Life isn't worth this struggle.

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brittany...
i know you have replied so some of my posts when i was feeling like this...and i thank you for that.
i know exactly how you are feeling - i'm going through the same thing myself, every day. i completely understand the whole failure thing...i rarely start anything and see it through to the end. that is the way my life has always been. to the point where i gave up trying anything new, or that i thought i might like enough to be able to see it through.
i am twice your age and feel just like you - that i haven't given enough of myself, not only to this world, but to others...even in friendship. it is a truly sad feeling. i understand completely. everything you have written, sounds like a description of me and my thoughts. how'd you get in my head? lol.
i can say one thing. don't kill yourself. because there is always that small chance (and yes...some days it's looking smaller than others...) that things will get better. you have to find something to cling to, to get past the feeling of doing this. i don't know how many people said to me to find something happy to hold onto...well, when you don't have anything 'happy' to hold onto, then what? after my last attempt, i found that my 'something' was the promise i made to never try again. a friend made me promise, and for some reason, that promise means more to me than my life. or rather, the ending of it. and i hold on to that, i cling to it and i hope, every day, that things will get better. some days are good...really really good. this past week, i've clung to that promise so tightly....it's all i've had to get me through.
anyways...i really do hope that you can sort yourself out and find your 'something'. when you end your life, it's done...there is no changing your mind.
so please, don't give up?
*hugs*

Oh, I have a perfect solution! Just live your life, and if anyone expects ANYTHING of you, if they start to get pissy because you aren't doing it, punch them hard on the nose! (Then wash your hands and tell the cops you didn't do it. Or go hide out somewhere until any broken skin around the knuckles comes back together and the cops would probably be long gone anyway.)

Your life path is Endless topic

Just remember this, Brittany. And yes, you can go back to school.

Learning is life long. This is a good reason for life.

Thank you and keep in touch.

Please, PLEASE dont kill yourself. Just a week ago, a friend of mine did.
I think she'd be suprised how much people cared about her, miss her now.

You say you can't live up to expectations.
If 'they' have been giving you grief your whole life, who cares if you don't live up to their expectations?
If you can't live up to your own expectations, you are either too hard on yourself, need to lower your standards, or just keep on looking..

This is going to sound like a massive cliche.. life is hard, painfull sometimes even, but as long as you endure, as long as you keep on going, there is the chance you'll find your way..
Maybe not, but there is only one way to find out, right?

There are so many alternative options one can take in their life.. even though they might not be the nicest option, it's better than being dead, I think?

You could be a hermit, or become a Buddhist munk..
You could help wayward animals..

You are/were intrested in photography, right?
Who cares if you can't follow some stupid random photo course?
Just take those pictures of things you find beutifull
Work out how to do it while you are doing it..
I always find art that has a rough edge better than technical perfect art