is it not alright to be aspie and emotional?

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Expressing emotions is fine. I think most people with AS tend to keep their emotions bottled up inside. At least, I know I do. As far as making posts which relate to emotions or emotional experiences, just post what you feel comfortable getting criticism and/or negative comments about. Ignore those who talk crap or whatever, then start talking to those that actually have something of value to say via pm or an instant messenger. Once you have a better idea of who you can trust, and who's ready to hear what, then you can go into more detail with those individuals. It really is too bad that people cant express themselves the way they want without being alienated. That's part of why I'm such a loner

this sounds like pretty good advice. --and i have to agree it is too bad the way people can alienate others just because they may not understand the way they express themselves, and it's one of the reasons i tend to isolate myself as well. it is often easier to judge than to try to understand a different point of view, i guess. i just get tired of having to explain everything i do and think and feel to people b/c i'm "so different" and they "don't get me". sometimes it is just easier to be alone b/c it's the only time you can do without those explanations and just be.

agreed.

i tend to bottle up feelings as well.

hey im an emotional aspie
ive been driven mad by my depression lately(over having no close friends)

Firstly, as far as I can tell AS is primarily a difficulty in communication as opposed to an impairment in emotions. In particular, if I keep my thoughts in it's either because I think they would be better left unsaid, or I otherwise am unable to express them eloquently enough.

Secondly, the notion of there being a logic-emotions dichotomy is - as far as I can tell - false. If you're particularly angry, depressed or elated then your capacity for judgment might be somewhat impaired, but that doesn't cover the whole range of human emotions by any means.

Thirdly... I can't speak for anyone here, because many here seem to hold stock in a dichotomy between "logical" and "emotional" choices. But if I point out logical fallacies in what people are saying, it's because I want to help them reason better or maybe try to calm them down for the same end.

I just think it's that lack of empathy and understanding of complex emotions in others that's the problem. I know alot of people dispute this lack of emotional reasoning, but I've seen plenty of it around. Some of us might be uncomfortable with other people expressing themselves emotionally for this reason. I know I can.

I'm extremely detached from other peoples emotions and feelings and find it hard to make sense of them. But I can be brimming with emotion myself. My emotions are so rudimentary, which can often be strong and overwhelming and I can find them as hard to understand as the emotions of other people.

I don't think it's inpossible for a person to be highly logical and highly emotional at times also.

ditto. january is the shittiest month for depression

i understand what you mean about pointing out logical fallacies to help people understand things or calm them down.....as an aspie i know that when i understand a situation logically i feel better equiped to handle it and am less likely to get upset. however, i am talking about people who try to force the idea on others that logic is the preferable choice, and that emotional choices will most likely lead to folly. how would people fall in love if they never allowed themselves to make purely emotional choices? love is not rational. it is a huge risk and statistically likely to hurt the people involved.....but what would our lives be like if we never made choices like that? if we never took those "illogical" risks?

I wouldn't say falling in love is irrational in the sense that it might be reasoned why two people fall in love. And I wouldn't say it is necessarily an "irrational" decision either, depending on the prudence of the two people involved.

And again we run into this logic-emotions dichotomy, which strikes me as false. For one thing, I do not equate being calm with the absence of emotion. There might be a dichotomy in the sense that people may either try or not try to think critically about what they say and do, but it's a vague one given how different people assess risk (say).

well i don't know about you but to me falling in love sure feels irrational--you can't stop thinking about the person, you feel out of control, you do crazy things. maybe that's just me, and for others love doesn't feel that way.....but i have heard it described like that by others to, so i don't think i'm completely alone in that.

Well, that confirms it. I don't know what love feels like. I don't think Ive ever loved anyone as long as I can remember. Although, since it has a tendency to make people act irrationally, I'm not sure I want to.

I wouldn't say it's a choice. I don't choose to be logical, and you probably don't choose to be emotional. it's just the way we are.

I don't know how to deal with other people's displays of emotion. I can't empathise with them, and for me it's like having disturbances in radio signal- I just can't hear any meaning in it. I don't know what is the appropriate reaction that is not going to tip the emotional person off. I don't think emotionality should be condemned, it's nothing to be ashamed of. it's just that there's no place for it in an argument.

I've never been in a relationship, but I've had obsessive crushes that sound like that. And it's impeded my sense of judgment in the sense that I lose track of, say, whether my impressions of what my love interest thinks of other people or of me are substantive or merely speculative. But I can think of an at least utilitarian argument that this process I go through is ultimately worthwhile, especially if it eventually leads to a happy long-term relationship with children. So I wouldn't say your manner of falling in love is essentially irrational.

i don't know if i agree with that (your first statement, i mean). to a certain extent people can subvert emotion--it just takes a lot of effort and will. god knows my father has been doing it for so long that i don't believe he actually experiences any emotion directly anymore. it takes seriously concerted effort, but it is possible, just like it is possible to use a lot of willpower to overcome a logical conclusion to suit a more emotional answer (like if your house were on fire and the firemen had not arrived yet, and your cat was still in the house which was burning wildly--not really logical to run back in and risk your life for a cat, but if you really loved that cat-or dog- you could make yourself run back in by using your love as motivation to overcome your more sensible nature that is telling you you will probably only injure yourself). whether you actually choose to do that would be a personal choice, but i don't think it would completely depend on your nature.

i will say our natures certainly dictate our behavior most of the time, so i guess what you say is true most of the time. i just mean it is possible to consciously choose anything, no matter what your nature, provided you have the will to do it--and it should work in both directions b/w logic and emotion.

also, i understand that we all have issues with properly understanding where others are coming from emotionally and empathising--including me. i'm not talking about that so much as feeling that one type of 'nature' is better than the other, and then arguing it as such online. basically i think a value comparison b/w emotional and logical is silly. they are different, and differently useful, but equal in value to human beings as tools for living in the world. factoring emotions into a discussion with other human beings is a people skill, however, and it's important in everday interaction, whether NT or AS. so it does have it's place in arguments, to a certain reasonable extent, because it is inescapable for all of us, once again to an extent depending on the individual--unless someone here wants to tell me that they are so logical that they have no feelings at all. otherwise it is a factor for everyone, and should be taken into consideration (this part is just more challenging for most of us, also including myself).

ok well the situation with the cat is not really that simple. I guess it depends on your personality type- I'm INTP so I trust my intuition in information-gathering. a ISTP person would probably behave differently than me, although the T(hinking) part is the same (as opposed to Feeling).

I guess it all depends on the argument though, logical approach is probably not a very good one in solving relationship problems (I am the best example of that) but emotional approach might get in the way of a more factual discourse.

I guess the lack of the right balance of the two is what makes us (neuro-atypicals) so different from the rest, as we tend to be either polar extreme.

and I also don't think emotionality is something to be scoffed at, as long as it doesn't get in the way of logic I'm all for the peaceful co-existence.

i'm INFJ i believe, so that makes sense lol.