I JUST WANT TO DIE

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dont you think building schools is getting a bit old... i think we need more hospitals in africa now... its already sprawling with schools... not to mention the whole schools in africa thing belongs to Oprah winfrey lol.. dont steal her stuff

I'm sorry for that.
Don't mind calling me a**, that doesn't reach me over xxx thousand kilometers
Funny detail: I wanted to find out where you live, to fill in the exact distance and looked at your profile. If your date of birth is right, you're born the same day as I, just some 18 years later.

welcome to the club :/

i also have a small problem with to high feelings (i even think theres a name for it) that makes me anti-ego

and im not really scared of die'ing but even i know that commiting suicide doesn't work (i woulnd allow people to

think im a quiter and a coward) thats how i feel strange but it keeps me alive atleast

edit*i also try to make my mind fit in the world i am now until i find a way to escape(try to think about even the smallest good things even if its nothing compared to other people)

"When I see someone suffer I suffer along with them, I cry in pain."

In an insensitive world, this is actually a beautiful thing. Don't lose it.

Just realize that your power to help others may be limited or nonexistent sometimes. Sometimes you just can't let things get to you.

I used to live Mom's sorrows and depressions along with her. It ruined my life completely. Very slowly I learned to do whatever I could, and then walk away. For some reason I used to do the opposite - do whatever I could, and then sit around feeling terrible. It was *way* hard to learn to walk away, but I did. I see now I was right to learn that. Do you see what I mean?

I know, being so sensitive in such an insensitive world is so hard. All my thoughts and emotions get trapped inside my head, it is a pain like no other. I can't think, I can't sleep, it slowly claws at my heart until a release and sometimes they are lets say destructive.

After my last big meltdown I wrecked my room, wanted to die even more so then before I had the meltdown, but after a while it all evaporated. I felt empty afterwards like I had no soul it was pleasant, but I didn't care about anything or anyone but slowly my heart started beating and everything was normal. Do any of you do that, you go nuclear let it all out in one huge burst feel nothing then return to normal????

On another note I wonder if being on medications to control mood (thank misdiagnosis of bi polar) impaired my ability to learn to channel my emotions out of my mind??? Anyone have any clues????

Go make something of your life. Help people if you care for them. Become a therapist, a musician, a philanthropist, a missionary. Someone like Oprah. don't commit suicide, thats a waste.

Those ideas are nice but will do little, people must be educated about how turning their eyes away from the truth hurts others. I suppose that should be the first thing I do.

I agree.

I have no respect for people who commit suicide over trivial matters, and throw their whole lives away for nothing.

THE WORLD IS NOT HEAVEN, NOR IS IT HELL!

It's a mix of the two. That's how it's always been.

You can die and be free of sorrow, or live and fight it. I know which I'd choose.

Are you sure you have Asperger's? I didn't know of Aspies being so sensitive and empathetic. Perhaps it's that you've come across empathy, and don't know how to deal with the bad side of it. I can sympathise. However, people have to just deal with feeling the pain of others. People don't normally have suicidal thoughts because of it.
Whatever you do, never give up, lest you are too weak.

Cry me a river.

lol xD

For many years my parents taught me to love, respect, others that is how I was brought up. When I was old enough to start comprehending the bible I ( I was around eight) I started reading what Christ said about treating others with respect and how he died not of a broken body but of a broken heart. As I grew my ability to see how the most tiny problem connected to even the largest no matter how far apart they were grew as well. By the time I was 14 I could see that even a tiny bit of waste on my part could doom another to go without or even die, that is when the suffering started. Now imagine the thoughts that would go along with all that yet they cannot escape from your mind fast enough. Its like someone goes and shakes a soda the guilty, sadness, rage are the soda and want to be free, and as time passes they grow stronger till boom they are set free.

To address your question am I sure I have asperger's I am sure, my parents pushed me hard to grown and learn, nurturing my heart my mind and my soul never once giving up never once slacking.

I have always had empathy and the ability to care for others, but I know I am aspie (the quack told me right to my face)

I do agree that you do need to learn to be a bit more heartless. I am not going to say that you should abandon empathy altogether, but unless you are willing to blunt that sense a bit, you are going to do something even more selfish than than most selfish people do. Is suicide a kind option? Usually not. People go through that with broken hearts and emptied dreams, wounds that might never heal right. Not only that, but if you are a Christian, then you need to remember that the point of Christ's action was to save you, not condemn you. If you push this route, then you would be spitting into his face as well.

I am sorry if that sounds cold, but sometimes some level of coldness helps. Your emotions will probably never be "right", but at the very least you do the world a lot of good if you earnestly strive to gain some level of stability. This is not to say that you shouldn't stop striving to change the world, but you need to get a grip on the world to make your change. To be honest, I think you can change your emotions, it just is a very difficult thing and rather hard to focus upon. You basically have to train yourself to be less sensitive.

He should lose part of it, there are enough tears in the world to drown a giraffe in, to care is not the issue, the issue is that to suffer so greatly is a terrible burden beyond what most people can carry, and beyond what he thinks he can carry. If the choice is between no tears and giving tears to others, then the altruistic choice is no tears.

That might be a good alienating emotion for you if you are relatively passionate in caring. If you can instead kill a bit of that with anger, it could be useful. Yes, I know, performing emotional surgery on yourself is a bit of a difficult thing, but just use reinforcement techniques. When you allow yourself to feel less empathetic(or more at peace or more trusting of God or whatever relevant substitute feeling you can think of), reward yourself in some manner. You have a bundle of emotions, and not all of them are empathy, use your emotions to weaken your emotions. Just be careful, if you do too much, then it can lead to problems, your emotional health is probably going to be a point of weakness for you period.

^

For once, I actually agree with you, AG.

Well, to suffer so greatly is not a burden I would want to see on another person. I would be heartless if I didn't at least try to do something, and well... if there is an excess of one emotion bringing pain, then this emotion needs to be reduced for it's own sake.