The Misfit Club - for all those aliens feeling left behind

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But also pity me for being so OLD! I usually avoid these types of admission because they scream - LOOK HOW OLD SHE IS!

Yes, Glenn when his voice wasn't quite so chewed up and his muscles were all big and bulgey. That right there is one angry angry man. Or was. He's not quite so angry now. Saw him on That Metal Show and not only is he MUCH more mellow but also so soft spoken...

Thank you draelynn - gosh never had a place of honour before (blushing like an English rose and bursting with pride) =]

not where i live! age doesn't matter...at an underground show/party that is...that's too bad about glenn though. if i had time traveling powers i would for sure go see the show where doyle smashed his guitar over some guy's head on halloween. sounds so wonderfully rowdy and illegal and old school wait maybe that was jerry..... who knows

I happen to appreciate roses quite a bit! Gardening fool since I was 15 or so. My biggest problem - I never finish anything I start so while I have a ton of plants, none of the beds are planted the way they should be! By the time I get around to finishing a bed I've changed my mind and direction. Spring has been slow coming this year but when it finally turns that corner I'll put up some pictures.

(As you can see - plant girl talks about plants! Sorry if I assumed too much from your icon/avatar!)

Apparently you DO live on another planet!Age doesn't matter... how I WISH! I have a funny-to-everyone-but-me story about that;

Okay... we took my daughter to 7-11 to get a Slurpee.. The man and kidling go in, I stay in the car. Radio station plays White Zombie - More Human Than Human. LOVE White Zombie. Love that song so I crank it up, space out in my own little zombie world for a minute or two.

( In case y'all don't know... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voT3jGWUh2o )

I look to my right, there is a kid in the car next to me, young 20 something --- staring... like, jaw on the ground disbelief staring... I half smile and say 'what?' (maybe it was too loud?)

"Are you really listening to that?"

"Ummmmm... yes." (dumbass - I'm sitting here with the radio blaring, singing along... )

"Wow... I... uh... I didn't know old people listened to that kind of music."

O_O

"I was in my 20's when this song came out. It's fifteen years old."

"Oh."

True story. Apparently music from my young adulthood has age restrictions on it. So not amused! I was feeling okay about my age up until that point...

And rowdy, illegal and old school was sort of a way of life in the late 80's/early 90's. That was thrash/punk/deathmetal - it was a golden age when all of them got along as one happy dysfunctional family despite the onslaught of hairbands and pop princesses. No wonder I fit in...

lmao you are soo right about that. i do live on another planet. more like a black hole than a planet though....

that kid sounds like a MAJOR tool. don't worry music has no age restrictions drae!!

Well, in the spirit of no age restrictions, I will take a leap of faith here and share soem of my less mature interests... anime, vampires, all things dark,evil and creepy... and all in one place! Enjoy... as long as you don't mind animated violence, snarky vampires, badly subtitled Japanese anime and wickly fun songs glorifying evil... you are forewarned.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIIGz1YqMXg[/youtube]

Posted this in a thread I started - it's had 120 views and 1 response - so just thought I'd try it here -

Just wanted to pop in with a segment of this book I just read (field guide to earthlings) that struck a chord with me.

The passage reads:
Generally autism therapy revolves around pretending there is no fundamental difference (between NT's and auties), and trying to steer autistics into acting NT. People see autism as the problem, and they see acting as the solution. It is not that they think only autistics should act; they believe in acting as a general path of development for everyone, and for a reason. NTs generally decide who they are in a social context, and so when they try to help you, they apply the same principles that work for them. But you are not a cultural animal (addressing autistics here). You are a sensitive animal. You will discover who you are, not decide. Huge difference!. You must climb your mountain, not the one that a therapist (or trying to be helpfull NT) thinks you should climb. The acting skills that you might learn to mask autism can be irrelevent or harmful to the process of self-discovery.
(bold writing and bracketed comments are mine)

Like I say it struck a chord - and very strongly too. I am so sick of people (even though I KNOW it is well intentioned) telling me how to act or think (most often I'm told to change my thinking). I find myself getting more angry and upset about it because I CANNOT get them to understand that this is not an option. Changing my thinking means ACTING another way and I can only pull off acting in very short bursts that leave me feeling very strange and upset afterward - like I've been very untrue to myself and it hurts.

Does anyone else relate to this strongly as I do?

I also want to confess that sometimes I struggle in life because I just don't know what to do sometimes - even in a practical sense.

I've had a broken fence panel that's been lying on my lawn for months - I kept feeling that I don't know what to do about it!!
Today I've broken it up in to pieces. It's now a god awful mess on my driveway but I guess I can put some bits at a time in the bin and despose of it that way which will take a while or pay the local council to collect and dispose of it (so long as it's not too expensive as funds are low).

Now I'm trying to mow my long thick horrible grass - now the grass box is full and I don't know what to do! We are not suppose to put garden waste in the bin - what do I do with it? Seriously - I'm stuck. I have a garden waste bin but we have to pay yearly for that and I haven't paid so It won't be emptied! I don't want a big heap of dead grass in my garden that will blow everywhere. I hate feeling so helpless when I'm trying so hard to get things done. It feels like I run into brick walls all the time. Everything seems difficult like I've never learned properly how to do these things

Compost bin?


[img][800:1200]http://ryan.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/img_1389.jpg[/img]

Ok - thank you Titangeek - and what do I do with it apart from fill it with grass till its bursting at the seams? and where can I put it? I tidy the garden to try and make a nice space to be in - I don't want to be looking at and smelling a compost heap

But know your only tryin to help

THIS, very much so. I can act NT for the most part. I can get away with shallow conversation. But, if it drags on for hours or if I'm under alot of stress, the real me seeps in and freaks people out because they never saw it coming. It is always an act. An act not for my comfort but for theirs. I'm not sure where the belief that this act will, in some way, make me feel better or fit in better or make my life easier. It makes it so much harder. It makes me feel even more like a failure that I can't maintain the facade long enough to be considered 100% 'normal'. And, from what I've seen of 'normal' - I don't WANT to fit in. I'm okay with my individuality. I'm okay with despising shallow, meaningless social contacts, saving my feelings and friendship for those who are willing and able to commit to a relationship of equals. I don't feel particularly accomplished and 'glowing with pride' after a successful conversation at the check out line. It only confirms that the majority of social contact is vapid and shallow and has no real purpose other than letting people know 'they are not alone'. If it is a comforting daily reaffirmation that NT's need to feel complete - well, more power to them. Why are they trying to force it on me when i clearly have interest in it?

The universe used to revolve around the flat earth. And then, we learned - but only after alot of crying and screaming and threatening to kill the heretics. We as a species have always been more than a little narcissitic - the universe needed to revolve around us. The sun needed to revolved around us. So, of course, all humans must require the same socialization because all humans evolved the exact same way, right? Natural and long existing genetic brain variations serve no purpose in our species so it must be 'fixed', right? Something tells me our ancestors dealt with these variations in a much different way. Obviously, it served some purpose or else the trait wouldn't have survived natural selection. People, in general, are not smarter than nature.

I completely agree with titangeek - compost bin!

The trick to a compost bin is to mix it 2/3 dry ingredients - leaves, pine needles, shredded newspaper - to 1/3 wet - grass clippings, fruit/veggie waste, coffee grounds, etc... Toss it all together one or two times and let it turn into compost. If everything is shredded with a lawn mower and tossed more frequently it will cook down much faster. Make sure the bottom is open to the soil. Earthworms will speed the process even more. Using the shred method with several tosses a week you can have finished compost in about three weeks. If you let it sit, it could take up to 8 to 10 on it's own. If it's smelly and slimy, you have too much nitrogen - too much green/wet stuff. Toss it with at least equal part dry and it start cooking like it should. Compost should smell like rich and earthy. It shouldn't smell at all if it's mixed right. just remeber to avoid putting oily or cooked foods or meat waste in the bin.

Compost can be used like mulch. it not only acts like mulch but it is the best fertilizer for gardens. If you have no use for fresh, rich crumbly black compost just put a sign at your driveway - FREE COMPOST. Someone with a veggie garden or such will gladly take it off your hands.

You could plant a shrub or two in font of it, and feed the compost to the shrub,.

i can strongly relate, but i haven't exactly found home so it's as if sometimes i have to act to keep my head above water. i will never attend said therapy and be told what to think and feel and who to be - im already guarding against enough of that stuff. these games are really no better than someone with a sociopathic personality.

acting blows.

I know "acting" is very close to being fake, but - and I know this isn't a popular opinion - I've always wished that someone would just TELL me what the heck I'm supposed to do. I don't know what to do a lot of the time. I don't know how I'm supposed to act in situations. I need a list, I need a crib note, I need a cricket whispering in my ear, anything so I'll stop getting lost and phasing out into my own world. What pisses me off is if someone tells me how to feel though.