HighVamp913
Deinonychus
Joined: 1 Oct 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: In my head, Florida
07 Nov 2020, 7:36 am
07 Nov 2020, 7:54 am
HighVamp913 wrote:
Pepe, I have been staying away from those I feel like I am getting worse. I don't look forward to waking up in the morning anymore. Every little thing reminds me that I am weak.
Are you aware of your negative thoughts?
Are you aware that your thinking affects your emotions?
Are you aware that substituting negative internal dialogue with positive thinking will improve your mindset/mood?
It isn't easy, and it will take time, but eventually, it does pay dividends.
Personal experience talking, here.
Do you have a list of happy music soundtracks, or are you into the Goth scene, or the like, with its dark ambience?
I suggest you go onto youtube and find light, pleasant music of your liking.
Are you doing the exercise thing?
Exercise helps in so many ways.
It helps to distract you away from your dark thoughts.
I am into walking my K9 kids, big time.
I bought myself a walkman and loaded marching music on it.
I find it is very effective.
07 Nov 2020, 8:09 am
HighVamp913 wrote:
Pepe, I have been staying away from those I feel like I am getting worse.
There will be withdrawal symptoms.
I have given up caffeine pretty much completely.
After 2 weeks, I feel great.
So much more emotional stability.
Sugar is next in the firing line.
I used to have around 4 or more cups of coffee a day, with 3 spoons in each cup.
Yes, I have a sweet tooth.
I haven't had decaf coffee for over 2 days now, at least 24 fewer spoons of sugar, so far.
I have heard/read that sugar is more addictive than cocaine.
I don't know about that.
It sounds like an exaggeration.
But I do know it is very addictive.
Drinking water helps flush out the sugar that is already in your system.
There will probably be withdrawal symptoms for both caffeine and sugar.
Perhaps do one at a time?
Caffeine withdrawal headaches, if you have them, could be helped with drinking more water, so I have read.
HighVamp913
Deinonychus
Joined: 1 Oct 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: In my head, Florida
07 Nov 2020, 8:13 am
07 Nov 2020, 8:25 am
HighVamp913 wrote:
Pepe, I don't speak negatively I speak honestly. I have been exerting it helps but the moment I stop its like it has never happened. I am trying so hard to stay away from old habits, but I don't think I can anymore.
I like honesty.
I am "The Oracle of Truth" after all.
But saying you are "weak" isn't helpful and is simply keeping you down emotionally.
In other words, that sort of *honesty* isn't really helpful, and is, after all, simply subjective.
What is the point of saying that?
It only works against you getting better.
I think you might find it more useful if you change your focus away from destructive "honesty" and towards self-healing.
Saying, to yourself, that you are weak, achieves nothing.
Working on getting better is the better bet, imo.
HighVamp913
Deinonychus
Joined: 1 Oct 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: In my head, Florida
07 Nov 2020, 8:26 am
I don't have happy playlist. It just reminds mo of something I will never feel while I'm breathing. 
Everyday I am reminded I won't be happy until the impossible becomes possible. For that I am weak, for hoping for something i know won't happen in my life time.
07 Nov 2020, 8:30 am
HighVamp913 wrote:
I am trying so hard to stay away from old habits, but I don't think I can anymore.
I think it inevitable "falling off the wagon", from time to time.
The "trick" is getting back on it when you can.
I am not encouraging you to fall off now, btw.
I am just being realistic.
Based on personal experience, there seems to be a 2 step forward and one step back, reality here.
BTW, what sort of "bad habits" are you talking about?
HighVamp913
Deinonychus
Joined: 1 Oct 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: In my head, Florida
07 Nov 2020, 8:36 am
07 Nov 2020, 8:37 am
HighVamp913 wrote:
I don't have happy playlist. It just reminds mo of something I will never feel while I'm breathing. Everyday I am reminded I won't be happy until the impossible becomes possible. For that I am weak, for hoping for something i know won't happen in my life time.
Everyday I am reminded I won't be happy until the impossible becomes possible. For that I am weak, for hoping for something i know won't happen in my life time.Firstly, do you have clinical depression?
Secondly, you are presenting a very defeatist attitude, in this post.
If you can't see that, you need more objectivity.
I suggest you talk to other enlightened people (yes, I consider myself enlightened.
) and I am confident they can also see you have an unrealistically negative mindset, in this post.It is very obvious to me, but you will gain through others honestly pointing this out also, assuming you want to see it.
Have you heard the old joke:
Q: How many psychiatrists do you need to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb has got to want to change.
It pretty much comes down to you helping yourself, with a healthy attitude.
HighVamp913
Deinonychus
Joined: 1 Oct 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: In my head, Florida
07 Nov 2020, 8:44 am
07 Nov 2020, 8:45 am
07 Nov 2020, 8:49 am
HighVamp913 wrote:
It is true. Hope is weakness. Hoping for the impossible. Science hasn't advanced that far.
Trying to achieve the impossible is self-destructive.
Try for something realistic.
I like the philosophy of "baby steps".
Small, regular, manageable improvements.
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
HighVamp913
Deinonychus
Joined: 1 Oct 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: In my head, Florida
07 Nov 2020, 8:51 am
HighVamp913
Deinonychus
Joined: 1 Oct 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: In my head, Florida
07 Nov 2020, 8:54 am
07 Nov 2020, 8:57 am
07 Nov 2020, 8:59 am
HighVamp913 wrote:
Yes I agree life is a marathon. I don't have the endurance for that.
It is a matter of pacing yourself and taking "baby steps".
