I've been suicidal

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The last time I opened up about such a thing was about 30 years ago and I was completely invalidated for it

I was told that I couldn't be suicidal because people who are suicidal don't know they are

So this time round I don't care what people think because my life and keeping hold of my life is way more important than anyone's toxic opinion

Sorry to be trite.

I hear you. I don't know you, but your suffering is perceptible and real to me.

Sorry there is this pain, that's so sh***y.

I hope it helps to be open about it. Fight your fight, woman.

Cheers mate. Appreciated

It is a bit of a relief for me to be able to talk about it on here as this is the place where I've spent a lot of time over the last year or so and you guys mean a lot to me believe it or not

Time will tell weather opening up is helpful and I'm looking forward to seeing if there are any positive results to come from it
Not talking about it didn't really work out all that well for me so I might as well give this way a shot

through feeling like this I've learned what I actually do have in my life

And I have a lot more than I thought I had before it happened to me

I'm not gonna lie, it's been a scary time. I'll never take my mental health for granted again after this

Hi BB,
It feels like I've been neglecting WP lately, and by extension... you.
I've just had someone float me out of the abyss and I'm immediately familiar with the blindness associated with the depths.

Skate through it.
That you have the strength to do so is pretty obvious to everyone in here and I hope we can help illuminate your path.

You know I love you man

You have your own stuff to deal with and I'm so sorry to hear about that too

Take care mate and thank you so much for your kind words of support and encouragement. You don't know how much that means to me

When something threatens your survival you should at least be free to holler about it.

Everyone has the right to cry out for help or consolation when they're in pain. You've a right to say you've reached a limit, you're in danger, and have people hear and respond to it, as many times as it takes, till there is something that helps.

It scares me to think of that sort of wound going unmentioned, people carrying it invisibly, not because they choose to but because they feel like they're not supposed to say anything.

What happened 30 years ago - that's really shocking.

Hope those good things in your life are being especially good to you.

I mean you're literally fighting for your life when you're fighting suicidal thoughts and feelings so I think you can be forgiven for being neglectful in certain areas of your life that aren't anything to do with your immediate life

I think I have to take the world on by myself

And I have this constant persecutory voice in my head, like an evil drip

I don't even feel human for a massive chunk of the time

Sorry bb, never knew things were this bad for you. I think everyone on here who's interacted with you knows what a great person you are, and hopefully it'll all work out in the end!

I am getting the impression that people here would like the opportunity to passionately disagree with that persecutory voice, if you ever feel like talking about the things it says.

Not feeling human - I think that is pain. You are very human. You are feeling things deeply.

Whoever said that 30 years ago was just grotesquely wrong. If there is a moment in which you think, 'in this moment I am not safe,' please always say it. Find a human voice that will react with care.

There needs to be a reaction.

Because it is very, very important that you are safe.

How are you right now? (You don't have to answer! I've given up on avoiding rude questions, but I'm never offended when people don't feel like answering.) Still fireworks going off like mad here - hope it's quieter where you are and you can at least get some sleep!