I should die?

But I have a little left in me for now... I can still drive. That is good. Ok, maybe the outings I go on are shorter then I used to manage. But at least the car is much easier to drive then a few cars I have had in the past. This is like a grandparents car to drive which is brill as it means it is easy.
So nearly all I earn is getting ploughed into keeping the car in good condition and paying the tax, insurance and fuel.

I hope things change in the future. That would be nice. But if they don't I can keep going for a little while for now. I'd so much love to be cycling again... Not just a brief outing and clinging onto the bike trying to get back home, but proper cycling... Ah well. At least I'm not dissabled.

Ammended. Sorry for sounding negative. I am a bit tired and maybe feeling a little down. I will get some sleep so I can be refreshed. That's the plan as work tomorrow, and when I get back brothers kids will be camping up here with my other brother and his wife for a few days. If things get too noisy I will have to get my tent out to dissapear somewhere! Grrr. Why when I habe work does this happen? Double stress. Ummm.... Oh wait... Is not tomorrow they will arrive I think. Is day after. But right when I will have two days in work on longer shifts on busy days when I need to recover. Can't complain or ai will be blamed again for complaining, and told I should help out more and am lazy etc... (I've not been directly told I am lazy but I feel like I can't do what is expected of me to help, which makes me feel more stressed and therefore worse). I need to relax... Let's get some sleep!