I'm a nervous wreck, but still so excited

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Congratulations!

Congrats Fireblossom! Very exciting news for you!

Thank you!

Now the update: I signed the papers today! I'll get the keys ten days from now (at the latest) since the previous owners are still moving out, but now the place is mine for real. At the moment there are two things that stress me though: I still need to give a certain document about a certain tax to the housing manager, but I don't know yet when I get my hands on that. But even more than that, I'm not sure where I get the bank account number and other needed documents to pay the monthly expenses of my new place... like, am I going to automatically get them from the housing manager once I've gotten them the last document they need? Or do I need to ask for it separately? It's not like asking's too hard for me, but the problem is that I might look stupid if I ask for it even though I would've gotten it automatically. I'm also worried about getting it in time for when I need to pay... ugh, gotta ask my half sister about this stuff too I suppose, though I really don't want to 'cause again, it'll probably make me look stupid. Plus she's already helped so much by going through all the official documents and checking that nothing's wrong with them. And my mom suggested that I ask her and her man to help with the move since there's some heavy furniture and we'll need help carrying those... stress causer of the year!

...

At least I didn't have to shake any hands when making the deal. Thank you, Covid 19.

Great news Fireblossom! I am so happy for you. There is nothing to be ashamed of for not knowing how to do something you have never done before. It doesn't mean you're stupid. Just preface your questions with (for example) I've never done this before, could you please tell me where I find my bank number? (or whatever.)

I think it is great if your mom wants to help you out (I'm assuming she is supportive and is not going to be directing. After all, it is your life, your apartment.) I am thrilled for you.

^ Thanks! I'm just worried about giving a bad image of myself 'cause that would likely affect how I'm treated in the future. That's why I'm so obsessed with doing things right...

My mom's a bit of a double edged sword... on one hand, I do need her help now and it's great that she's agreed to help, but on the other, she can also be rather controlling and tries to meddle with stuff that's just my business. But I guess that's the price I pay for the help.

I am truly happy for you!
I hope this works out as you want; independence, privacy, the fun of furnishing and decorating, being in control of your life!

yeah, I was afraid Mom might be a bit of a controller. Sometimes it takes finesse to put off decisions she may want you to make differently. You know, Mom, can we talk about this next week?...and then forget about it next week. Pretty much you can never "win" an argument with a controller. Just my opinion and I could be wrong. Defer and deflect.

For the other stuff, you won't present a poor image if you stay calm and just tell people, this is the first time I have done this...what is the next step? etc. (It doesn't hurt to ask different people the same question, helps to validate the answer.) You present a good image as a conscientious person if you ask questions to make sure things are done right.

The thing that bothers me the most about my mom's behavior is that she wasn't like this when my sister, year and a half older than me, got her own place about two years ago. I hate it that she tries to control me more than her; I'd prefer that she'd treat me as my sister's equal.

Logically thinking, you're right, but first impressions and unwritten social rules don't always run on logic... right? In any case, I asked a lot of stuff from my half sister who already thinks I'm hopeless anyway, and I think I got things cleared out. Now I know exactly what document I need and am pretty sure on how to get it. I should be able to handle the other stuff, too.

Absolutely, Congratulations!

I agree with the recommendation to tell folk you're new to the process so you are still trying to figure it out. Between that and being nice to them, more often than not it will go fine.

As far as Mom... Neurodiverse or not, you will always be her baby. Get used to it. Try to think of it as she is being protective. A very, very long time ago when I graduated college I got a really good job and an apartment about 1000 miles (1700 km) from my parents. My parents and sister did a road-trip vacation while I was living there and swung by my place to visit. I had plenty of advance notice so I cleaned and cleaned before they got there. Sigh. They weren't in my apartment 10 minutes before Mom was on her knees in the bathroom cleaning dust off the baseboards!!

Gently live your own life but be nice to Mom. Sometimes you politely ignore the meddling, but maybe sometimes you'll ask for it. No matter how old and successful you get, no matter how much help you ask for and how much "help" you ignore, you will still be her baby.

But absolutely, congratulations. Think of it as an interesting adventure.

^ Thanks!

Honestly, the main issue I have with my mom is that she tries to control me more than either of my sisters, the older one being a year and a half older than me and younger one about five years younger than me. It'd be easier to accept being treated like a kid if I wasn't the only one, but it seems I am... sometimes, when she starts advicing me about something, I ask if she gave the same rant to my sister when she did the same thing. The answer? Usually it's a no, even though my sister moved to her own place directly from under our parents' roof while I've been renting apartments for over seven years!

She loves you and worries about you. She has "Mom Syndrome." Practice discretely rolling your eyes.

I'm getting the keys tomorrow! Today I kept thinking that it was already Thursday and had trouble focusing. Even messed up a bit at work because of this.
Anyway, keys, tomorrow! Still gotta contact the seller to know exactly when I can go get them and from where, but the deadline of me getting the keys is tomorrow, so it's definitely finally time!

...But the place needs some renovation, and the person who was supposed to help me is currently in isolation because his daughter and few of his grandchildren got Covid 19. They don't live together, but if he's been infected... anyway, he's stuck at home at least until next Monday. That's a shame 'cause it would've been nice to be able to start the possible renovation during the weekend.

Once the renovation is finished you can plan where to put a model railway...

I’m so happy for you!

Great great news! So exciting. Wishing you the best of luck and every happiness.

Congratulations!!

Make sure you are equipped to eat, sleep comfortably, and to waste time when you aren't renovating.

And clean the baseboards before you let Mom in!