ReGiFroFoLa wrote:
I hate "my" family! After so many yers of tornment and abuse - what else could I write? Father? f**k him! He doesn't even realize he has got a daughter (narcistic bastard!). He never realized it! Within the age of 4 and the age of 17 - I only got to meet him twice

He never even wrote me! He never cared. I HATE THE FATHER! Mother? f**** b***h! She destroyed me...

She destroyed me...

She destroyed me...

I HATE THE MOTHER! Sister? God damn it! She's just unsensitive whore! She instilled fear, anxiety and self-hate in me... She taught me to take every blame on me. She taught me I'm no one and nothing... She still devastates me - nevermind all those miles from here to Switzerland. She still poisones me. She enjoys when I suffer... I HATE THE SISTER! Why they keep hurting me? Why they keep putting me down? f**** hell! Why the hell was I even born? I hate the world! What the hell have I done in my previous incarnation, so now I suffer so f**** much? I hate the fate! Or is it just God who hates me so much, and obtains pleasure from my pain? f**k

ReGiFroFoLa
I am 29 myself and I have lots of hatred myself that is stored up inside of me. I can tell you this. The hatred will eat you up more and more until you don't even know who you are anymore. I don't want you to end up like me in which I have thoughts like killing myself, putting myself into a coma and never wake up, or committing my self to a mental instution and let them pump me full of drugs so I feel nothing and I can forget. In fact, I am so exhausted most of the time. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed.
I understand exactly where you are coming from. The problem is is we aspies have excellent long term memories, and a huge sense of justice, and we don't see a point to a lot of the things NTs do. We also think so radically different than NTs.
I have in my 29 years seen a lot of the NT world and I know I shouldn't think like this is I see much of the NT world as depraved and you probably do also. If I'm incorrect about this than I apologize.