I know what depression is like, I had it for roughly 12 hours... thankfully I knew what I had to do to come out of that feeling of empty despair. My advice, since this has been going on for a while, get help, before you reach the point of no return, that fact that you are posting here about it says you still have something that keeps you clinging to life. Find someone who can help you figure out how to fix that problem, and if it helps to get there, get help to get medicated. I once had a friend who was depressed and suicidal, if it helps I can see if he would talk to you about it, and possibly give you his msn in a pm. If you think that might help, pm me.