No interest in anything/no will to live

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It's been a long time since I've posted on WP and things seem to keep getting worse. The more I try to help myself, the worse my life becomes. People here on WP are very kind and supportive so I thought I'd come back but I fear that the only way out of my extreme emotional pain is to find the "right planet".
I have been dealing with anxiety, depression and loneliness most of my life. Therapists and medications haven't helped at all. I used to be able to just muddle through but recently I have been coming very close to having a pure mental and physical breakdown. I can't even take the smallest amount of pressure and i am exhausted all of the time. I was already in a fragile state when I went to return a phone call from a long time friend who is also very depressed and when she heard my voice, she actually groaned! She has been a good friend for many years but constantly lies about not being able to talk because she is "on her way out the door". Really- 90% of the time I just happen to call right when she's leaving?! ! ! I was so hurt and angry that I just hung up and will not call her again. I have not returned the calls she made after I hung up. I bring this up because I don't have many friends and it is very upsetting that I had to be treated that way when I have never done anything like that to her. Then I started realizing that I have no good options. I can either accept that treatment and have a friend or I can have my self respect and lose one of the few friends I do have.
As far as work goes, I am a veterinarian and get negative feedback from clients because I act different than what they expect-despite being a very good veterinarian for their pet.
I just don't see the point in trying anymore when all I get is pain from other people.
I know nobody can give me any answers as to what to do but if there is ANY advice at all regarding how to deal with a horrific, NT world, then that may help me a bit.
I'm sorry to be so negative but I'm just trying to be honest.
Usually I just want to die in my sleep and go to Heaven and be with my precious cats who have passed.

Thanks for listening.

I do feel exhausted from attempting to act "normal" and am losing touch with the real me.
As I said in my earlier post, there are no good options. You either have to be someone you aren't (and even that usually isn't good enough), or you get negative feedback, pain and isolation from other people.

I do feel exhausted from attempting to act "normal" and am losing touch with the real me.
As I said in my earlier post, there are no good options. You either have to be someone you aren't (and even that usually isn't good enough), or you get negative feedback, pain and isolation from other people.

While I was traveling I noticed very often people act much more friendly and forgiving when they know you are a foreigner or it's obvious from your appearance that you are from a different culture and not supposed to act "normal", know all the unwritten rules. People are more annoyed when you look "normal", but don't act like one.

Since then I stopped trying to "blend in" completely and allow myself to look a little eccentric, on a "friendly weirdo/nerd" side. When I identify myself as an ultimate nerd upfront, people expect me to act like one, it doesn't annoy them as much.

As far as work goes, I am a veterinarian and get negative feedback from clients because I act different than what they expect-despite being a very good veterinarian for their pet.
I just don't see the point in trying anymore when all I get is pain from other people.

Thanks again for all of the replies. It is very interesting, and helpful, to hear many of you say that it helps to actually have NTs see us as being different right from the start.
I will definitely adopt this approach and see how it works.