Who are the best & worst people in your life?

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Lessons can be taught, learned and valued through other ways than experience.

I would beg to differ. However, I did not actually say anywhere in my post that lessons cannot be taught, learned and valued through other ways to my knowledge...

Ahh, I read your post as those who are the worst are also the best.

My group of friends are the best people in my life. I can't think of anyone who's the worst.

What I meant was that the people we consider to be the worst for us are often the best for us too as they teach us more about ourselves once we examine what it is about them that is so very bad and why it impacts us so badly.

By that, you mean it's like a comment I once heard about the Jews having one of the 'best' teachers in the world, Hitler. In that they will never be complacent or victims again.

the best...is a young girl named Guri...
originally I thought she was like 20 and wanted to flirt with her
but found out she was a lot younger
good thing...But she was different then anyone I had ever met before
its really hard to explain how-but I was so taken by her that I named a character in my novel after her
Its not so much saying anything
Kate/Graelwyn gives great advise and is a great person to me
(I've known Guri a lot longer but its different-you rock Kate)
But Guri is always there...One of the nicest, most caring people I know...
Just all around awesome...
to you Guri *raises glass*
I am too much in a good mood to say the worst person

That makes it sound harsh. I do not talk in terms of one large group, I speak individually. For example, you have a boyfriend and stay with him because you fear being alone...even though he treats you badly...you stay and stay and stay and finally manage to leave because you have been forced to examine the reasons you stay which come down to a fear of being alone...and so, you work on that issue so you don't end up in the same situation again and have a better chance of getting into a healthy relationship.

I was just trying to understand your analogy.

.

In that case, my orignal comment still stands. There is no reason at all for anyone to have to go through anything like that. I lost a year of my life to a jerk, a year that I can't ever get back and even more than that if you count what it took me to fully overcome everything. By no stretch of the imagination could that person ever be considered a "best" or even a good experience for me.

There are many people who are to individuals what Hitler was to the Jewish people as a group, and its quite a drastic insult to their victims to claim that the perpetrator was good for them. Its not something that anyone who truly understands what the word "hurt" means would ever consider even saying, let alone believing. Its just as thoughtless as a comment as calling a person who commits suicide selfish because even with the hard facts in front of you that their pain was too bearable to live through all you can think about is that your own happiness suffered a temporary blow that is relative in size to the suicidal person pain as an ant is to a Tyranosaurus Rex.

It is an opinion and as such I am as entitled to it as you are to yours. I stick by what I said, regardless of what opinion you hold. And dont even dare presume I have not suffered in my life, as I have a great deal. I was sexually abused as a child so maybe you should think before you throw that out there in response to my own personal opinion on what works for me. I simply choose to strive to gain insight from my negative experiences rather than sit there perpetually in victim mode. Stop using your personal experiences as an excuse to attack someone for their opinion and turn this into something personal. Saying that lessons can be learnt from negative experiences, does not equate to saying one must go through negative experiences to learn lessons. There is a difference. Saying that one can try and gain insight from negative experiences does not trivialise the pain suffered, it offers another way of looking at the situation.

Last edited by Graelwyn on 30 Sep 2007, 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you truly believe that I am entitle to my opinon than why are you reacting so angrily to it. As you said I have a right to it, which means I have a right to post, regardless of how much you like it. It really doesn't matter what you say. Its nothing short of cruel and callous to say what you did, and no one who has truly understood pain would even dare to hold the belief that someone who harmed them was one of the best people in their life, unless of course they were suffering from Stockholm syndrome, in which case their ignorance could be accounted for.

Also, getting some benefit from a bad experience in your life can hardly make the perpetrator one of the best people in you life. Because as I said before, lessons can be taught, learned and valued without the bad experience. And that alone guarantees that the bad person cannot be considered one of the best p[eople in your life, because if there was even a possiblity for them to be one of the best they wouldn't have hurt you in the first place. They would have taught you the lessons you needed to know in another way, a way that didn't harm you.

Perhaps in the future you shouldn't ask questions that you aren't prepared to hear answers for. it would save you the grief of experiencing an answer that is different from your opinon of what should be.

Regardless, what I say is my opinion, you have yours. It matters not to me. I know what I mean, even if some do not.

edited. Error post.

The best: my family and the very few friends I have. The worst: just about everyone else.

The worst people can teach us things, yes, I agree with that. I don't mean horrible abusive people. Sometimes people who tell it like it is, even if it's something we don't really want to hear, helps. I think motive is important though.

If what they tell you isn't what you'd like to hear, but when you go away and think about it, you find it's true and gives you food for thought to change your attitude maybe, that's postive, although it may hurt. That's happened to me a few times here, especially when I first joined.

But If someone tells you something just to hurt you, that's just abusive. How to deal with people you don't like without a. being a doormat or b. trying to rip their heads off, lol, that's where I'm at, at the moment.