Desparation and Frustration

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I agree. When I've been suicidal, I reach out to other people and try to offer counsel to them. It actually helps to bring me out of that state of mind and helps me feel valuable and worth keeping alive.

You have plenty of chances later in life to make friends. You can do it. It just might take time. Try to be patient.

Call a doctor. Consider an anti-depressant.

Ok, you've got the attention of eleven people. Missconstrue, FireBird, sinsboldly, agmoie, Nim, ForgottenDarkness, Evenflowman, Learning2Survive, Tahitiii, mechanima, whitetiger. So start spilling. It's hard to say anything useful when we don't know what's happening. Chances are, one of us will be able to say, "I've been there."

I was 16. I won't spam your thread with my personal issues because they're probably not relevant. But I can say that I remember what it was like to feel trapped. You feel like an adult because you are. The whole idea of adolescence is an industrial age fairytale. It doesn't exist. Unfortunately, no one else in the world thinks so, so you have to deal with people who like to think they know what's good for you and don't bother to ask.

What is the truth, and which part don't they get?

I'm going to bed, now, protest_the_hero. Drop me a PM when you sign back on.

Merle

Hope you get better protest.

I hope he doesn't do it, its not worth it (I've talked with him on msn about this but he seems pretty serious)...

Hey, Protest_the_Hero,
couldja post how you're doin'?

Merle

I'm don't think I'll be abl to speak to my parents. They're just the wrong type of people. I'd say th few half friends I've got may be my best shot. Besides, maybe we actually could be close if we talked about this stuff. Unfortunately I still have cutting scars to show my parents. I'll have to show those soon.

I have been thinking about you a lot...and I have come to realise that one of the delightful features of AS is that it really, truly, doesn't let you shut bad stuff out and relax.

We aren't be able to relax until we know know we have a solution...I don't know about you, but sometimes, when I can't find another solution for a while, making a *deferred* decision to take my own life if it gets too bad, helps me stand down the stress enough to find another solution...

If you cannot talk to your parents, you can't, so you have to identify all your other options...and stop cutting your arms...it doesn't kill you, it doesn't help you, and it won't communicate anything you need for you...maybe the opposite.

M.

Edit - delete

When I was 16, I tried to commit suicide... I was not successful but I was really sick for over a week from overdosing on pills.

I had a lot of good things happen afterwards and if I would of died then, I would of missed out all together... Let me see..

I had 4 kids, some really awesome sex, 16 1/2 years of marriage and my soon-to-be ex is still my best friend though... went to college, had some interesting and good jobs, met some really good people... And watch my children grow up... they are all teen agers now...

Life gets better after high school.... There will be a lot more things which will be appealing to you after high school.... it is hard to see it when all you know is what it is like in school... I was once there, I was once depressed, and even tried to kill myself as well... I am glad I didn't... Instead of letting others affect you through your emotions which causes you to implode.... be stronger because of it...

Doing something in spite of being scared is courage
-- John Wayne

Things are scary and messed up, maintain and let it build character, be better from it... dont let it crush you...

Please don't try to kill or harm yourself. On a different thread, different time, another posted this, in paraphrase, and his advice is 'right-on.'

That you are suffering, protest_the_hero, is real. Just as real as any other medical emergency that requires immediate attention. If you had fallen down the steps and had a compound bone fracture and a concussion, would you wait to go to the doctor/ER? No, of course not. That and you'd be in intolerable screaming physical pain. Well, this is no different.

So even if your parents may not understand the situation (and I'm sorry if they don't) you need medical care, pronto. And Wrong Planet does care about you.

protest_the_hero: If you can, call a suicide # locally and tell them just what you posted here, even if you read it aloud to them. This is too much to handle all by yourself and that's not at all implying that 'you're not strong enough,' the opposite, in fact! Imagine if you were in a bad car accident with multiple injuries; of course you cannot take care of this yourself - that's why there are emergency medics. If you feel this bad (or worse) call 911 (& you don't need your parent's permission).

That being said, I hope you feel better soon. And you will!