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Don't you realize----that this is exactly what Trump is trying to do?

Ban anything that's against HIM. Especially the Press.

Well my return ticket isn't for another 17 days. Jane missed her family. The original reason I decided to come was so I could meet Jane's family. I felt like I should meet them before I marry her. It seems so impersoal to marry someone's daughter when I haven't even met them.

You may not think she's marriage material but that's because I only come her to complain about her during her worst moments. She really is quite sweet on her good days. She even gave me $90,000.

I knew that I had to meet her family but I was dreading it. Actually going to another country sounds a little scary. I was even more terrified when I heard about their squat toilets.

I nearly backed out of it when Jane said I don't have to meet her family. But I decided to come anyway because I just wanted to see what China would be like.

I've avoided travel to other countries for this long. I thought that maybe I should actually see one.


I was unhappy for about the first day and a half. She mostly focused on her things and dragged me with her. Our trip through the shopping mall was boring. It turns out that Chinese shopping malls are just as vacuous as malls in other countries.

I also didn't like that she made me carry her heavy wine bottles through the airport and through the subway because she wanted to save on the delivery fee.

I was especially upset the times she abandoned me in some public place, surrounded by crowds of people who ca't speak English. This happened in the shopping mall and in the hospital when she went to get a blood test. I think I started this thread in one of those two places.

After the hospital I started to enjoy myself a bit more. Jane was finished her business for now and offered to take me wherever I wanted. That afternoon I told her to take me to the Summer Palace. It was very relaxing there. I started to calm down a bit. Her nurse friend from the hospital took us to a nice restaurant where we had peking duck.

The next day we met her cousin and her boyfriend and we toured the forbidden city. Afterwards they took me through the hutongs and bought me all manner of snacks and drinks. They took me to a restaurant and I said I wanted to go up one of the tall buildings. They took me to the Central TV Tower that so I could look out the observation deck. Then they took me to another restaurant.

The good thing about China is that Jane's friends and family all want to spoil the white monkey. They pay for my beer and my Uber and tickets to attractions. Every day I dine for free in another restaurant.

They even sleep on the couch so can sleep on their bed. This may be my only chance to tour another country while getting free food and accommodation.

The final reason I wanted to come was so I could have something new to take photos of. In this I was not disappointed. The modern Chinese architecture is beautifully ugly. Cheaply made but built to a gigantic scale. This high speed train gives me a chance t pass through may cities.

I could think of a hundred good and bad things about to China. Bad things like how the manhole covers aren't properly sealed, making some streets smell of raw sewerage and good things lie how their trains are smoother than ours but I think the thing that really upset me in my first few days abroad wasn't whether or not China is a good or bad country but how my girlfriend didn't give me the proper support.

She more than made up for it afterwards.

It's good that you went with her; I agree that it'd be weird to marry someone who's family you haven't met, unless she had already cut all her ties with the family.

So most of the trouble was concentrated on the first few days? In that case it might be best to let it slide. She hasn't been there or seen her friends and family in a long time, right? No wonder she was excited and forgot to pay proper attention to you (by that I mean making sure that you were okay. It's natural that you get less attention than those she hasn't seen in a long time.) If you two repeat a journey like this some day, you now know that this might happen and can talk to her about it beforehand.

Also, have you thought about studying Chinese? If you plan to marry that woman, knowing some of her native language would be for the best so you can get by better with her relatives and friends. Plus, I'd say it's good manners to learn about one's partner's culture. I know from experience that learning kanji is mind wracking, but even learning the basics of speaking would surely help.

I'm so glad your trip is going better now. Experiencing new things, when we can tolerate them, makes for understandings that will last you a lifetime.

When I visit a foreign country I make an effort to learn at least a few necessary phrases, such as, please, thank you, excuse me, where is the bathroom, etc. I learned these and a few other phrases I knew I would need pertinent to the culture and who I am and how am I related to that other white monkey. People would gather around me and chatter about the white monkey who could speak bahasa Indonesia. Except I thought it was like I was a talking parrot. It was quite humbling.

I hope it continues to go well for you.

Something like Nay Ho Ma means Hello, at least in Cantonese.

When a Chinese person answers the phone, they say something like Whey.

No sooner was I starting to get used to Beijing then I was whisked off to another city by bullet train. We travelled about 750 km north-east to a town called Siping. It has a population of about 3 million so by Chinese standards its a small town.


It's kind of a redneck place. Everyone smokes. The security guards aren't as friendly as the ones in Beijing. It's cold here. I think we're near the Russian border.


It's kind of like being in the Bible Belt except colder and instead of crosses everywhere there are hammer and sickles everywhere.


I'm getting kind of sick of all the restaurants. There's only so much I can eat. They say I'm too fat and then they insist I eat more.


No sooner do I get to sit down in our airbnb then it's off to another restaurant. I think I have heartburn from drinking too much beer. But the food is a bit strange so I need the beer to get the taste out of my mouth.


The food is far more exotic here in the provinces. In Beijing we just had normal food like chicken and duck and horse but in Siping we get served far stranger food like roast pigeon and fried cow's udder.


I feel like a deaf mute here. If Jane is Groucho then I'm Harpo. The funny looking guy who smiles and never says anything and then everyone laughs and laughs. I really miss conversation.


Seeing the tourist attractions in Beijig was fun bu exhausting. Now in Siping I find myself just wanting to stay in our apartment and do nothing. But I'm paying money to be here. I could do nothing at home. What's the point of coming to China to do nothing? What's the point of doing nothing at home for that matter? If life has a purpose other than survival I don't know what it is.

Jane wanted me to transfer some files from her laptop to my laptop before we left for China. They files just aren't there. I think maybe I copied them onto the wrong SD card. She really needed them for the new shop she's trying to establish in Australia. I felt really guilty about screwing up. I'm always forgetting things and losing things and making things dirty. Today I leaned on wet paint in a new $230 jacket. I guess that's normal for me.

I'm am sorry you changed locations again and that upset the apple cart again. As it would for most of us.

Your posts are reminding me of my trip to Indonesia. My brother was whisking me around places that terrified me, or dumped me in a hotel and left me there for days on end with nothing to do.

And then there was the food. There was almost nothing I could eat or chose not to because I wasn't sure if the preparation was sanitary.

The only good things I could say about it at this point is 1) I was not eaten by a Komondo dragon, 2) I learned a lot about myself and my brother, and 3) many years later I recognize it as a valuable experience.

At the time, I was pretty unhappy.

If you can calm your inner self, it may lead you to those missing files.

It's been a few days and I'm somewhat starting to get used to Siping. At least sitting around in an apartment browsing the web on a laptop is more relaxing then running between tourist attractions. I like sitting around and browsing the web but I could do that at home and save on the air-fairs.

Half of the web is blocked here and I have to use aging laptop from the early part of the decade (I was planning to bring a newer one but it wasn't charging and I was afraid if I brought it I would be stuck with a brick).

I guess if I was going to take three weeks off work and spend the time surfing the web I'd rather be doing it at home with my desktop computer and without the great firewall of China.

Also you just can't get good soymilk in China. I started drinking it a year ago when I thought I might be lactose intolerant and I develop a taste for it. The Chinese version of soymilk is kind of slimy. Not surprising since they hardly ever use milk so they never had to put much effort into developing a milk substitute.

In Beijing they drive on the right side of the road but here in the provinces they drive on whichever side of the road they feel like. Beijing had far denser traffic but it felt well ordered. Everyone followed the rules. Here the traffic is more chaotic. It's a little scary.

I guess I shouldn't complain since Jane's family has tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible. If I get bored they take me for a walk around the botanic gardens. Today they took me to the supermarket and told me to buy whatever I wanted (with their money). They've been very nice to me.

I have to stay here for a few days while Jane studies for her driving test and recovers from her dental surgery (she wanted to do it in China to save money). Afterwards it's off to another town so she can meet more of her family. I guess meeting her family is what this trip was really about, for me and for her.

She didn't really want to see tourist attracts that much, she wanted to see family she hadn't seen in years. I wanted to meet her family as well. Too bad I can't talk to them. I don't know if being in yet another town will be a difficult adjustment for me again. Maybe I just don't like change.

That's the impression I got, too. Just try to keep in mind that the trip and the fact that you are there as well is probably really important to your girlfriend and her family. It'll make the loss of money and time easier when you know that, at the very least, you're making someone you care about happy.

Well I think I'm making her family happy. But my girlfriend has said a number of things times, both before and during the trip that she considers being my minder and translator to be a burden and that she would have more enjoyment here without me.

I came this close to staying home and letting her enjoy her trip alone.

Oh, that's too bad. Don't feel quilty though; she knew you don't speak Chinese and that people there don't really speak English, so it's as much on her as it is on you. It's a given that she'd have to watch after you at least somewhat.

It's just the right and moral thing to do---to translate.

She is your girlfriend, after all.

Wouldn't you translate for her if she were in the same situation?

This "martyr trip" on her part is not becoming to her.