I'm so sorry salad. I have no words of wisdom or solace given what you've been through, except to say that I care.
I'm grateful that person found you in time. It's proof in the good of humanity. Please trust that there are good people in the world, and good things will happen for you again.
Even in the darkest of times, we have to cling to that glimmer of hope.
Be well, and keep writing.

the person who called the ambulance on me is a snitch who got me hospitalized. what if I didnt want to live. why is it wrong for me to choose to escape suffering I never ever wanted in my life. why must I live just to suffer this hell