I feel hopeless and wann just stop living.

Post Reply New Topic

I don’t live anywhere near Portland that was just the only aspie group in Oregon I’ve found on meetup

do you live within an hour's drive of Portland? or of Salem? Medford? [those are the only main cities I can think of right now in Oregon]. if a meetup group formed in any of whichever was an hour away from you, would you think about paying one a visit? that was the thing with me, I live out in the sticks, but an hour of freeway driving got me to Olympia which initially had an aspie group.

There is stuff around if you dig for it. Got you some stuff. Hopefully one of these results in something useful for you. The town right next to you has heaps, way more than here. I might move there to go to the "Save the bees" group.

Autism support group: http://autismoregon.org/providers/autis ... -aspergers
Also have a look at these, they may not be directly autism related, but ways to meet people: http://autismoregon.org/support_groups? ... y&sort=asc
Social skills support group: http://autismoregon.org/providers/socia ... al-outings
This might not directly relate to you, but you may still be able to find like minded people here: https://www.meetup.com/DBSALaneCounty/
Again, something that you might enjoy, even if it doesn't directly relate to you: https://www.meetup.com/Eugene-Springfie ... cial-Club/
Didn't you say you didn't want kids? Here you go: https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-stMjCwCm/
Awkwardness meet up: https://www.meetup.com/AwkwardArea/
Snuggle parties: https://www.meetup.com/Positive-Touch-Lane-County/
Empathy group: https://www.meetup.com/Empathy-Cafe-Evo ... ion-Group/
You mentioned that you game, here is a gaming group: https://www.meetup.com/Video-Gamers-Eugene/
Have a look through here and see if anything might help you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/groups/or/eugene
Social skills/social outings: http://autismoregon.org/providers/socia ... al-outings
This looks like a cool site with heaps of opportunities: http://getinvolvedineugene.com/
More lists of groups: http://projects.registerguard.com/support-services/

This might help:

Men's monthly grief support group
led by Dave Sorenson. Meetings held 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. first Thursday of each month, at PeaceHealth Sacred Heart Hospice, 677 E. 12th Ave., Eugene 541-461-7550, advance registration required.

This looks like a sort of online community: https://healthunlocked.com/anxiety-depression-support
These might be worth saving some money for: http://www.veryspecialcamps.com/Oregon/ ... amps.shtml

You might also find support groups for things about health, for example if you are unhappy with your weight, there are weight loss groups. If you go to a group and don't like it, then cross it off, but you never know if you don't try, you never know who you will randomly meet.

Cool, look what I found. A forum full of single and looking people in Oregon. https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum63.aspx

Sly lives in the Eugene area.

You keep changing your definition of success to suit your depressed state of mind and convince yourself that you are not successful at anything & never will be.

If you had no job at all before, then having a job at all is a success. 6 years ago when I got back to work part time it was definitely at a "teenager job," and I was highly stressed that I may never function well enough again to do much of anything else. But, the job was ok because I worked for my friend. Over time I improved my brain functions and did the job better and better and then knew I'd be just fine doing other jobs in the future - and since, I have. But even if you just maintain A job and don't advance, so what? You've successfully managed to keep a job.

Success is 100k/year office job? Oh yay, high stress, sitting around getting fat, breathing recycled air all day.. such a success. I have a few friends that have quit their 6 figure jobs to travel the world & hangout/work at the beach all summer. They feel much more accomplished and successful at living their lives to the fullest than they ever did pushing paper in an office. Success can come in many different forms & is all a matter of perspective and what you really want out of life.

At least 20 guns vs. less than 10? WTF? Even at 5 guns you have collected FIVE TIMES as many as the guy who only has one. As for gun owners typically buying 1-2 guns/month.. that just sounds batshit crazy to me - 12-24 guns/year every year?? Bizarre custom. That must truly only be the most hardcore dedicated collectors, Not the typical gun owner. Hell, my brother is a firearms instructor as part of his job & he's NEVER owned a gun. Obviously he's not a collector, though. But whatever, my point is that if you had 19 guns in a rack you'd still say you were a failed collector because you never hit 20 nor bought 1-2 every month & you'll think and say that so long as you remain depressed and incapable of seeing anything positive about yourself, your life, your actions etc.

Ok, so you dislike being alone. What are you doing to change that? Hint: Complaining about it won't change it. Only taking action and doing something different can. Maybe try some/all of those links Hale_Bopp posted. Or try something else. There's just no sense in doing the same exact thing and then complaining that somehow, mysteriously, you got the same exact undesirable results.

I do. When they have something of value to say, I listen carefully in order to learn. When I want to tune it out because their advice is actually not very good, I listen politely and then ignore them. But I do let a LOT of people tell me how to be and live - especially if they are better and more successful than me at the area of life they're advising me on. It's like the old cliche: "Never take advice from someone you wouldn't be willing to trade places with," it's not ALWAYS true, but it's pretty true.. like I'm not as likely to take financial advice from someone who has No money vs. from someone who has a Lot of money. Some poor people still know good things, though, so I still listen and hear them out. But yeah, I take advice and learn from a lot of people in my life. Friends, family, doctors, bosses, coworkers etc etc as well as authors I read, people on forums and so on. I cannot take complete credit for who I am today for I am the culmination of what I've learned from many people who've taught me how to live my life.

So, then what are you doing about being around people then? It's not going to happen by magic. You must take action and either invite other human beings to where you are, or transport yourself to where they are, and then see how things go in terms of conversation/friendships etc.

I don’t have a car. Buses don’t leave the city limits. And inside the city the places the bus goes is less and lesss each year as they pour more money into the fancy emx system trying to recover their record.

Take the bus as far as it goes and then walk or ride a bicycle. Bicycles are 3x as efficient as walking/jogging, so your range of travel is tripled on the same energy. You are not a tree! You do not have to stay planted right where you are 24/7.

It’s two - 3 hours car ride going 60 mph to get to Portland it’d take me days by bike or walking

So then don't go to Portland. You live near Eugene. Go there, it's closer.

If you must go to Portland, figure out a way!

People post ads on craigslist all the time seeking rides to places & offering gas money. Post an ad. Someone who is going to town will give you a ride there in exchange for $ for gas. Arrange to head back with them later, too. Or with someone else.

I've only ever hitchhiked once. I could afford the bus ticket, but hitchhiking is a sort of "way of the mountains," here. Once you're in the mountains, people hitchhike to go rock climbing or whatever outdoor activity. Hell, a bunch of people that live in the mountains don't even own cars and don't take the buses because there are so few of them - hitchhiking is faster, easier, and more reliable so they literally hitchhike to and from work every morning! It's really pretty cool. IF you have a safe & chill environment to hitchhike in, it's also an option. I literally tried to pay each of my rides money for gas and they all declined and said they were just happy to provide a ride when they were already going that direction - same as when I pick up hitchhikers in the mountains and drop them off wherever they want to stop and be for their day of fun. I was able to travel from Whistler to Langley, well over 100 miles, for free.

Why I'm happy: Because I accept that this is LIFE, not utopia, and life is hard and cruel and unfair a lot of the time. But I refuse to ruin the parts of my life that are worth enjoying, no matter how small or insignificant, by focusing all my attention on the parts that aren't. THAT'S why I'm happy. Happy is a choice, not something you can buy or stumble across. A personal choice.

That's my last post for this thread. I won't be coming back to this one. Lots of luck and good wishes.

I’m sorry I upset you. I enjoyed our chats

Why do you think you upset Coyote, Sly? She's not upset with you, per se. She's upset about the futility you impose upon yourself.

Hitchhiking is illegal in the US. It is also sometimes dangerous. I don't think Sly should hitchhike.

I think I’m going call tomorrow about the government paying for someone to spend time with me. Maybe see if they take me places and try help me meet friends.

Kortie is right. I'm not upset with you, I just don't like where this thread is going and I don't want to be part of it anymore. I don't want to aid you in making yourself miserable, and if I keep responding to this thread in particular it'll enable you to keep focusing on negativity. I came here during a really bad heavy depression, and talking to you played a part in helping me through it. So I want to help you in return.

I like chatting with you too Sly, but I won't help keep you in the dark places in your head. That would be wrong of me. We can still chat, you can PM me, we can talk on other threads. Just not this one anymore, okay?

Edit saw her post after posting.

We just have different happiness paths. If I was on an extrovert site I bet I’d get lots of advice about how interacting with people brings happiness. Wp is a aspie sure most aspies are inoverts. It doesn’t surprise me a bunch of anti social inoverts would say happiness comes from within. I had happiness before so I know where my happiness comes from. I was very happy when I had friends I spent every day with. Now o don’t and I’m depressed. The lack of romantic parter is part of that too. I’ve never been one to Derrick happiness from hobbies or activities it was always spending time with others doing those activities that made me happy. I accept that many here are happy with the activity itself. Why can’t any of you accept others might get happy from spending time with others?